A classic March 2002 posts The Importance of Hope

[Guest guest]

THE IMPORTANCE OF HOPE

Introduction

When van Gerven was given a diagnosis of pleural mesothelioma

several years ago, he immediately went downhill. His wife, who has

created a website dealing with this rare cancer caused by asbestos,

reports that it was the manner in which the diagnosis was given that

seemed to take away his joy of life and even his will to live. He

accepted the fate handed him. Perhaps he hadn't heard Norman

Cousins' admonition: " Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the

verdict. " (See Newly Diagnosed)

Unfortunately, upon hearing the words of the all-knowing doctor,

apparently believed there was nothing to be done but accept

his fate. It is true, of course, that perhaps nothing could have

changed the course of the disease. After all, this is a very

difficult cancer to treat and is frequently fatal. However, from

that moment on he seemed to simply wait for the end, like a man on

death row when his last appeal has been denied. And in accepting the

sentence handed down, missed out on whatever joy life could

have granted him for whatever time he had left.

Deidre van Gerven's report of her husband's reaction is an excellent

illustration of what we all know intuitively about the role of hope

and healing. We can feel deep in our bones and muscles a strength

to carry on when we have hope that things will turn out for the best,

if we just keep on keeping on. We also know the dread that pulls us

down when we are sure we'll be defeated in trying to reach a

goal. " What's the use? " we ask.

THE NATURE AND COMPLEXITY OF HOPE

What do we know about hope? The following are some observations.

Hope exists within a realistic context of uncertainty. When we move

ahead with plans for a vacation, we hope to enjoy ourselves, although

we are clearly aware that potential obstacles like the weather and

airline strikes are beyond our control. A person who has hope in the

face of a life-threatening illness likewise moves forward with quiet

confidence. If the statistics for cancer patients indicate there is

only a 10% probability of survival, they will approach life as though

those figures can apply to them.

Hope is a crucial antidote to fear. The unknown that lies within a

diagnosis of cancer raises many fears and anxieties. Unlike the

person who denies the reality of the diagnosis in an effort to avoid

having to deal openly with frightening and unsettling emotions, a

person with hope realizes that the future may not turn out as he or

she would like and, nevertheless, chooses to believe the future is

somehow benevolent. Such a person focuses on potential rather than

limitation.

The " meaning " and " purpose " of our lives is intertwined with hope. As

Jeanne Achterberg of the Saybrook Institute in San Francisco has

suggested, hope is the " enduring feeling that life makes sense. " When

life makes sense, it can be transcended in the sense that one can

rise above it psychologically and not be emotionally defeated by it.

It is possible that by taking such a position a person may actually

live longer.

What is hoped for changes during the course of illness. The National

Coalition for Cancer Survivorship calls this " the changing mosaic of

hope. " When symptoms force us to see the doctor for an examination,

as we wait for the results we hope there won't be anything seriously

wrong -- certainly not cancer. After a diagnosis of cancer, generally

the first thing for which we hope is a complete cure. Later, after

treatment, we may hope for an extended period of remission before

cancer might recur or for control of symptoms for a long time. When

cancer is in the advanced stage, there is still much to hope for:

living to see a daughter graduate, energy to take a trip to some

place we've always wanted to visit, a slow rate of deterioration,

lessening of pain, having a peaceful, dignified death.

Action requires hope. In order to plan for the future, to research

the latest medical advances and to take part in decisions concerning

treatment options, a person needs the ability to imagine that his or

her efforts may be at least potentially successful.

Hope permeates all dimensions of a person's life. People with hope

have a greater sense of energy. Most of the time their mood is more

likely to be up than down, despite obstacles. Because they feel more

confident, they ask more questions. They are also more persistent and

a busy, impatient doctor may not view them as " good " patients, while

more passive, and less hopeful, patients may be.

There are many sources of hope. For some, hope comes from a belief

that God cares for them. For others, hope arises from a belief that

research can discover a cure. Others may believe their doctor knows

best and put themselves in the hands of their medical team.

Hope expects -- and needs -- reinforcement and external support.

While hope can exist in the absence of uniform agreement that a goal

will be reached (in which case success may not need much hope because

the probability of achieving it may almost be assured), maintaining

hope in the face of total opposition is extremely difficult. That is

why hopeful people are connected with other people and with the

things they care about. They are thus able to draw strength from

their families, their beliefs, their participation in what needs to

be done toward reaching their goals, and in the medical procedure

they choose. This is why it is important that family and friends

understand their role in supporting the patient who wants to hope for

the best.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT HOPE IS?

The following poem appears on the website of Deidre van Gerven, who

writes of her husband's slide into despair when given no hope by the

doctor who told him of his rare form of cancer. Since we're had

this poem in our files for a long time, we've decided to share it

with you just as she shares it with visitors to her site. [if you

have trouble accessing the site, these instructions might help or you

can write her at deidre.vangerven@....]

Do You Know What Hope Is?

It's magic and it's free

It's not in a prescription

It's not in an IV

It punctuates out laughter

It sparkles in our tears

It simmers under sorrows

And dissipates our fears

Do you know what hope is?

It's reaching past today

It's dreaming of tomorrow

It's trying a new way

It's pushing past impossible

It's pounding on the door

It's questioning the answers

It's always seeking more

It's rumours of a breakthrough

It's whispers of a cure

A roller-coaster ride

Of remedies unsure

Do you know what hope is?

It's candy for the soul,

It's perfume for the spirit,

To share it makes you whole

~Author Unknown~

EXAMINING HOPE'S EFFECT ON THE BODY

Although hope has been a component of healing since time began,

science has no language to describe it. Until recently there was no

research into why this quality of the human spirit seems so entwined

in the process of recovery. Perhaps this is because hope is not a

pill the doctor can dispense. Your oncologist can't take an x-ray or

read a blood test to see if you have very little hope or a great deal

of it. There is not yet a statistically measurable mechanism by

which we can know the degree to which hope is essential to healing.

Only in the past few years have researchers begun to examine the role

hope (a function of the mind) plays in the course of a disease (a mis-

function of the body). One of those who has been interested in the

biochemical connections between the brain and the body is Candace

Pert, formerly at the National Institutes of Health and now at

town University, who describes this communication system as

the " psychosomatic network. " In her view, " emotions bridge the gap

between mind and matter " and neuropeptides (found throughout the

body) provide the information that underlies emotions.

In October 1995 a conference called " A Question of Hope. " was held in

England. Clive Wood, MSc., DPhil, a British psychologist with a long-

term interest in mind-body connections reported on the conference in

Advances, The Journal of Mind-Body Health in the Spring, 1996,

edition. He writes:

" Studies show, she [Candace Pert] explained, that the immune system's

natural killer cells lose their function in individuals who are

either helpless or hopeless. Conversely, she proposed, hope acts to

boost immunity. The physiological and chemical mechanisms are in

place to support this proposition, she asserted. The neuronal,

hormonal, and immune systems of the body use all the same

neuropeptides to communicate. The constant " cross talk " means that

any one system readily influences the other. For example, the

perception of pain depends on receptors at various levels of the

nervous system, including the cortex. This molecular hierarchy allows

us to decide how we will interpret a particular pain sensation and

where we will set our pain threshold. We can choose to interpret a

pain as being beneficial, a " good pain, " a " pain of work " rather than

a manifestation of disease. And in so doing we can protect ourselves

from anxiety of despair. Such a process is at work, she believed, in

the ability of hope to boost immunity. "

SUPPORTING HOPE

Please Note: Although the following is written for those of you who

are cancer patients, if you are the friend or caregiver for someone

with cancer, these may give you an idea of how you can reinforce hope

for your loved one.

Seek out cancer survivors.

Learn how others have survived cancer or have lived fully despite

their disease. The circumstances of these people's lives, as well as

their type and stage of cancer, may not be the same as yours, but

when your own resolve falters, your can take hope and strength from

knowing what they did in their struggle against cancer. See Cancer

Survivors as part of your search.

Develop rituals of hope.

There are many ways in which you draw strength and hope from the

ordinary events of life by turning them into " rituals of hope. " For

example, if you usually go to the library every two weeks, you could

make your trip a " ritual. " Now when you go, select a book about

something you would like to do or some place you want to visit when

you recover your strength following treatment. As you leave the

library, say to yourself something like, " I will become strong again.

I can make future plans. " You can also create special rituals that

are designed to draw upon the healing strength that comes from

connection with others. For examples of such rituals, there is an

excellent book, Rituals of Healing: Using Imagery for Health and

Wellness by Jeanne Achterberg, Barbara Dossey and Kolkmeier.

Explore the meaning and purpose of your life.

To the extent that hope resides in large part by recognizing the

place you fit within the scheme of things, you can better discover

the meaning of your life by looking at the whole of it. There are

several ways you can do this:

Write the story of your life in a journal. You are writing for your

own purpose and need not worry that it sound good.

Draw pictures of your life, allowing symbols and ideas to come

naturally without criticizing your artistic ability. Only you need

to see them.

Tell your story to others. Discuss what life means to you, the

purpose for which you have lived and intend to live in the future.

Find someone who will really listen, who is interested in what you

say.

Focus on a healing image as often as you can.

The images we hold in our mind's eye have great power to enhance or

hinder our progress toward a goal. You don't need to practice imagery

and meditation on a regular basis, although that appears to be

helpful for many people, but to learn how healing images reinforce

hope, we suggest you read Why Imagery Techniques Work. If you have an

image you would like to share with others, contact CancerOnline.

Use symbols and pictures to reinforce hope.

An unopened flower in a small bud vase can remind you of hope. A

picture of a solitary tree growing on a windswept hillside can

illustrate courage and strength. Wherever you are, look around and

see what can remind you of hope, courage and strength. You might even

make a project of collecting hope symbols.

Use hopeful language.

You can begin by refusing to call yourself a " cancer victim " but

a " cancer survivor. " Victims are powerless to act and hope requires

action. Of course, it may be difficult to see yourself as

a " survivor, " but claiming that definition at any stage of your

disease is " reality " : we all survive until we die. Also, you can

refer to cancer as a " life-challenging " rather than a " life-

threatening " disease. While cancer is definitely a serious illness,

you may notice that you react differently to these terms. The former

opens the possibility of response, while the latter encourages a

position of victimhood.

Make plans.

Plan a chemo-is-over or radiation-is-over party. Make plans for next

week, next month, next year, five years from now. People without hope

don't make plans.

Get yourself a cheering section.

Surround yourself with supportive friends and see as little as

possible of those who are so overwhelmed by their own fear of cancer

that they are unable or unwilling to support your goals. It is better

to have a few friends who are always there for you than to constantly

brace yourself against those who are negative in word and action.

(See Building Supportive Relationships.)

Create a box or basket of hope, life and love.

You might ask a friend to get a large box and help you decorate it

with pictures of supportive family and friends and then place in it

items that reinforce hope, such as poems, brochures of places you

want to visit and stories of long-term survivors. A beautiful basket

can also work well.

Share your hope with others.

There are many ways in which hope can be encouraged and reinforced.

We would like to hear how you have allowed hope to grow and change.

Just contact CancerOnline.

[Guest guest]

The Importance of Hope!!!! Thank You for finding this and sharing it

with us. This is so good. I intend on printing it and reading it over

and over. Thanks Again, Ingrid

>

>

>

> THE IMPORTANCE OF HOPE

>

> Introduction

>

> When van Gerven was given a diagnosis of pleural

mesothelioma

> several years ago, he immediately went downhill. His wife, who has

> created a website dealing with this rare cancer caused by asbestos,

> reports that it was the manner in which the diagnosis was given

that

> seemed to take away his joy of life and even his will to live. He

> accepted the fate handed him. Perhaps he hadn't heard Norman

> Cousins' admonition: " Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the

> verdict. " (See Newly Diagnosed)

>

> Unfortunately, upon hearing the words of the all-knowing doctor,

> apparently believed there was nothing to be done but accept

> his fate. It is true, of course, that perhaps nothing could have

> changed the course of the disease. After all, this is a very

> difficult cancer to treat and is frequently fatal. However, from

> that moment on he seemed to simply wait for the end, like a man on

> death row when his last appeal has been denied. And in accepting

the

> sentence handed down, missed out on whatever joy life could

> have granted him for whatever time he had left.

>

> Deidre van Gerven's report of her husband's reaction is an

excellent

> illustration of what we all know intuitively about the role of hope

> and healing. We can feel deep in our bones and muscles a strength

> to carry on when we have hope that things will turn out for the

best,

> if we just keep on keeping on. We also know the dread that pulls us

> down when we are sure we'll be defeated in trying to reach a

> goal. " What's the use? " we ask.

>

> THE NATURE AND COMPLEXITY OF HOPE

>

> What do we know about hope? The following are some observations.

>

> Hope exists within a realistic context of uncertainty. When we move

> ahead with plans for a vacation, we hope to enjoy ourselves,

although

> we are clearly aware that potential obstacles like the weather and

> airline strikes are beyond our control. A person who has hope in

the

> face of a life-threatening illness likewise moves forward with

quiet

> confidence. If the statistics for cancer patients indicate there is

> only a 10% probability of survival, they will approach life as

though

> those figures can apply to them.

>

> Hope is a crucial antidote to fear. The unknown that lies within a

> diagnosis of cancer raises many fears and anxieties. Unlike the

> person who denies the reality of the diagnosis in an effort to

avoid

> having to deal openly with frightening and unsettling emotions, a

> person with hope realizes that the future may not turn out as he or

> she would like and, nevertheless, chooses to believe the future is

> somehow benevolent. Such a person focuses on potential rather than

> limitation.

>

> The " meaning " and " purpose " of our lives is intertwined with hope.

As

> Jeanne Achterberg of the Saybrook Institute in San Francisco has

> suggested, hope is the " enduring feeling that life makes sense. "

When

> life makes sense, it can be transcended in the sense that one can

> rise above it psychologically and not be emotionally defeated by

it.

> It is possible that by taking such a position a person may actually

> live longer.

>

> What is hoped for changes during the course of illness. The

National

> Coalition for Cancer Survivorship calls this " the changing mosaic

of

> hope. " When symptoms force us to see the doctor for an examination,

> as we wait for the results we hope there won't be anything

seriously

> wrong -- certainly not cancer. After a diagnosis of cancer,

generally

> the first thing for which we hope is a complete cure. Later, after

> treatment, we may hope for an extended period of remission before

> cancer might recur or for control of symptoms for a long time. When

> cancer is in the advanced stage, there is still much to hope for:

> living to see a daughter graduate, energy to take a trip to some

> place we've always wanted to visit, a slow rate of deterioration,

> lessening of pain, having a peaceful, dignified death.

>

> Action requires hope. In order to plan for the future, to research

> the latest medical advances and to take part in decisions

concerning

> treatment options, a person needs the ability to imagine that his

or

> her efforts may be at least potentially successful.

>

> Hope permeates all dimensions of a person's life. People with hope

> have a greater sense of energy. Most of the time their mood is more

> likely to be up than down, despite obstacles. Because they feel

more

> confident, they ask more questions. They are also more persistent

and

> a busy, impatient doctor may not view them as " good " patients,

while

> more passive, and less hopeful, patients may be.

>

> There are many sources of hope. For some, hope comes from a belief

> that God cares for them. For others, hope arises from a belief that

> research can discover a cure. Others may believe their doctor knows

> best and put themselves in the hands of their medical team.

>

> Hope expects -- and needs -- reinforcement and external support.

> While hope can exist in the absence of uniform agreement that a

goal

> will be reached (in which case success may not need much hope

because

> the probability of achieving it may almost be assured), maintaining

> hope in the face of total opposition is extremely difficult. That

is

> why hopeful people are connected with other people and with the

> things they care about. They are thus able to draw strength from

> their families, their beliefs, their participation in what needs to

> be done toward reaching their goals, and in the medical procedure

> they choose. This is why it is important that family and friends

> understand their role in supporting the patient who wants to hope

for

> the best.

>

> DO YOU KNOW WHAT HOPE IS?

>

> The following poem appears on the website of Deidre van Gerven, who

> writes of her husband's slide into despair when given no hope by

the

> doctor who told him of his rare form of cancer. Since we're had

> this poem in our files for a long time, we've decided to share it

> with you just as she shares it with visitors to her site. [if you

> have trouble accessing the site, these instructions might help or

you

> can write her at deidre.vangerven@]

>

> Do You Know What Hope Is?

>

> It's magic and it's free

> It's not in a prescription

> It's not in an IV

>

> It punctuates out laughter

> It sparkles in our tears

> It simmers under sorrows

> And dissipates our fears

>

> Do you know what hope is?

>

> It's reaching past today

> It's dreaming of tomorrow

> It's trying a new way

>

> It's pushing past impossible

> It's pounding on the door

> It's questioning the answers

> It's always seeking more

>

> It's rumours of a breakthrough

> It's whispers of a cure

> A roller-coaster ride

> Of remedies unsure

>

> Do you know what hope is?

>

> It's candy for the soul,

> It's perfume for the spirit,

> To share it makes you whole

>

> ~Author Unknown~

>

>

>

> EXAMINING HOPE'S EFFECT ON THE BODY

>

> Although hope has been a component of healing since time began,

> science has no language to describe it. Until recently there was no

> research into why this quality of the human spirit seems so

entwined

> in the process of recovery. Perhaps this is because hope is not a

> pill the doctor can dispense. Your oncologist can't take an x-ray

or

> read a blood test to see if you have very little hope or a great

deal

> of it. There is not yet a statistically measurable mechanism by

> which we can know the degree to which hope is essential to healing.

>

> Only in the past few years have researchers begun to examine the

role

> hope (a function of the mind) plays in the course of a disease (a

mis-

> function of the body). One of those who has been interested in the

> biochemical connections between the brain and the body is Candace

> Pert, formerly at the National Institutes of Health and now at

> town University, who describes this communication system as

> the " psychosomatic network. " In her view, " emotions bridge the gap

> between mind and matter " and neuropeptides (found throughout the

> body) provide the information that underlies emotions.

>

> In October 1995 a conference called " A Question of Hope. " was held

in

> England. Clive Wood, MSc., DPhil, a British psychologist with a

long-

> term interest in mind-body connections reported on the conference

in

> Advances, The Journal of Mind-Body Health in the Spring, 1996,

> edition. He writes:

>

> " Studies show, she [Candace Pert] explained, that the immune

system's

> natural killer cells lose their function in individuals who are

> either helpless or hopeless. Conversely, she proposed, hope acts to

> boost immunity. The physiological and chemical mechanisms are in

> place to support this proposition, she asserted. The neuronal,

> hormonal, and immune systems of the body use all the same

> neuropeptides to communicate. The constant " cross talk " means that

> any one system readily influences the other. For example, the

> perception of pain depends on receptors at various levels of the

> nervous system, including the cortex. This molecular hierarchy

allows

> us to decide how we will interpret a particular pain sensation and

> where we will set our pain threshold. We can choose to interpret a

> pain as being beneficial, a " good pain, " a " pain of work " rather

than

> a manifestation of disease. And in so doing we can protect

ourselves

> from anxiety of despair. Such a process is at work, she believed,

in

> the ability of hope to boost immunity. "

>

>

>

> SUPPORTING HOPE

>

> Please Note: Although the following is written for those of you who

> are cancer patients, if you are the friend or caregiver for someone

> with cancer, these may give you an idea of how you can reinforce

hope

> for your loved one.

>

>

>

> Seek out cancer survivors.

> Learn how others have survived cancer or have lived fully despite

> their disease. The circumstances of these people's lives, as well

as

> their type and stage of cancer, may not be the same as yours, but

> when your own resolve falters, your can take hope and strength from

> knowing what they did in their struggle against cancer. See Cancer

> Survivors as part of your search.

>

> Develop rituals of hope.

> There are many ways in which you draw strength and hope from the

> ordinary events of life by turning them into " rituals of hope. " For

> example, if you usually go to the library every two weeks, you

could

> make your trip a " ritual. " Now when you go, select a book about

> something you would like to do or some place you want to visit when

> you recover your strength following treatment. As you leave the

> library, say to yourself something like, " I will become strong

again.

> I can make future plans. " You can also create special rituals that

> are designed to draw upon the healing strength that comes from

> connection with others. For examples of such rituals, there is an

> excellent book, Rituals of Healing: Using Imagery for Health and

> Wellness by Jeanne Achterberg, Barbara Dossey and Kolkmeier.

>

> Explore the meaning and purpose of your life.

> To the extent that hope resides in large part by recognizing the

> place you fit within the scheme of things, you can better discover

> the meaning of your life by looking at the whole of it. There are

> several ways you can do this:

>

> Write the story of your life in a journal. You are writing for your

> own purpose and need not worry that it sound good.

>

> Draw pictures of your life, allowing symbols and ideas to come

> naturally without criticizing your artistic ability. Only you need

> to see them.

>

> Tell your story to others. Discuss what life means to you, the

> purpose for which you have lived and intend to live in the future.

> Find someone who will really listen, who is interested in what you

> say.

>

> Focus on a healing image as often as you can.

> The images we hold in our mind's eye have great power to enhance or

> hinder our progress toward a goal. You don't need to practice

imagery

> and meditation on a regular basis, although that appears to be

> helpful for many people, but to learn how healing images reinforce

> hope, we suggest you read Why Imagery Techniques Work. If you have

an

> image you would like to share with others, contact CancerOnline.

>

> Use symbols and pictures to reinforce hope.

> An unopened flower in a small bud vase can remind you of hope. A

> picture of a solitary tree growing on a windswept hillside can

> illustrate courage and strength. Wherever you are, look around and

> see what can remind you of hope, courage and strength. You might

even

> make a project of collecting hope symbols.

>

> Use hopeful language.

> You can begin by refusing to call yourself a " cancer victim " but

> a " cancer survivor. " Victims are powerless to act and hope requires

> action. Of course, it may be difficult to see yourself as

> a " survivor, " but claiming that definition at any stage of your

> disease is " reality " : we all survive until we die. Also, you can

> refer to cancer as a " life-challenging " rather than a " life-

> threatening " disease. While cancer is definitely a serious illness,

> you may notice that you react differently to these terms. The

former

> opens the possibility of response, while the latter encourages a

> position of victimhood.

>

> Make plans.

> Plan a chemo-is-over or radiation-is-over party. Make plans for

next

> week, next month, next year, five years from now. People without

hope

> don't make plans.

>

> Get yourself a cheering section.

> Surround yourself with supportive friends and see as little as

> possible of those who are so overwhelmed by their own fear of

cancer

> that they are unable or unwilling to support your goals. It is

better

> to have a few friends who are always there for you than to

constantly

> brace yourself against those who are negative in word and action.

> (See Building Supportive Relationships.)

>

> Create a box or basket of hope, life and love.

> You might ask a friend to get a large box and help you decorate it

> with pictures of supportive family and friends and then place in it

> items that reinforce hope, such as poems, brochures of places you

> want to visit and stories of long-term survivors. A beautiful

basket

> can also work well.

>

> Share your hope with others.

> There are many ways in which hope can be encouraged and reinforced.

> We would like to hear how you have allowed hope to grow and change.

> Just contact CancerOnline.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>