Re: Mah baby's Gone! and what would YOU do? (#2)

[Guest guest]

> Oh ruthie, I can't imagine what it's like seeing your youngest off,

hope

> he's settled and happy. Enjoy the newspapers ( or similar)

> Curran

> Mum to 4 boys. Co-Chair, MVA, Valley cushion agent, homebirth

support

> and booking clerk Selby Rural NCT

> Region 7 Secretary

Waiting for the phonecall from Tavya and Dov that he got there

safely...

What would YOU do...? Our estranged and very obnoxious son Azariah

(25) came in tonight, without a word, went into Yeshaya's room and

started rifling it for something. When I asked him what he was

looking for, he said " nothing " , and was very rude when I pressed

him, then stormed out. Just a few days ago this son gave Yeshaya the

adoring " We are two brothers against the world " talk. He seems to

hate us. I even think he blames us for Uri's death, saying we drove

him to suicide. (Uri died in a car crash). Yeshaya always defends us

when the two brothers have a talk.

Would you tell Yeshaya what has been going on in his absence?

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

Yeshaya arrived safe and sound and is eating his second schnitzel at

Tavya and Dov's. His " special kosher " meal never materialised...the

travel agent gets a rocket from me tomorrow! He *always* forgets to

order it for us, I have to phone El Al myself..this time I left it to

him.

Yeshaya had a good flight only disturbed by the couple in front of

him who leaned their seats right back and spent the flight in a

passionate tussle, preventing him from seeing his seat-back video

screen!!!! Anyway, he seems happy enough. He's stuffing his face at

his big sister's and sleeping there tonight,(on living room couch,

they only have a two bedroom flat and Rafi sleeps in the other

bedroom!) tomorrow Dov will take him to the yeshivah and help him

settle in.

On the subject of Azariah and his rifling of Yeshaya's room, the

consensus of opinion (DH and Tavya The Wise) is not to tell

Yeshaya.. on the basis that what he doesn't know can't hurt him.

Tavya reckons Azariah was probably looking for playstation games, and

that makes sense. Yeshaya hasn't taken his playstation to yeshivah

obviously..but he wouldn't want anyone taking/borrowing his games,

hence the guilty defensiveness of his older bro.

Ruthie. (relieved her baby is safe and sound!)

[Guest guest]

> Waiting for the phonecall from Tavya and Dov that he got there

> safely...

>

> What would YOU do...? Our estranged and very obnoxious son Azariah

> (25) came in tonight, without a word, went into Yeshaya's room and

> started rifling it for something. When I asked him what he was

> looking for, he said " nothing " , and was very rude when I pressed

> him, then stormed out. Just a few days ago this son gave Yeshaya the

> adoring " We are two brothers against the world " talk. He seems to

> hate us. I even think he blames us for Uri's death, saying we drove

> him to suicide. (Uri died in a car crash). Yeshaya always defends us

> when the two brothers have a talk.

>

> Would you tell Yeshaya what has been going on in his absence?

>

> Ruthie

Yes I think you should mention it to Yeshaya - maybe he knows why Azariah

went in there? I hope you're not offended - but Azariah's behaviour does

sound a little extreme - has he actually said that he thinks you drove Uri

to his death? I'm quite worried by the picture you've painted of him since

you've been on the list - does he hold down a job? Has he ever seen a

psychiatrist or just his counsellor?

Hannah, 27

Mum to Bethany 7, Lawrence 5 1/2, Verity 3, Alfie 6 months

Visit me on the web at :-

http://hannahshome.20m.com

[Guest guest]

> Yes I think you should mention it to Yeshaya - maybe he knows why

Azariah

> went in there? I hope you're not offended - but Azariah's behaviour

does

> sound a little extreme - has he actually said that he thinks you

drove Uri

> to his death? I'm quite worried by the picture you've painted of him

since

> you've been on the list - does he hold down a job? Has he ever seen

a

> psychiatrist or just his counsellor?

>

> Hannah, 27

Not offended at all. We have a LOT of problems with Azariah. But yes

he holds down a good job and got a first in his degree. His anger and

irrational behaviour seems mainly aimed at his family. He gets on with

NONE of his siblings...well..DD1's family just about put up with him,

same for Avigayil and her lot, but they live in Israel and don't see

him much. Tammy and her lot gave up on him a while ago. Everyone

feels they have to walk on eggshells around him as he is so

irrational and given to explosive tempers. Basically he has

everything worked out in his head and it goes like this: He is the

only success story in the whole family; everyone else has been

irreparably damaged by us (ie his parents)..he was the only sensible

one who got out and who stands up to us. ie defies us, is estranged

from us, and considers himself independent of us, even tho he lives

rent free in a flat we own, drives a car we pay all the expenses of,

and we pay his counsellor whom he seems addicted to. We are in the

process of refusing to pay for her any more, have written to her in

May but she hasn't even given us the courtesy of a reply.

The only way we rationlise Azariah is that he too, like the sister in

law written about on this list, has a mental problem. Only he is

convinced he is the only sane one around here. He hasn't said to our

faces that he thinks we drove Uri to his death, but Yeshaya said he

told him this, in his last " brotherly talk " . Luckily Yeshaya is very

well adjusted and can sieve through Azariah's nutty rantings and find

the bits he actually wants to absorb. The rest he discards.

Yes his behaviour is constantly extreme. Thankfully most of the time

he keeps away from us and everyone in the family but we feel so

saddened that we feel glad about it.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

> Yes his behaviour is constantly extreme. Thankfully most of the time

> he keeps away from us and everyone in the family but we feel so

> saddened that we feel glad about it.

>

> Ruthie

What a horrid situation for all of you ((( Maybe he'll come to his senses

when/if he has a family of his own and understands a bit more about

parenting. Having a family of my own certainly helped me to understand and

come to terms with some of the unpleasantries of my childhood.

Hannah, 27

Mum to Bethany 7, Lawrence 5 1/2, Verity 3, Alfie 6 months

Visit me on the web at :-

http://hannahshome.20m.com