RE: The ramblings of a mad woman

[Guest guest]

I would love to sleep. But I think I have forgotten how. Hang in there. Come

and vent. Sorry you are feeling crappy!

Jacquie H

The ramblings of a mad woman

I know I've been quiet again. I can't figure out if I'm coming or going

lately. Feeling bitchy even though good stuff is happening ... then I

feel like I shouldn't be bitching, I should be focusing on the good

stuff.

I've noticed ... that every time Jordan makes some sort of progress,

after I'm done being pleased, I'm depressed and go through my " I hate

autism " routine again. Maybe because the achievements remind me again

and again of how far behind he is? Maybe because I'm celebrating such

little things? Or maybe it's the " down " that must come after an " up " .

I'm still sleeping like shit. Nothing much seems to help. Add to it,

that my allergies are in full force now ... welcome to Cleveland. It

was like this for me in Philadelphia and then I enjoyed 10 years of

relatively little allergies ... I had forgotten just how bad they can

be. I'm stuck up here though unless I want to go back to work full time

so we can afford a better house than this shithole we live in. So, I'll

deal with the allergies until at least Jordan & go to school full

time ... then maybe we can move somewhere I can breath during the

spring. Meanwhile, insomnia plus a completely clogged nose does not

make for restful nights and refreshed mornings.

My ankle is still being a challenge. It's not that it hurts all the

time. Actually the opposite ... it doesn't hurt so I do stuff and/or

take off the boot cast ... then the lump swells up and gets more sore.

It frustrates me to be not doing stuff when I feel like I could but know

I shouldn't. Worse is the mess that is gradually taking over my house.

I'm not suzy homemaker but still ... I can't stand it when it gets so

bad there's nowhere to set a glass on the kitchen counters and I can't

see the floor in the playroom to safely walk to my chair. Doesn't help

my mood to be in so much clutter. I'm constantly running to catch up

... at least that's how it feels.

I need a vacation. No kids, no husband, no house, no schools. I don't

even care where it is, because all I plan to do is sleep and lay around.

Maybe paint ... hahahaha, paint, what is that? I've forgotten. Maybe

write a bit ... haven't done that in ages either. Yes, a sleeping

vacation, that sounds lovely. Anyone want to join me?

Debbie with twins

- Jordan (ASD) 2.5yo

- (NT) 2.5yo

[Guest guest]

I dont know you very well..but please can I come? I'm not far away

(Columbus, Ohio) I am a quiet sleeper.

We can take off ASAP

Three boys +

One Hubby+

A full time job=

One wore out, bitchy woman!!

> I know I've been quiet again. I can't figure out if I'm coming or

going

> lately. Feeling bitchy even though good stuff is happening ...

then I

> feel like I shouldn't be bitching, I should be focusing on the good

> stuff.

>

> I've noticed ... that every time Jordan makes some sort of progress,

> after I'm done being pleased, I'm depressed and go through my " I

hate

> autism " routine again. Maybe because the achievements remind me

again

> and again of how far behind he is? Maybe because I'm celebrating

such

> little things? Or maybe it's the " down " that must come after

an " up " .

>

> I'm still sleeping like shit. Nothing much seems to help. Add to

it,

> that my allergies are in full force now ... welcome to Cleveland.

It

> was like this for me in Philadelphia and then I enjoyed 10 years of

> relatively little allergies ... I had forgotten just how bad they

can

> be. I'm stuck up here though unless I want to go back to work full

time

> so we can afford a better house than this shithole we live in. So,

I'll

> deal with the allergies until at least Jordan & go to school

full

> time ... then maybe we can move somewhere I can breath during the

> spring. Meanwhile, insomnia plus a completely clogged nose does not

> make for restful nights and refreshed mornings.

>

> My ankle is still being a challenge. It's not that it hurts all the

> time. Actually the opposite ... it doesn't hurt so I do stuff

and/or

> take off the boot cast ... then the lump swells up and gets more

sore.

> It frustrates me to be not doing stuff when I feel like I could but

know

> I shouldn't. Worse is the mess that is gradually taking over my

house.

> I'm not suzy homemaker but still ... I can't stand it when it gets

so

> bad there's nowhere to set a glass on the kitchen counters and I

can't

> see the floor in the playroom to safely walk to my chair. Doesn't

help

> my mood to be in so much clutter. I'm constantly running to catch

up

> ... at least that's how it feels.

>

> I need a vacation. No kids, no husband, no house, no schools. I

don't

> even care where it is, because all I plan to do is sleep and lay

around.

> Maybe paint ... hahahaha, paint, what is that? I've forgotten.

Maybe

> write a bit ... haven't done that in ages either. Yes, a sleeping

> vacation, that sounds lovely. Anyone want to join me?

>

> Debbie with twins

> - Jordan (ASD) 2.5yo

> - (NT) 2.5yo

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes Libby, come! The more the merrier! It'll be a big ole PA slumber

party vacation! :-)

Debbie with twins

- Jordan (ASD) 2.5yo

- (NT) 2.5yo

[Guest guest]

Okay , I have your name down for the PA Slumber Party Vacation.

;-) We'll book a hotel with a hot tub, masseur, pool ... should feel

good for your arthralgias right? Then nice soft comfy bed for sleeping.

Lots of sleeping. :-)

Thanks for the understanding. I have back problems too (thanks to a

fall down some stairs ... and compounded by pregnancy changes) ... there

are days when I'm tired of being in pain from it. So I understand the

pain thing all too well. It really sucks.

Debbie with twins

- Jordan (ASD) 2.5yo

- (NT) 2.5yo

[Guest guest]

You need some time ALONE, Debbie.

One night when was around 2 1/2, I actually left him with marc and

checked in to a hotel to spend the night by myself. Could you do such a

thing??? I checked in around 8pm, went home at noon the next day -- but

what a difference it made.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

That sounds just wonderful actually. I¡Çve fantasized about doing just

that. Maybe I should investigate actually doing it.

Honestly, I get quite a bit of time away from the kids but it¡Çs always

this limited time thing where I have X hours before I have to be back

looming over me. Or I am out & about running errands or have to be

somewhere ... it¡Çs go go go go with a deadline.

I have a painting workshop the first Saturday of May and I am SOOOO

looking forward to it. 9 to 4, all day, no kids, nowhere I have to run

to, just be there and paint. Ahhhhhh, bliss. (Lets hope its as good as

I¡Çm anticipating).

Debbie with twins

- Jordan (ASD) 2.5yo

- (NT) 2.5yo

Re: The ramblings of a mad woman

You need some time ALONE, Debbie.

One night when was around 2 1/2, I actually left him with marc and

checked in to a hotel to spend the night by myself. Could you do such a

thing??? I checked in around 8pm, went home at noon the next day -- but

what a difference it made.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>

> Honestly, I get quite a bit of time away from the kids but it¡Çs always

> this limited time thing where I have X hours before I have to be back

> looming over me. Or I am out & about running errands or have to be

> somewhere ... it¡Çs go go go go with a deadline.

Ugh I only just recently realized how much this bugs me. I only ever slip

away on the weekends during nap time or week nights after n is in bed

(Phoebe goes everywhere with me). And still it's like I always have to be

home " soon. " I realize that I am the mom and that a certain amount of

responsibility goes along with that, but it makes me feel so caged.

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal dx

Phoebe, 10 wks

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/23/03 6:33:48 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

weya@... writes:

>

> Whereabouts in Philly do you live??

Right down the street from Sesame Place. We're about 15 minutes outside of

Philly

[Guest guest]

I would love to join you on this sleeping vacation!

Jacquie H

RE: The ramblings of a mad woman

Thanks Jacquie.

Can't say I'm feeling totally crappy just ... not good either. It's

like limbo.

Come on the sleeping vacation with me!!!!!! (Ok, I can dream of one

can't I?)

Debbie with twins

- Jordan (ASD) 2.5yo

- (NT) 2.5yo