more blood and sleep

[Guest guest]

Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's exhausted and has been

sleeping almost all day <sigh>

I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just running on auto pilot. I

want him here for one more Christmas but it seems unlikely.

The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from being very busy to sleeping

to dark depression. I don't think there is enough Paxil out there for how I

feel.

But thanks for listening/reading

Narice

[Guest guest]

Narice,

My prayers and thoughts are with you. I know it's

tought but Phil has came a long way so don't ever give

up hope. It's a season for miracles! I appreciate

every Thanksgiving (my parents just celebrated their

37th wedding anniversary) and Xmas (my father will be

65 on Jan 1) that I have with him....just enjoy the

time as much as you can.

Phil seems like a very strong man...everyone battling

this disease is a Superhuman!!

Have a wonderful THanksgiving...and god bless you all.

Love and hugs,

Nickie

--- flipper759@... wrote:

>

>

> Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's

> exhausted and has been

> sleeping almost all day <sigh>

> I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just

> running on auto pilot. I

> want him here for one more Christmas but it seems

> unlikely.

>

> The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from

> being very busy to sleeping

> to dark depression. I don't think there is enough

> Paxil out there for how I

> feel.

>

> But thanks for listening/reading

> Narice

>

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

__________________________________

Yahoo! Music Unlimited

Access over 1 million songs. Try it free.

http://music.yahoo.com/unlimited/

[Guest guest]

((((((((Narice)))))))))))))))))

I dont know what to say hun to help ease your fear/pain/ frustration/grief.

But please know we are praying for yall

Deb

flipper759@... wrote:

Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's exhausted and has been

sleeping almost all day <sigh>

I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just running on auto pilot. I

want him here for one more Christmas but it seems unlikely.

The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from being very busy to sleeping

to dark depression. I don't think there is enough Paxil out there for how I

feel.

But thanks for listening/reading

Narice

[Guest guest]

Narice I wish I had some magic words to ease the pain for both of you. I just

don't know anything to say but am praying for you.

Hil

flipper759@... wrote:

Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's exhausted and has been

sleeping almost all day <sigh>

I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just running on auto pilot. I

want him here for one more Christmas but it seems unlikely.

The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from being very busy to sleeping

to dark depression. I don't think there is enough Paxil out there for how I

feel.

But thanks for listening/reading

Narice

[Guest guest]

Narice,

How scary all of this is for you and the boys. I hope they are talking with

Phil.

Today we are suppose to give Thanks - it is a test of faith to say the least.

Know that you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers daily. Remember to

take care of yourself along the way! We love you. ~~ donna

flipper759@... wrote:

Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's exhausted and has been

sleeping almost all day <sigh>

I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just running on auto pilot. I

want him here for one more Christmas but it seems unlikely.

The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from being very busy to sleeping

to dark depression. I don't think there is enough Paxil out there for how I

feel.

But thanks for listening/reading

Narice

[Guest guest]

It breaks my heart to know what you and your family are going through. I wish I

had some magical thing to say to make you feel better, but I don't. No one does.

I will pray for you all. I know it is taking a toll on you right now, but take

care of yourself. You will need all of your strength.

Pat

flipper759@... wrote:

Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's exhausted and has been

sleeping almost all day <sigh>

I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just running on auto pilot. I

want him here for one more Christmas but it seems unlikely.

The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from being very busy to sleeping

to dark depression. I don't think there is enough Paxil out there for how I

feel.

But thanks for listening/reading

Narice

[Guest guest]

Dear Narice and Donelle,

Sometimes, I feel like I want to say so many things, but when I start writing

I have no more words. I want to encourage you, but I feel so helpless.

Sometimes, when I read your e-mails I feel like watching a real time programme.

Two lives that little by little, are fading away. I am so far away from you and

yet your lives enter my house every day. I percieve two women fighting every day

and trying to keep sane. Ocasionally, they seem to be at lost. They let

themselves go and cry in despair. I wish I could do something, but again I feel

of no use.

Being part of this group has taught me so much. It made me much stronger,

tuffer. You two, Narice and Donelle, are my examples. I am learning from you,

how hard it is to say good bye, to the person you love so much. Between me and

my husband, I really don't know, who will go first, but I know it is going to be

an dreadful experience on either one. Knowing that you have to go for ever, must

be so umberable. Knowing that you will never see that person again, it makes you

loose your mind.

Narice and Donelle, I am so sorry, I can only offer you my prayers, so the two

of you will continue to be strong and keep on going.

love,

lydia

flipper759@... wrote:

Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's exhausted and has been

sleeping almost all day <sigh>

I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just running on auto pilot. I

want him here for one more Christmas but it seems unlikely.

The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from being very busy to sleeping

to dark depression. I don't think there is enough Paxil out there for how I

feel.

But thanks for listening/reading

Narice

[Guest guest]

Narice, My heart is bleeding for you. Just wish I knew how to make

this better. God, how I wish so much YOU would make cancer go away so

no one has to suffer with it. Love, Ingrid

>

>

>

> Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's exhausted and has

been

> sleeping almost all day <sigh>

> I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just running on auto

pilot. I

> want him here for one more Christmas but it seems unlikely.

>

> The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from being very busy

to sleeping

> to dark depression. I don't think there is enough Paxil out there

for how I

> feel.

>

> But thanks for listening/reading

> Narice

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Narice: we are always here to listen and read. Nothing you will do in the

future is as hard as what you are going through right now.

I know what it is to watch your loved one literally dissolve before your

eyes. Stay strong the Lord is by your side every step of the way,

Hang on to HIM and you will get through this. Big HUGS and Prayers Jolene

more blood and sleep

Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's exhausted and has been

sleeping almost all day <sigh>

I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just running on auto pilot. I

want him here for one more Christmas but it seems unlikely.

The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from being very busy to

sleeping

to dark depression. I don't think there is enough Paxil out there for how I

feel.

But thanks for listening/reading

Narice

[Guest guest]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Larry and Janet

flipper759@... wrote:

Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's exhausted and has been

sleeping almost all day <sigh>

I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just running on auto pilot. I

want him here for one more Christmas but it seems unlikely.

The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from being very busy to sleeping

to dark depression. I don't think there is enough Paxil out there for how I

feel.

But thanks for listening/reading

Narice

[Guest guest]

Narice,

First, here's a big

((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))). I do understand

what you're feeling, it's been just over a year now

that I was in that same place. I know how it hurts and

if I could take away your pain I surely would for this

is one of the most difficult things you will ever do

in your entire life. Telling the man you love that it

is okay for him to leave you hurts beyond belief, I

will not try to kid you. But, because I have been

through it, I also know that God will take over and

get you through this time. I can't explain it, it is

like magic. I know that you have a very strong faith

in God, Narice, so let Him take care of you and lead

you through this experience.

Spend every moment that you can with Phil and cherish

every minute, the tenderness, the sharing of your

feelings during this time will give you the strength

to go on later. Talk with the boys. My boys were also

in denial mode almost til the end but they each had

their 'one to one' conversation with their Dad during

those last few days, and that was very important for

them to say their goodbyes in their own way. They are

much stronger than you think and they will surprise

you in the months to come. You will discover what

wonderful young men you and Phil have raised.

Narice, you are exhausted physically and mentally from

the battle of this disease. I felt the same way. One

of my most precious memories of my husband is the day

I was exhausted to the point of tears. I had literally

asked God to please end his suffering because I

couldn't take any more. I went to our bedroom, put our

favorite CD on and crawled into bed beside him and

went to sleep. It was so peaceful and I slept for a

couple hours. He woke me with the words " I love you " .

They turned out to be the last comprehensible words he

said as he went into a coma and died later that

evening. But I wouldn't trade that memory for the

world. It has given me the will and strength to go on

with life. So, Narice, my friend, if you are tired,

cuddle up and rest, if you feel like crying, cry. It

will not hurt your sons to see you cry because you

love their father,rather, it will be a precious memory

of the love their parents had for each other.

You have my personal email and my phone number, don't

hesitate to use them any time you wish.

Hugs & prayers

H

--- flipper759@... wrote:

>

>

> Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's

> exhausted and has been

> sleeping almost all day <sigh>

> I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just

> running on auto pilot. I

> want him here for one more Christmas but it seems

> unlikely.

>

> The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from

> being very busy to sleeping

> to dark depression. I don't think there is enough

> Paxil out there for how I

> feel.

>

> But thanks for listening/reading

> Narice

>

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

__________________________________

Yahoo! Music Unlimited

Access over 1 million songs. Try it free.

http://music.yahoo.com/unlimited/

[Guest guest]

Dear Narice, my thoughts and prayers are with you and Phil and your boys. May

God give you strength. Take care.

~Deb from KS

flipper759@... wrote:

Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's exhausted and has been

sleeping almost all day <sigh>

I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just running on auto pilot. I

want him here for one more Christmas but it seems unlikely.

The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from being very busy to sleeping

to dark depression. I don't think there is enough Paxil out there for how I

feel.

But thanks for listening/reading

Narice

---------------------------------

Yahoo! Personals

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[Guest guest]

Dear God, what Ingrid said, Amen to that.

~Deb from KS

Ingrid Lowe wrote:

God, how I wish so much YOU would make cancer go away so no one has to suffer

with it. Love, Ingrid

---------------------------------

Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free.

[Guest guest]

Dear Narice,

I am sending you lot's of love and prayers from Istanbul.

While I cannot write often- I do read constantly & try to send

poistive vibes.

Words fail me as they do everyone else...but please know that you

are constantly on my mind. We hava a Turkish saying that consoles me

at times like this- the same sentiment that echoes through all the

posts : Trust God who WILL give you the strenghth.

Reading 's post brought tears to my eyes...

One does have to try to see the beauty in every situation.

You are not alone. Many hugs.

Leyla

Hugs

>

>

>

> Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's exhausted and has

been

> sleeping almost all day <sigh>

> I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just running on auto

pilot. I

> want him here for one more Christmas but it seems unlikely.

>

> The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from being very busy

to sleeping

> to dark depression. I don't think there is enough Paxil out there

for how I

> feel.

>

> But thanks for listening/reading

> Narice

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

As they say, when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. You

must be completely exhausted. The boys have to deal with it in their own way,

but it's difficult to watch them having such a hard time too, isn't it.

Continued prayers and hugs for all of you, wish there was more I could say or

do.

flipper759@... wrote:

Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's exhausted and has been

sleeping almost all day <sigh>

I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just running on auto pilot. I

want him here for one more Christmas but it seems unlikely.

The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from being very busy to sleeping

to dark depression. I don't think there is enough Paxil out there for how I

feel.

But thanks for listening/reading

Narice

[Guest guest]

Narice,

I am very sorry for what you are going through.

Please don't try to keep things normal. Your efforts

to cook, clean, maintain order, and keep everyone

informed are making it hard on you. Let go of

maintaining order and just react to the moment. Phil

is as comfortable as they can make him and that is

more important than his longevity now. Remember to

exhale.

Len

--- flipper759@... wrote:

---------------------------------

Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's

exhausted and has been

sleeping almost all day <sigh>

I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just

running on auto pilot. I

want him here for one more Christmas but it seems

unlikely.

The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from being

very busy to sleeping

to dark depression. I don't think there is enough

Paxil out there for how I

feel.

But thanks for listening/reading

Narice

[Guest guest]

Narice,

I wish there were some way for me to ease your pain. I have

experienced your dark night of the soul; it is terrifying and

depressing. We go on because we must. That's not very comforting

or profound, just true.

May God carry you and Phil now.

Sharon

>

>

>

> Phil passed more blood just before dinner. He's exhausted and has

been

> sleeping almost all day <sigh>

> I'm so scared how can I do this? I think I'm just running on auto

pilot. I

> want him here for one more Christmas but it seems unlikely.

>

> The boys are in avoidance mode. I fluctuate from being very busy

to sleeping

> to dark depression. I don't think there is enough Paxil out there

for how I

> feel.

>

> But thanks for listening/reading

> Narice

>

>

>

>

>