Narice and Donelle

November 25, 2005

My dear friends,

My heart is aching so much for the two of you. It was exactly this

time last year that started having such a hard time breathing.

It went from bad to worse from that time on.

As you might remember he died on June 11th. We had to go thru

Fathers Day, our aniversary in July, his birthday in August after he

died. It was hard but for some reason Thanksgiving and the upcoming

Christmas seems to be the hardest.

I sat down and wrote a long letter to the two of you on Tuesday but

for some reason it disappeared from my screen and I could not

retrieve it.

I don't know what to tell you about the kids because my two are in

their early 40's and are still in denial.

We all have this crazy feeling that he is going to walk in one day

from his workshop and everything is going to be OK again. I did not

get out of my PJ's on Thanksgiving all day. My daughter came over

and cooked a ham and all the fixings but we just went thru the

motions.

Today, my Son and his Wife had Thanksgiving for the family and it

was just not the same. I brought up 's name a couple of times

and you could just see them freeze up. I hope that one day things

will return back to normal.

I have had this big open spot in my heart since he died and so I got

dressed Wednesday and went to the hospital. I went to every floor

of the hospital and visited with the nurses. I was amazed that I

found one on every floor that he had been on and they recognized me

right away. I think he spent time on each floor except for

Maternity. Then I went to the Records room and sat and read about

his last week on earth. I actually got a few laughs reading the

records. His wit never went away, even while he was dying.

I think I needed to see what they did for him the morning that he

died. I was supposed to pick him up that morning and bring him

home. After reading what all they did to keep him alive I think I

have put closure to the hole in my heart. It was unbelievable the

things that they did in a short 15min period.

You know I never left his side in five years and he died without me

being there. I have been told God did me a favor because I did not

witness what went on. I know they are right but it still tears me

up not being there.

If I can just make it thru Christmas, I have a plan in mind. I am

going to do volunteer work at Cancer Therapy and Research. I also

want to put together a information sheet for all the Colorectal

surgeons in San to give to their colostomy patients. We

have some really great surgeons here but they lack in info to their

colostomy patients. I think this was the scariest part of our five

year ride with colon cancer. If it were not for the UOA site we

would have had a very hard time figuring things out.

Donelle and Narice, you are in for the ride of your life. BUT, the

two of you are very strong individuals and spouces. God will give

you the courage and strength to get thru this. Be there for your

guys and let them know you love them and that you will be alright.

I had written a Eulogy for and could not read it without

crying. On the day of his funeral I handed a copy to the minister

and told him I wanted to read it but did not think I could make it

thru the end. He told me he would be right next to me and give it a

try. God must have been sitting on my shoulder because I read the

whole thing. My 4 Grandkids read " In the Garden " right before I

gave the Eulogy. My kids typed theirs and said there was no way

they could read it. Our good friend at the funeral home said no

problem, he copied theirs on to a nice piece of parchment paper and

put them at the front of the chapel. It was amazing for me to read

what an impression their Dad had made on their lives.

I gave them all of our pictures and they made a picture board with

events that stood out to them. The grandkids even had made their

own picture board and wrote a letter to Pop Pop. My daughter got on

her computer and scanned pictures of him from the day he was born

until he had died.

We were told afterwards that if funerals could be nice, then this

was one they would never forget. He was the best husband and dad a

family could ask for.

I have tried to read his Eulogy after his funeral and could not do

it. I guess the point I am trying to get across is that even though

this is going to be hard you two will get thru it.

Like Hildebrand said to you, if you need me, don't hesitate to

call or email me. We are a family here and that is what family is

all about.

Your friend,

Joyce

November 25, 2005

Joyce many thanks for your words and memories.

Narice

In a message dated 11/25/2005 10:45:55 PM Eastern Standard Time,

joybrown@... writes: