Re: Worst Ex-Husband Award Is Now Accepting Candidates

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/24/03 8:20:47 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

jorghahaq@... writes:

> He spent two weeks stalking me after that. At one point through all this he

> had even held a gun to my head and threatened to kill me.

I don't know girls we may have a new winner over Lou.

[Guest guest]

oh oh me me...My sister's ex is a real winner.....

Stayed out drinking all weekend and then came home and told my sister that he

had hit a 7 yr old girl on her bike and that he had spend the weekend sitting

with the parents at the hospital while they waited to see if their daughter

would live.........

10 minutes before his son's 5th birthday, he tells my sister that he was walking

to the store to get something (1/2 block) and doesn't come back until very

late...Son cries during party....Ex tells my sister that she is crazy, son

didn't even notice that I was gone (Ex thought all the company had left, I was

in the bathroom and heard the whole thing...told my sister that he started

feeling ill walking to the store so he decided not to come back so the guests

wouldn't get ill)

Worst Ex-Husband Award Is Now Accepting Candidates

> Oh goody! Can I submit my sister's ex?? PLEASE??? I think he and Lou

> sound like twins.

>

Please. No one else has responded to this interesting idea. I know that BJ

and probably have a couple of good candidates. Others surely do too!

Remember, boyfriends do count too.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> Sorry, as stupid as Jeff has been at times I don't think he is

quite as bad as Lou. >

LOL...same here. Some of the horror stories I've read here make me

incredibly grateful to only have the occasional garden variety male-

type jerkiness going on...

Raena (occasional female-type jerk)

[Guest guest]

Keep in mind this is the short short version. That is what is really sad

about it all.

Georga

Re: Worst Ex-Husband Award Is Now Accepting

Candidates

>

> > Sorry, as stupid as Jeff has been at times I don't think he is

> quite as bad as Lou. >

>

> LOL...same here. Some of the horror stories I've read here make me

> incredibly grateful to only have the occasional garden variety male-

> type jerkiness going on...

>

> Raena (occasional female-type jerk)

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry you went through all that Georga.

Maggie

________________________________________________________________

The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand!

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[Guest guest]

Yea, so am I. LOL!

I can joke about it mostly now.

However, I did learn a couple things, mainly what sort of guy I didn't want

to end up with.

Georga

Re: Re: Worst Ex-Husband Award Is Now Accepting

Candidates

> I'm sorry you went through all that Georga.

>

> Maggie

>

> ________________________________________________________________

> The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand!

> Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER!

> Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/25/03 8:51:48 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

four_eyes1972@... writes:

> Now if I were to see my ex, I'd thank him for dumping me. Then I'd let my

> husband kick his ass....

>

>

lol! Sounds very,very familiar...lol

The Grammas & Keion

[Guest guest]

>

>

> OMG Georga. I think your ex and Lou are the best candidates for this

> award. Wow.

>

Oh, once we added the boyfriends, Lou was clearly out of the running. If we

stuck to husbands (which he technically still is, alas) he might do better,

and if we stuck to current husbands, as opposed to ex-husbands, well, then I

think he would win indeed!

Salli

[Guest guest]

Uh-oh ..

Looks like Steve is pulling into the lead.

Sissi

[Guest guest]

I dunno...

If my ex showed up I have a bat'leth that I would shove up his ass. LOL!

wouldn't get a chance to kick his ass.

This reminds me of something funny said. He is working this stupid

midnight shift until the end of next month and I told him he is supposed to

be home at night to be the protecter of the family and all. His comment was

" Protecter? Me? Hell, you are the one with the bat'leth. " LOL!!

Georga

Re: Re: Worst Ex-Husband Award Is Now Accepting

Candidates

> In a message dated 4/25/03 8:51:48 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

> four_eyes1972@... writes:

>

>

> > Now if I were to see my ex, I'd thank him for dumping me. Then I'd let

my

> > husband kick his ass....

> >

> >

>

> lol! Sounds very,very familiar...lol

>

> The Grammas & Keion

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

LOL.. thanks Maggie. I look at it this way tho, if I hadn't gone

thru all that, I would not have met my current husband and have my

one year old son now... so its all good in in the end!

> I'll join your husband in kicking his ass! I'm sorry you went

through

> all that.

>

> Maggie

>

> ________________________________________________________________

> The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand!

> Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER!

> Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today!

[Guest guest]

Now if I were to see my ex, I'd thank him for dumping me. Then

I'd let my husband kick his ass....

Sounds like a winning idea! Jerk!

Sue

[Guest guest]

> oh oh me me...My sister's ex is a real winner.....

>

> Stayed out drinking all weekend and then came home and told my

sister that he had hit a 7 yr old girl on her bike and that he had

spend the weekend sitting with the parents at the hospital while they

waited to see if their daughter would live.........

>

That's pretty damned bad. I don't know if I can top it or not.

My sister's ex has yet to acknowledge his youngest son's birthday. He

turned 15 this March. He doesn't deny paternity he just doesn't

acknowledge the child exists because he " doesn't like him. "

Out of the 15 years they were married he worked a total of 7. He had

so much time off without pay that they couldn't afford to pay the

house payment. What does he do? He decides he wants to be a body

builder and buys lots of protein drinks from the health food store

(read: outrageously expensive) with his credit card. My sister is

counting every penny trying to keep the house and he takes the credit

card and goes and buys himself steak dinners at a restaurant to help

him " bulk up " .

Sis is working a full-time job and going to school. They can't afford

a sitter but she can't leave the kids with him because she would come

home after 8 hours of work and the kids would still have the same

diaper on! When they got older and didn't take bottles he would fix

food for himself but not them. Sis would leave a bowl of cereal for

each of them on the counter and 3 small glasses of milk so they could

fix their own breakfast. He wouldn't even pour the milk for them.

After almost 12 years of this crap, she started working 3 jobs to buy

a new house. For 2 1/2 years they lived with my parents while she did

this. He worked 4 months during that time. She got the mortgage in

her name alone and told him he wasn't moving in with her and the

kids. He tried to choke her to death. She had bruises all over her

neck. He got thrown in jail. He called me collect and told me it was

her fault. She cheated him out of a house he worked so hard for. He

expected me to bail him out because he'd " found God. " yeah right.

When the divorce was final she ended up with a $4000 credit card

bill. He filled out the form and forged her name. She had no idea he

had the card at all. The judge told her that since they were married

at the time she was finacially responsible.

And the reason I think he sounds like Lou is because he honestly

doesn't understand why he got thrown in jail. It's not his fault. All

the money problems aren't his fault either. He needed the satellite,

the shopsmith, the 63 Mustang, etc. etc. etc.... After all,

they " gave " him a credit card. They shouldn't have done that if he

couldn't afford to make the payments.

Tina

[Guest guest]

I knew there had to be someone worse than my ex (husband)! Or at

least equal. I'm positive I'd have had more 'great times ha' had I

stayed more than a year.

Shakes head..why on earth did we DO this to ourselves! Oh that's

right..we LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED them. Believe it or not...there WERE

some really great times with my ex. They were few and far between

but it was like this huge rollercoaster. The good times were great,

and the bad times were just horrid. And I really did think if I

loved him and he loved me, it'd all work out.

My advice to people facing this now. " you can love until you're blue

in the face (in my case, I was literally blue in the face...bruised),

but it won't make a marriage work. A marriage must be based on

mutual respect, trust, communication and no substance abuse issues or

codependency. "

There were very good things that came out of my marriage.

1. I learned exactly what I didn't want and did want in a husband,

and to not settle for less than what I found acceptable. I learned

to be very picky...and never expected anyone to change for me.

2. I had a drinking problem at the time...a mild one. I earned a

great distain for drunks and kept myself sober, even if at the time

it was only because SOMEBODY had to be responsible. Had I been

using, I'm sure I'd have been in jail right along with him...or dead.

3 I learned a bad relationship is NEVER EVER EVER better than being

alone. I learned to like myself quite a bit, and actually became

accustomed to being single.

> > oh oh me me...My sister's ex is a real winner.....

> >

> > Stayed out drinking all weekend and then came home and told my

> sister that he had hit a 7 yr old girl on her bike and that he had

> spend the weekend sitting with the parents at the hospital while

they

> waited to see if their daughter would live.........

> >

>

> That's pretty damned bad. I don't know if I can top it or not.

>

> My sister's ex has yet to acknowledge his youngest son's birthday.

He

> turned 15 this March. He doesn't deny paternity he just doesn't

> acknowledge the child exists because he " doesn't like him. "

>

> Out of the 15 years they were married he worked a total of 7. He

had

> so much time off without pay that they couldn't afford to pay the

> house payment. What does he do? He decides he wants to be a body

> builder and buys lots of protein drinks from the health food store

> (read: outrageously expensive) with his credit card. My sister is

> counting every penny trying to keep the house and he takes the

credit

> card and goes and buys himself steak dinners at a restaurant to

help

> him " bulk up " .

>

> Sis is working a full-time job and going to school. They can't

afford

> a sitter but she can't leave the kids with him because she would

come

> home after 8 hours of work and the kids would still have the same

> diaper on! When they got older and didn't take bottles he would fix

> food for himself but not them. Sis would leave a bowl of cereal for

> each of them on the counter and 3 small glasses of milk so they

could

> fix their own breakfast. He wouldn't even pour the milk for them.

>

> After almost 12 years of this crap, she started working 3 jobs to

buy

> a new house. For 2 1/2 years they lived with my parents while she

did

> this. He worked 4 months during that time. She got the mortgage in

> her name alone and told him he wasn't moving in with her and the

> kids. He tried to choke her to death. She had bruises all over her

> neck. He got thrown in jail. He called me collect and told me it

was

> her fault. She cheated him out of a house he worked so hard for. He

> expected me to bail him out because he'd " found God. " yeah right.

>

> When the divorce was final she ended up with a $4000 credit card

> bill. He filled out the form and forged her name. She had no idea

he

> had the card at all. The judge told her that since they were

married

> at the time she was finacially responsible.

>

>

> And the reason I think he sounds like Lou is because he honestly

> doesn't understand why he got thrown in jail. It's not his fault.

All

> the money problems aren't his fault either. He needed the

satellite,

> the shopsmith, the 63 Mustang, etc. etc. etc.... After all,

> they " gave " him a credit card. They shouldn't have done that if he

> couldn't afford to make the payments.

>

>

> Tina

[Guest guest]

" I learned a bad relationship is NEVER EVER EVER better than being

> alone. I learned to like myself quite a bit, and actually became

> accustomed to being single. "

, THIS was the defining revelation for me. I learned that

being alone was much better than being with him and putting up with

his infidelities and emotional abuse. I could do it on my own and be

just fine. Took me 12 years to figure it out, but I finally did.

Thank God! Some of us just are slow learners, I guess. I just had no

faith in myself and my abilities. Leggs

[Guest guest]

Took me 12 years to figure it out, but I finally did.

> Thank God! Some of us just are slow learners, I guess. I just had

no

> faith in myself and my abilities. Leggs

I know how that is Leggs, it took me 7 long years myself..

the screaming, throwing things, making me think

that everything was " my " fault, not coming home till way

after midnight night after night and expecting

dinner to be waiting for him, and having that pit

in my stomach, when i heard his truck pull up, wondering

what kind of mood he was gonna be in...and EVERY time he

would come home that late, he had to make so much noise..

and wake up the kids...rachelle didn't have her own room,

so her crib was in the living room, and the bedrooms were

too small to share, so he'd come home and start talking

to rachelle while she was sleeping...not in a whisper..

but LOUD talking..and i would plead with him, to just

go to sleep...and then the fight would start...I don't

know why he had to do that...so then me and girls would

be up most of the night, and he would go and pass out..

and he'd wake up whenever he felt like it, and wake up

pissed cause the girls were being too LOUD...FN jerk!!!!

He has a drinking/drug problem, but he doesn't think he

does..he's been in jail a few times...a couple time by

me, but then took him back (stupid!!!)I left him when rachelle

was about 10months old..i just couldnt handle it anymore,

taking care of the baby, and all of jenna's problems...and

having HIM to deal with on top of everything else..

there is so much to my story, it would be way to long to

write...But i finally left and am soooo glad i did..I live

upstairs in an apartment now, and sometimes at night, i'll

hear a truck pull up and then someone comes up the stairs (to

go to their own apartment) and i STILL get that pit in my

stomach that its him, and i have to wake myself up really good

to realize its not him, that we are safe and alone....I really,

really hate that...im hoping someday that feeling goes away.

It's very hard being a single mom, but its sooo much better than

what it was....I still have alot of self-esteem issues myself,

cause he really play with my head with those. So, im still looking

to find out who " I " am...but too busy with the kids for that

right now...but im sure one day, it will come. Its gonna take

a long time to find " trust " in anyone again...with all this

baggage i have...

nancy...who didn't mean for this to become so long...

single mom to:

joshua 15 (nt)

jenna 6 (autism, ocd)

rachelle 2

[Guest guest]

LOL....It cracks me up. Jeff and I are lucky to ever be alone for more than 15

minutes! and if we are so lucky and the kids are asleep then so am I! And

getting a babysitter is crazy. Who would do that for me on a weekly basis? As

for staying in and watching a movie.....we do that and get interupted a million

times during the movie. But hey I don't live the fairytale life. Heck I dont

even live the normal life.

Jacquie H

Re: Re: Worst Ex-Husband Award Is Now Accepting

Candidates

Irony: the Flylady list is going on and on right now about the rejuvenating

powers of a clean home and a date night, and how they will solve your

marriage woes.

Jeex, if only someone had told you that sooner, hmmm?

She's a good housecleaner, but the bitch is delusional.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Irony: the Flylady list is going on and on right now about the rejuvenating

powers of a clean home and a date night, and how they will solve your

marriage woes.

Jeex, if only someone had told you that sooner, hmmm?

She's a good housecleaner, but the bitch is delusional.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> Wow Tina, he sounds like a real jerk!! Now that they are divorced,

does he see the children or pay support?

>

The kids are 18, 16, and 15. They won't go over to his house unless

they have to. Which is usually about every six months when he guilts

them into it. He changes jobs about every 2 months so that Children's

Services can't find him to collect support.

Oh, did I mention that he let his first wife's second husband adopt

his first two kids so he wouldn't have to pay child support?

> >>Heexpected me to bail him out because he'd " found God. " yeah

right.<< Didn't know God was lost LOL. I hate when people think that

excuses everything!!

>

Well the real problem for me was that he kept saying God told him

that he and my sister belonged together and that I had to help talk

her into staying with him because God said they had to stay married.

I asked him if God told him to try to choke her to death too. He said

that was before he found God. (I didn't know he was lost either. LOL)

So I asked what if she doesn't want to reconcile. He just kept saying

she had to because God said so. Um, yeah. He's mentally

stable...right...

Tina

[Guest guest]

and having that pit

> in my stomach, when i heard his truck pull up, wondering

> what kind of mood he was gonna be in.

OH the pit in the stomach..I remember that well! At 3 PM (when he

did work) I just remember looking up at the clock and the smile just

vanishing from my face. I even have a picture of me that he took

when we were fighting (he thought it was cute) that epitomized the

feeling

> write...But i finally left and am soooo glad i did..I live

> upstairs in an apartment now, and sometimes at night, i'll

> hear a truck pull up and then someone comes up the stairs (to

> go to their own apartment) and i STILL get that pit in my

> stomach that its him,

after 10 years, I still worry that he might come back sometimes. He

had told me once, " I'll get you when you never expect it " But it's a

lot

I still have alot of self-esteem issues myself,

> cause he really play with my head with those. So, im still looking

> to find out who " I " am. Its gonna take

> a long time to find " trust " in anyone again...with all this

> baggage i have...

I so hope you get some kind of counseling. And as long as you keep

working on yourself, you're gonna get there someday just like me and

others have. I have a marriage I only thought was possible for other

people now. I say I have the perfect marriage...but my definition of

perfect means NORMAL marital issues...we very rarely argue.

There are just too many women who jump from one bad relationship

another without ever working on themselves to find out why they keep

chosing these men then working to correct it.

A lot of times you'll hear me say why WE allowed this....It's not

that I'm saying the abuse was ever our faults...NO! But we have a

choice to stay, and we have a choice to choose better partners. It's

just getting to the mindset that it IS our choice...so hard, yet so

simple.

, you should be proud of yourself. You're doing great, and

you've made it through. This phase is the best part...finding

yourself. You can do it! I have faith!

[Guest guest]

> I still have alot of self-esteem issues myself,

> cause he really play with my head with those. So, im still looking

> to find out who " I " am...but too busy with the kids for that

> right now...but im sure one day, it will come. Its gonna take

> a long time to find " trust " in anyone again...with all this

> baggage i have...

>

This always made me so mad when I watched my sister put up with the

shit she dealt with. Her ex used her lack of self-esteem to control

her. All abusers do. They make you doubt yourself and your worth.

Because if you're not worth anything then you'll be greatful to have

them in your life. You " Owe " your existence and self-value to them.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

We were out shopping one day and on our way out of the store my

sister saw a little nightie that she liked and she pointed it out to

me. Her ex said, " That'd look like shit on you but your sister would

fill it out nice. "

Yep. Ripped his head off right there. Which of course he took out on

my sister after I left. Asshole. He always hated me because I

wouldn't put up with his shit. Shortly after he gave his first 2 kids

up for adoption he was bragging about how many kids he had. As if

that somehow made him a " real " man. I told him that slugs have sex

and reproduce.

, you are worth way more than he ever gave you credit for. So

are the other ladies on this list who've been through this crap. All

of you deserve so much better than this and I'm glad some of you have

found it.

(((((Hugs to everyone))))))

Tina

[Guest guest]

, you should be proud of yourself. You're doing great, and

> you've made it through. This phase is the best part...finding

> yourself. You can do it! I have faith!

>

>

Thank you so much, ...

yea, i think (hope,pray) that the worst of

it is behind me....tho, lately, so much shit

has gone wrong, i keep wondering, WHEN is it gonna

get better...During this past christmas, he emailed

me this letter, and told me he still loved me and

bla bla bla....and it really affected me...it gave

my heart alittle leap, a good leap...and then the

next day, he was a totally shit again(i think he

was drunk when he wrote it, cause it came around 1AM,

so im pretty sure of that)..SO, after that,

which im kind of glad happen, I know now, that he is

never gonna change, and that we will not ever be back

together. I was very upset with myself, for even thinking

that way about him. (he can be too damm charming at times)

I really thought long and hard about it, and really decided

my life is so much better now, than it was. I can't EVER

go back to that...<shudder>

rambling again....

im really glad for you too, , that you found your

self a " good man " !!!!

nancy

[Guest guest]

, you are worth way more than he ever gave you credit for. So

> are the other ladies on this list who've been through this crap.

All

> of you deserve so much better than this and I'm glad some of you

have

> found it.

>

> (((((Hugs to everyone))))))

>

> Tina

Thank you so much Tina...

yep, my ex was just like that...he would have

his workers over to the house sometimes, for ME

to make them lunch (he owns his own construction

business)..and they would be friendly and say " hi "

or " thank you for lunch " and when he would come home

from work, he'd bitch up and down about how i was

flirting with his workers and that i was probably

screwing with them on the side...AAAHHH!!! that would

piss me off soooo much...it got to the point, when he

would bring some one over, i wouldn't say one word...

they probably thought i was a bitch. But i had to do

that, just to keep some kind of peace...i really hated

it...Cause im a shy but friendly person...

oh well...

i hope your sister is happy now finally!

nancy

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>

Irony: the Flylady list is going on and on right now about the rejuvenating

powers of a clean home and a date night, and how they will solve your

marriage woes.

<<<<<<

Clean House: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Date Night: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Definitely Delusional.

Penny

[Guest guest]

Date night?

Is that the one night in a blue moon when you get your kids to bed at a

decent hour and they actually sleep where you and your husband can clean the

house up just enough where the authorities don't condemn it and you talk

about when you had a sex life?

Sorry.

Couldn't resist.

Georga

RE: Re: Worst Ex-Husband Award Is Now Accepting

Candidates

> >>>>>>>

> Irony: the Flylady list is going on and on right now about the

rejuvenating

> powers of a clean home and a date night, and how they will solve your

> marriage woes.

> <<<<<<

>

> Clean House: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>

> Date Night: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>

> Definitely Delusional.

>

> Penny

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>