Re: dance

[Guest guest]

just attended his first a couple of months ago and enjoyed it. He

wants to go to another :-) I hope has as much fun!

Sue

[Guest guest]

> just attended his first a couple of months ago and enjoyed

it. He wants to go to another :-) I hope has as much fun!

>

I'm glad he enjoyed it. )

had a fun and she did pretty good. The music was a bit loud for

her and she spent a lot of time hunched over the table eating popcorn

but I managed to get her out on the dance floor a few times. She

danced the last dance with me, (a slow dance of course) and I thought

she was going to fall asleep on her feet! Too much excitement and too

much stimulation. If it hadn't been the last dance I would have taken

her home after that anyway.

I told her a couple of times that it was her dance and we could leave

whenever she wanted. She asked once and I said okay but she changed

her mind pretty quickly. She did get mad when the girl she wanted to

be " prom " queen didn't win but she calmed down fairly quickly.

It was nice going to a dance just for the MH kids. There wasn't any

pressure and no one laughed if the kids danced funny. I can't dance

myself so I fit right in. ;o)

Tina

[Guest guest]

My daughter went to her second dance Friday night. She came home

crying because when she asked the boy she likes to dance, he told

her " No I'd never dance with you ...you're not normal " .

Then he went and danced with the girl who is always mean to Alyx,

doubling her humiliation.

I want so much to take her pain away, but, she brings a lot of it on

herself. She is such a pretty girl, but she dresses horribly (dressy

pants with crappy tee shirts and boots!) , doesn't take care of her

hygeine issues, I can't even get her to comb her hair half the time.

Whenever she talks and is nervous, she will say something completely

inappropriate and I have to admit she sounds strange. I am even

guilty of giving her a hard time about it.

She says she wants people to like her for who she is, and I can

totally respect that to a point, but what happens if the person she

is is really very unlikable?

Of course, we have her in therapy, and on meds, and the 'big sister'

is trying to help her address these social issues. She's on the " I

love YuGiOh and wanting to be a witch " kick again. She says she

wants to be a good witch and a Catholic. (We're not Catholic). I

told her flat out you can NOT be both, that to accept witchcraft is

completely against the teachings of the bible in most any religion.

There is this huge wiccan following thing going on right now and

quite frankly it scares me that she's gonna get all wrapped up in

that occult crap.

I guess in a way though, dont' a lot of kids go through this?

Especially ones who feel they're social outcasts anyway?

Just a vent...we're working on it.

[Guest guest]

> My daughter went to her second dance Friday night. She came home

> crying because when she asked the boy she likes to dance, he told

> her " No I'd never dance with you ...you're not normal " .

>

> Then he went and danced with the girl who is always mean to Alyx,

> doubling her humiliation.

Oh how terrible!

> There is this huge wiccan following thing going on right now and

> quite frankly it scares me that she's gonna get all wrapped up in

> that occult crap.

There's a big difference between most wiccan groups and occult groups

but because of the term " witch " there are a lot of misconceptions and

some occult groups will use the Wiccan name to lure in unsuspecting

kids. You said you're not Catholoic but you didn't say if were

Christian or not so I don't know if becoming a Wiccan would upset you

or if it's just the fear of her getting involved in a cult.

I am a Christian but I've talked to a lot of Wiccans and I see some

very positive things about the religion. *shrug* after all, there are

some pretty nasty " Christian " cults out there. (Waco Texas comes to

mind at the moment.) Parenting teenagers can be so tough. We have to

be so incredibly vigalent. We can't chose our children's beliefs for

them and in their rebellion they can make choices they wouldn't

normally.

(((hugs)))

I hope therapy and big sis can help her make some positive changes in

her self-image.

Tina

*who's up way too late and apologizes for rambling and any spelling

mistakes.*

[Guest guest]

I forget how old your daughter is. Wicca and the " witch " you are talking

about are two totally different things. There are at least three women on

this list that practice the wicca religion and I'm sure any of them would be

happy to explain how it really is. I'm sure they also understand your

concern about cults and your daughter's vulnerability right now.

I think that any religion that would accept your daughter would be good for

her self esteem which I think all kids need. We are Baptist and the church

is right in our backyard. Every Sunday I feel sad that I cannot be there.

My neighbor takes her son and stays for half an hour and that's it because

they cannot handle him. I think if the church was really that open they

would hire someone so that she could etend church

Hugs

[Guest guest]

Oh, that must have hurt something terrible. I know my middle son

sometimes brings things on himself when he acts out of turn or gets

overly upset about something little or just acts weird, but you still

bleed for them when they are crushed like that, and they try so hard.

Since he has been on meds it has helped him ot to be so impulsive,

and say inappropriate things. Having a big sister for her is a great

idea. Someone she can look up to helping her...that is wonderful..I

am sure she will out grown some of these phases soon.

Libby

> My daughter went to her second dance Friday night. She came home

> crying because when she asked the boy she likes to dance, he told

> her " No I'd never dance with you ...you're not normal " .

>

> Then he went and danced with the girl who is always mean to Alyx,

> doubling her humiliation.

>

> I want so much to take her pain away, but, she brings a lot of it

on

> herself. She is such a pretty girl, but she dresses horribly

(dressy

> pants with crappy tee shirts and boots!) , doesn't take care of her

> hygeine issues, I can't even get her to comb her hair half the

time.

> Whenever she talks and is nervous, she will say something

completely

> inappropriate and I have to admit she sounds strange. I am even

> guilty of giving her a hard time about it.

>

> She says she wants people to like her for who she is, and I can

> totally respect that to a point, but what happens if the person she

> is is really very unlikable?

>

> Of course, we have her in therapy, and on meds, and the 'big

sister'

> is trying to help her address these social issues. She's on the " I

> love YuGiOh and wanting to be a witch " kick again. She says she

> wants to be a good witch and a Catholic. (We're not Catholic). I

> told her flat out you can NOT be both, that to accept witchcraft is

> completely against the teachings of the bible in most any

religion.

> There is this huge wiccan following thing going on right now and

> quite frankly it scares me that she's gonna get all wrapped up in

> that occult crap.

> I guess in a way though, dont' a lot of kids go through this?

> Especially ones who feel they're social outcasts anyway?

>

> Just a vent...we're working on it.

>

[Guest guest]

> My daughter went to her second dance Friday night. She came home

> crying because when she asked the boy she likes to dance, he told

> her " No I'd never dance with you ...you're not normal " .

>

Oh, how AWFUL. What a hurtful thing to say. That was entirely unnecessary

when " no thanks " would have sufficed. I hate kids.

> I want so much to take her pain away, but, she brings a lot of it on

> herself. She is such a pretty girl, but she dresses horribly (dressy

> pants with crappy tee shirts and boots!) , doesn't take care of her

> hygeine issues, I can't even get her to comb her hair half the time.

> Whenever she talks and is nervous, she will say something completely

> inappropriate and I have to admit she sounds strange. I am even

> guilty of giving her a hard time about it.

Those traits all SCREAM asperger's. Have you gone any further in pursuing

that possibility? I know you were considering it before.

>

> She says she wants people to like her for who she is, and I can

> totally respect that to a point, but what happens if the person she

> is is really very unlikable?

Do you think she is unlikable?

I think she has a very healthy view that people should like her for who she

is. SHE has to decide if she's going to change herself to please other

people - or to please herself.

> I guess in a way though, dont' a lot of kids go through this?

> Especially ones who feel they're social outcasts anyway?

Absolutely. I went through a huge occult phase during that age. (I don't

count Wicca as being occult) I used ouija boards, held seances with my

friends, the whole preteen shebang. All my friends were right there with

me, and I don't know any woman who didn't go through such a phase when she

was a young girl.

As an adult, I still use tarot cards, but I don't believe there is any

spiritual influence on them; I believe they are a scientific tool to reach

your subconscious.

If this helps, I've studied Wicca. Wiccans do believe in a higher power in

the form of the Lord and the Lady, the caretakers of the earth. They are

loving and gentle dieties. Wicca is a very earth-centred religion as

opposed to a people-centred religion. They have a code of behaviour and

belief that includes respecting all people, doing no harm to person,

creature, or planet. They regard the earth as the embodiment of the spirit,

and people as part of that embodiment. There is no worship of a dark

element, or calling upon spirits to do harm. It's a very loving religion,

and it's not a cult. People are free to practise or to leave as they feel

is right for them.

Hope this helps,

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Glad she had a good time!

Sue

[Guest guest]

,

Maybe you could try telling her that if she wants kids to like her for who

she is, then she is going to have to accept that by letting herself go, some

kids aren't going to like her. If she wants more kids to like her, then

she's going to have to follow some of the standard expectations about

hygiene and style.

Sue

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>

My daughter went to her second dance Friday night. She came home

crying because when she asked the boy she likes to dance, he told

her " No I'd never dance with you ...you're not normal " .

<<<<<<<

Ok...I wanna know where that boy lives...he needs an ass kickin' >:-|

>>>

Then he went and danced with the girl who is always mean to Alyx,

doubling her humiliation.

>>>

damn it :-(

>>>>>>>

I want so much to take her pain away, but, she brings a lot of it on

herself. She is such a pretty girl, but she dresses horribly (dressy

pants with crappy tee shirts and boots!) , doesn't take care of her

hygeine issues, I can't even get her to comb her hair half the time.

Whenever she talks and is nervous, she will say something completely

inappropriate and I have to admit she sounds strange. I am even

guilty of giving her a hard time about it.

<<<<<<<

Sounds like Jacqui.

>>>>>>

There is this huge wiccan following thing going on right now and

quite frankly it scares me that she's gonna get all wrapped up in

that occult crap.

<<<<<<

I'm sure you've already gotten the low-down on the Wiccan Religion way

before I read this. From past posts, I think you are the one that has said

in the past you like to look at the " whole picture " . I'd learn a little

more about Wicca before you categorize it as " occult crap " .

JMHO.

Penny

[Guest guest]

> I want my daughter to find her own path with the Lord. I let her

go to many different churches ( I can't go, I have panic attack every

> time). I try to teach her the basic fundamentals of good and moral

> behavior. Of course, all of my morality is based on what

> Christianity teaches, and I would not mind if she explored other

> religions. I feel very strongly that for me, God knows what my

> issues are, and that He understands me. I try to live honestly and

to be a good person but I can't convey that to her so easily.

>

It sounds like you're doing the best you can with the situation,

. You can only lead her (which you do by allowing her to attend

different churchs) you cannot make her believe. And it is typical for

teens to rebell and try to discover who they are as individuals. I

think you do have reasons to be concerned if her self-esteem is

particularly low. It could lead her to be a victim of a cult.

Have you ever considered learning more about cults and how they work

and recruit so that you might be able to teach her what to avoid?

I just didn't want you thinking all that Wiccan = cult. It doesn't.

That it is in opposition to your beliefs I understand and respect.

I'm just a very cynical person and I tend to think that danger often

lies in the things we know best. I'm a Christian too but I don't want

my children attending 2 of our local churches because of the doctrine

they preach. They scare me. They are very cult-like.

(((hugs)))

I understand your concern.

Tina