SO BAD these jokes are.....

[Guest guest]

Two cannibals are eating dinner. One says to the other:

" I don't like your mother-in-law. " The other one replies:

" Just eat the vegetables. " .

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says,

" I'll serve you, but don't start anything. "

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his

arm and says: " A beer please, and one for the road. "

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:

" Does this taste funny to you? "

" Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.' "

" That sounds like Tom syndrome. "

" Is it common? "

" It's not unusual. "

Two cows standing next to each other in a field,

Daisy says to Dolly " I was artificially inseminated this

morning. "

" I don't believe! you, " said Dolly.

" It's true, no bull! "

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap

shorts. The shrink says, " Well, I can clearly see your

nuts. "

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, " My dog's

cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "

" Well, " says the vet, " let's have a look at him " So

he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks

his teeth.

Finally, he says " I'm going to have to put him down. "

" What?, Because he's cross-eyed? "

" No, because he's really heavy " !

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but

I couldn't find any.

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him

50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top

shelf.

He said, " No, the steaks are too high. "

A man walks into a doctor's office. " What seems to be the

problem? " asks the doc.

" It's... um...well... I have five penises " replies the

man.

" Blimey! " says the doctor, " How do your trousers fit? "

" Like a glove. "

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to

the other and says " dam " .