Re: Condolence letters

[Guest guest]

Caro, I have kept all the letters I received when my mum died (also 92,

Barbara) (that's year, not age, just re read that!!!) and the ones that

meant most to me were the ones from people we hadn't seen for years but on

whom Mum had made a big impression. Hard to explain really - it was really

important to me that the sort of " acquaintances " rather than close friends

made the effort, that somehow seemed a validation of Mum as a person. Even

if you say no more than " what a great job she did bringing you up " it's nice

to have an appreciation of the deceased as well as words of comfort to the

bereaved. But whatever, send the letter - perhaps after the funeral as

Barbara said.

Anneliese and Tim the Terrible Two Today!

Re: Condolence letters

Caro writes:

. I'd be

> very grateful if any of you have had letters of condolence for a

> mother to hear what things you found a comfort. (I didn't know her

> mother very well).

Just write it from the heart Caro - you can`t go wrong. Even if you say

'-I don`t really know what to say, or how you are feeling, but I want

to be here for you so give me a ring..'

Even if you didn`t know the mother - you are writing to support your

friend through a great loss. She may want to talk lots about her

mother - just let her, don`t change the subject, just listen.

Up until the funeral she may be busy making arrangements etc. After the

funeral is over can be a time when people feel the loss as they have

time to spare, so do follow up - even if she hasn`t got back in touch.

I am sure you know all this already ...

Barbara

(Mum died 1992)