Birth in the US (long, but advice appreciated)

September 20, 2001

Had my brother on the phone from Chicago last week and he asked for

some advice on giving birth - a bit late if you ask me as the baby is

due in 2-3 weeks time!

Anyway, apparently he and SIL had not really thought much about it -

assuming that birth was something the doctors would take care of. My

brother says they had a choice of 'doctor' or 'midwife' care to start

with, and they choice 'doctor' care because it sounded safer and

better. I hadn't really asked - because although I am very friendly

with my SIL she comes from a different culture, and I kind of felt it

was her choice what she wanted to do (also she has her own sister

with two kids so I assumed they would discuss it between them).

Now they are panicking, as they inadvertently (by the sounds of it)

went to a 'natural' preparation course where the course leader had

the complete opposite view - you know, 'doctor's are terrible people

who just want to give you a caserian and otherwise do not care'.

The truth is somewhere in between, in my view (first time I have

agreed with Naomi Woolf on anything!).

The question is - what practical advice can I give them? I don't

really know the US system, and also it's too late for them to change

type of care and hospital I think, so they have to make the best out

of what they have got.

Basically I have said

- learn as much as you can beforehand (read/courses/whatever) so that

if the doctors suggest something, you can have a view on what you

want to do

- make sure my brother is there all the time and knows what you want

- to my brother: don't be shy and don't think it's women's business -

you can be a lot of help (it doesn't sound as if she will get a lot

of midwife help at all)

- perhaps consider a doula if they can get one at short notice

(apparently you are allowed to bring one)

- write a birth plan, which makes you think about the type of things

you want, and which the hospital should respect (I have sent them

mine because they asked, but I made clear that they were MY choices

and that she shouldn't copy it word for word).

Is there anything else I could say to help?

Karina

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