what a night! and morniong!

[Guest guest]

Haven't read any of my messages yet; just had to get this down before I forgot

some of it...

Last evening, Marc and were playing on the video game. Now, is MUCH

better at this game than either Marc or I, and he's getting quite obnoxious

about it. When the other person doesn't to as well as him, he makes nasty snide

comments that I guess he thinks are teasing.

AFter a particularly nasty one he said to dh, I had some strong words with him

about the way he was talking. Two seconds later, dh said something to ME, and

sniped him again. I told him daddy was talking to me, and that he had no

RIGHT to talk to peop,e the way he was talking.

Well, he pounded upstairs to his room, SLAMMED the door, and began wailing and

screaming like a banshee. Completely out of proportion to what had just

happened. It was a HUGE trantrum, bigger than we'd witnessed in a long long

time.

" You'd better go up there, " dh said, " or do you want me to? " " No, I'll go. I

was the one involved in this... "

I went upstairs to find on his bed in a foetal position, his throw rug over

his head, wailing and sobbing. I sat on the bed, and soon he stopped crying and

started yelling at me for talking to him like that.

I said, " But , you can't talk the way YOU did. It's not NICE to be so mean

when someone isn't as good at something as you are. It's also not OK to get so

angry when someone beats you at something. "

" But I want to always WIN! "

:I know, but that's not how it works. Sometimes you get to win, and sometimes

other people get to win. That's how everyone has fun together. "

He freaked AGAIN! LOUDER! And then he wailed, 'THAT'S WHY I DON'T HAVE ANY

FRIENDS ANY MORE!!!! "

<oh my god>

" What do you mean, you don't have any friends anymore? "

So he told me this story about how he and Greg (his seatmate in class and

playmate) raced to the door at the end of recess and Greg won the race, and so

screamed, " YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANY MORE! I HATE YOU! " Obviously, Greg

didn't speak to him for the rest of the day.

I told him that if he wanted Greg to not be mad anymore, he needed to apologize

tomorrow right away.

AFter that he calmed down.

This morning, he sat down with a piece of paper and wrote a note. I can't

transcribe it all here, but basically it said please come to my house and play.

I'm sorry I said you aren't my friend anymore. I love you.

I am just entirely stunned. STUNNED!

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>

>

> " You'd better go up there, " dh said, " or do you want me to? " " No,

I'll go. I was the one involved in this... "

>

> I went upstairs to find on his bed in a foetal position, his

throw rug over his head, wailing and sobbing. I sat on the bed, and

soon he stopped crying and started yelling at me for talking to him

like that.

>

> I said, " But , you can't talk the way YOU did. It's not NICE

to be so mean when someone isn't as good at something as you are.

It's also not OK to get so angry when someone beats you at something. "

>

> " But I want to always WIN! "

>

> :I know, but that's not how it works. Sometimes you get to win,

and sometimes other people get to win. That's how everyone has fun

together. "

>

> He freaked AGAIN! LOUDER! And then he wailed, 'THAT'S WHY I DON'T

HAVE ANY FRIENDS ANY MORE!!!! "

>

> <oh my god>

>

> " What do you mean, you don't have any friends anymore? "

>

> So he told me this story about how he and Greg (his seatmate in

class and playmate) raced to the door at the end of recess and Greg

won the race, and so screamed, " YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANY MORE!

I HATE YOU! " Obviously, Greg didn't speak to him for the rest of the

day.

>

> I told him that if he wanted Greg to not be mad anymore, he needed

to apologize tomorrow right away.

>

> AFter that he calmed down.

>

> This morning, he sat down with a piece of paper and wrote a note.

I can't transcribe it all here, but basically it said please come to

my house and play. I'm sorry I said you aren't my friend anymore. I

love you.

>

> I am just entirely stunned. STUNNED!

>

> Jacquie

>

>

That is just the sweetest thing!!!

btw..can I ask, what is 's handwritting like? Mitchel's is sooo

awful, you have to decipher it, he just has no fine motor skills for

writing.

KErri

[Guest guest]

> btw..can I ask, what is 's handwritting like? Mitchel's is sooo

> awful, you have to decipher it, he just has no fine motor skills for

> writing.

It is getting WAY better - he's really taking more time to form his letters.

Since I just have him write at home, I imagine they're giving him extra

support in the sped resource room during school.

He forms all his letters in a backwards sequence, though -- for a 'g', he'll

start the tail first, drawing it from the bottom to the top, and then form

the circle in a clockwise move.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Wow. What a sweet ending to a difficult night. And I think you taught him

something very valuable about making amends. Good work, Mom!

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal dx

Phoebe, 11 wks

what a night! and morniong!

>

> Haven't read any of my messages yet; just had to get this down before I

forgot some of it...

>

> Last evening, Marc and were playing on the video game. Now, is

MUCH better at this game than either Marc or I, and he's getting quite

obnoxious about it. When the other person doesn't to as well as him, he

makes nasty snide comments that I guess he thinks are teasing.

>

> AFter a particularly nasty one he said to dh, I had some strong words with

him about the way he was talking. Two seconds later, dh said something to

ME, and sniped him again. I told him daddy was talking to me, and that

he had no RIGHT to talk to peop,e the way he was talking.

>

> Well, he pounded upstairs to his room, SLAMMED the door, and began wailing

and screaming like a banshee. Completely out of proportion to what had just

happened. It was a HUGE trantrum, bigger than we'd witnessed in a long long

time.

>

> " You'd better go up there, " dh said, " or do you want me to? " " No, I'll

go. I was the one involved in this... "

>

> I went upstairs to find on his bed in a foetal position, his throw

rug over his head, wailing and sobbing. I sat on the bed, and soon he

stopped crying and started yelling at me for talking to him like that.

>

> I said, " But , you can't talk the way YOU did. It's not NICE to be so

mean when someone isn't as good at something as you are. It's also not OK

to get so angry when someone beats you at something. "

>

> " But I want to always WIN! "

>

> :I know, but that's not how it works. Sometimes you get to win, and

sometimes other people get to win. That's how everyone has fun together. "

>

> He freaked AGAIN! LOUDER! And then he wailed, 'THAT'S WHY I DON'T HAVE

ANY FRIENDS ANY MORE!!!! "

>

> <oh my god>

>

> " What do you mean, you don't have any friends anymore? "

>

> So he told me this story about how he and Greg (his seatmate in class and

playmate) raced to the door at the end of recess and Greg won the race, and

so screamed, " YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANY MORE! I HATE YOU! " Obviously,

Greg didn't speak to him for the rest of the day.

>

> I told him that if he wanted Greg to not be mad anymore, he needed to

apologize tomorrow right away.

>

> AFter that he calmed down.

>

> This morning, he sat down with a piece of paper and wrote a note. I can't

transcribe it all here, but basically it said please come to my house and

play. I'm sorry I said you aren't my friend anymore. I love you.

>

> I am just entirely stunned. STUNNED!

>

> Jacquie

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

WOW, just WOW

-- In parenting_autism , " The Hunny Family "

<vhunnius@l...> wrote:

>

> Haven't read any of my messages yet; just had to get this down

before I forgot some of it...

>

> Last evening, Marc and were playing on the video game. Now,

is MUCH better at this game than either Marc or I, and he's

getting quite obnoxious about it. When the other person doesn't to

as well as him, he makes nasty snide comments that I guess he thinks

are teasing.

>

> AFter a particularly nasty one he said to dh, I had some strong

words with him about the way he was talking. Two seconds later, dh

said something to ME, and sniped him again. I told him daddy

was talking to me, and that he had no RIGHT to talk to peop,e the way

he was talking.

>

> Well, he pounded upstairs to his room, SLAMMED the door, and began

wailing and screaming like a banshee. Completely out of proportion

to what had just happened. It was a HUGE trantrum, bigger than we'd

witnessed in a long long time.

>

> " You'd better go up there, " dh said, " or do you want me to? " " No,

I'll go. I was the one involved in this... "

>

> I went upstairs to find on his bed in a foetal position, his

throw rug over his head, wailing and sobbing. I sat on the bed, and

soon he stopped crying and started yelling at me for talking to him

like that.

>

> I said, " But , you can't talk the way YOU did. It's not NICE

to be so mean when someone isn't as good at something as you are.

It's also not OK to get so angry when someone beats you at something. "

>

> " But I want to always WIN! "

>

> :I know, but that's not how it works. Sometimes you get to win,

and sometimes other people get to win. That's how everyone has fun

together. "

>

> He freaked AGAIN! LOUDER! And then he wailed, 'THAT'S WHY I DON'T

HAVE ANY FRIENDS ANY MORE!!!! "

>

> <oh my god>

>

> " What do you mean, you don't have any friends anymore? "

>

> So he told me this story about how he and Greg (his seatmate in

class and playmate) raced to the door at the end of recess and Greg

won the race, and so screamed, " YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANY MORE!

I HATE YOU! " Obviously, Greg didn't speak to him for the rest of the

day.

>

> I told him that if he wanted Greg to not be mad anymore, he needed

to apologize tomorrow right away.

>

> AFter that he calmed down.

>

> This morning, he sat down with a piece of paper and wrote a note.

I can't transcribe it all here, but basically it said please come to

my house and play. I'm sorry I said you aren't my friend anymore. I

love you.

>

> I am just entirely stunned. STUNNED!

>

> Jacquie

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

You just described 's attempts at letter formation. Unfortunately he

didn't improve in 4 1/2 years of school so they are having him work with

AlphaSmart now and took the pressure off him to write.

Maybe you need to write a list of rules for friendship for and tell him

if he follows these he will have more luck/fun with friends?

Sue

[Guest guest]

Wow WTG !! and good lesson Mom. Can you come teach my NT son who is 4 that

EVERY toy in the house is NOT his pleaseeeeeeeeeee? I will feed you lobster?

Warm Regards

& ASD 11/25/00 in Maine

what a night! and morniong!

Haven't read any of my messages yet; just had to get this down before I forgot

some of it...

Last evening, Marc and were playing on the video game. Now, is MUCH

better at this game than either Marc or I, and he's getting quite obnoxious

about it. When the other person doesn't to as well as him, he makes nasty snide

comments that I guess he thinks are teasing.

AFter a particularly nasty one he said to dh, I had some strong words with him

about the way he was talking. Two seconds later, dh said something to ME, and

sniped him again. I told him daddy was talking to me, and that he had no

RIGHT to talk to peop,e the way he was talking.

Well, he pounded upstairs to his room, SLAMMED the door, and began wailing and

screaming like a banshee. Completely out of proportion to what had just

happened. It was a HUGE trantrum, bigger than we'd witnessed in a long long

time.

" You'd better go up there, " dh said, " or do you want me to? " " No, I'll go. I

was the one involved in this... "

I went upstairs to find on his bed in a foetal position, his throw rug

over his head, wailing and sobbing. I sat on the bed, and soon he stopped

crying and started yelling at me for talking to him like that.

I said, " But , you can't talk the way YOU did. It's not NICE to be so

mean when someone isn't as good at something as you are. It's also not OK to

get so angry when someone beats you at something. "

" But I want to always WIN! "

:I know, but that's not how it works. Sometimes you get to win, and sometimes

other people get to win. That's how everyone has fun together. "

He freaked AGAIN! LOUDER! And then he wailed, 'THAT'S WHY I DON'T HAVE ANY

FRIENDS ANY MORE!!!! "

<oh my god>

" What do you mean, you don't have any friends anymore? "

So he told me this story about how he and Greg (his seatmate in class and

playmate) raced to the door at the end of recess and Greg won the race, and so

screamed, " YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANY MORE! I HATE YOU! " Obviously, Greg

didn't speak to him for the rest of the day.

I told him that if he wanted Greg to not be mad anymore, he needed to

apologize tomorrow right away.

AFter that he calmed down.

This morning, he sat down with a piece of paper and wrote a note. I can't

transcribe it all here, but basically it said please come to my house and play.

I'm sorry I said you aren't my friend anymore. I love you.

I am just entirely stunned. STUNNED!

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

WOW!! That is quite a connection.

Tamara

mom to Ebony, 5 years old, asd, adhd, bipolar

and , 2, polish (lol)

wife to Terry

>

>Reply-To: parenting_autism

>To: <parenting_autism >

>CC: " Janet "

>Subject: what a night! and morniong!

>Date: Tue, 29 Apr 2003 08:39:16 -0500

>

>

>Haven't read any of my messages yet; just had to get this down before I

>forgot some of it...

>

>Last evening, Marc and were playing on the video game. Now, is

>MUCH better at this game than either Marc or I, and he's getting quite

>obnoxious about it. When the other person doesn't to as well as him, he

>makes nasty snide comments that I guess he thinks are teasing.

>

>AFter a particularly nasty one he said to dh, I had some strong words with

>him about the way he was talking. Two seconds later, dh said something to

>ME, and sniped him again. I told him daddy was talking to me, and

>that he had no RIGHT to talk to peop,e the way he was talking.

>

>Well, he pounded upstairs to his room, SLAMMED the door, and began wailing

>and screaming like a banshee. Completely out of proportion to what had

>just happened. It was a HUGE trantrum, bigger than we'd witnessed in a

>long long time.

>

> " You'd better go up there, " dh said, " or do you want me to? " " No, I'll go.

> I was the one involved in this... "

>

>I went upstairs to find on his bed in a foetal position, his throw rug

>over his head, wailing and sobbing. I sat on the bed, and soon he stopped

>crying and started yelling at me for talking to him like that.

>

>I said, " But , you can't talk the way YOU did. It's not NICE to be so

>mean when someone isn't as good at something as you are. It's also not OK

>to get so angry when someone beats you at something. "

>

> " But I want to always WIN! "

>

>:I know, but that's not how it works. Sometimes you get to win, and

>sometimes other people get to win. That's how everyone has fun together. "

>

>He freaked AGAIN! LOUDER! And then he wailed, 'THAT'S WHY I DON'T HAVE

>ANY FRIENDS ANY MORE!!!! "

>

><oh my god>

>

> " What do you mean, you don't have any friends anymore? "

>

>So he told me this story about how he and Greg (his seatmate in class and

>playmate) raced to the door at the end of recess and Greg won the race, and

>so screamed, " YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANY MORE! I HATE YOU! " Obviously,

>Greg didn't speak to him for the rest of the day.

>

>I told him that if he wanted Greg to not be mad anymore, he needed to

>apologize tomorrow right away.

>

>AFter that he calmed down.

>

>This morning, he sat down with a piece of paper and wrote a note. I can't

>transcribe it all here, but basically it said please come to my house and

>play. I'm sorry I said you aren't my friend anymore. I love you.

>

>I am just entirely stunned. STUNNED!

>

>Jacquie

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> Jacquie-

> You are totally amazing.

>

> Do you realize what you have done with this child!

>

> Wow.

> Penny :-D

Thank you, Penny. THANK YOU! I can't tell you how much that little message

means to me. :-)

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> does this help??

>

> http://www.polyxo.com/socialstories/

A little...but you reminded me that I have a book of social stories and a

huge activity book with worksheets called " Social Skills Activities for

Special Kids " that I got from Webber -- time to get them out! So THANK YOU

for prompting me to remember them!

We're starting with the already without realizing it, I think, after Ben

leaves - by talking about what happened and re-scripting it for him. He's

driving Ben away with his competitive nature and his inability to

acknowledge when Ben does something well.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>>Can I still have the lobster???? <<< Sure LOL, I don't seem to understand NT

or autistic kiddos LOL..and I thought parenting was going to be simple

Re: what a night! and morniong!

> Wow WTG !! and good lesson Mom. Can you come teach my NT son who is 4

that EVERY toy in the house is NOT his pleaseeeeeeeeeee? I will feed you

lobster?

>

Oh, , I'd try, but I don't understand NTs! LOL.

Can I still have the lobster???? ;-)

Jacquie