Re: My new email client!.. and other family dilemmas

[Guest guest]

> I found the whole episode disloyal, TBH. I spoke to Tavya (my wise

> counsel!) about it afterwards, and she said that Avigayil never

meant > it as an attack on *me* personally, just that she doesn't

like crime > fiction, and since she only reads Jewish fiction, there

hasn't been > much alternative for her.

Tavya sounds pretty wise to me. I am sure she is right! And at least

Avigayil told you beforehand - so it's not as if it has been printed

without you being warned.

Be proud of your children having a view of their own, I'd say, and

even more proud of the fact that they respect you enough to tell you

about it!

I don't know enough about your community though to know if writing it

under her own name will make it look as if there is a family feud

going on, where there really is none. Will everyone know she is

related to you? If so it might be wiser to write it anonymously, or

perhaps with initials or first name only.

But if the wider community doesn't mind - why not just see it as a

sign of what an open-minded family you are.

Karina

[Guest guest]

> Tavya sounds pretty wise to me. I am sure she is right! And at least

> Avigayil told you beforehand - so it's not as if it has been printed

> without you being warned.

>

> Be proud of your children having a view of their own, I'd say, and

> even more proud of the fact that they respect you enough to tell you

> about it!

>

> I don't know enough about your community though to know if writing

it

> under her own name will make it look as if there is a family feud

> going on, where there really is none. Will everyone know she is

> related to you? If so it might be wiser to write it anonymously, or

> perhaps with initials or first name only.

>

> But if the wider community doesn't mind - why not just see it as a

> sign of what an open-minded family you are.

>

> Karina

Um, enough people would know she was my daughter to make it look a

bit wierd, yes. And I am not sure I wouldn't have preferred not

knowing; there have been some other " kickbacks " in the Jewish press

about too many crime novels recently, I would have just thought " oh

another one " :-)

Good to have another perspective on it though, thanks Karina, I am too

close to be objective, I think!

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

>

>> Tavya sounds pretty wise to me. I am sure she is right! And at least

>> Avigayil told you beforehand - so it's not as if it has been printed

>> without you being warned.

I think I would have been a bit hurt about the *way* she told you

beforehand, especially if she's never mentioned her feelings to you

before. If she did it exactly as you say, she was being a bit

disingenuous - and not really acknowledging the relevance of this to

you personally, as if she had no idea you wrote crime fiction, just

treating you as *her* mother who was supposed to be proud of her

(rather teenagerish)

Pain in the arse IMHO holier than thou children. (And I definitely am

one sometimes: " Oh that's *us* told off " said my mother on being

informed that using a scarce 'baby plus toddler' trolley we didn't

need was anti-social behaviour as it might prevent someone who did

need it from doing their shopping and we were not going to do it)

BTW I have Eudora with the chilli ratings too - you can have a jolly

silly time working out what upsets it - lots of chillis on your bfc

list postings I would reckon.

--

jennifer@...

Vaudin

[Guest guest]

> I think I would have been a bit hurt about the *way* she told you

> beforehand, especially if she's never mentioned her feelings to you

> before. If she did it exactly as you say, she was being a bit

> disingenuous - and not really acknowledging the relevance of this to

> you personally, as if she had no idea you wrote crime fiction, just

> treating you as *her* mother who was supposed to be proud of her

> (rather teenagerish)

To be fair, (if I have to be fair!) I did know that crime fiction

wasn't her favourite genre, but that's a pretty long call from having

her write in a magazine published by MY publishers that they should

stop doing that kind of book!

> Pain in the arse IMHO holier than thou children. (And I definitely

am

> one sometimes: " Oh that's *us* told off " said my mother on being

> informed that using a scarce 'baby plus toddler' trolley we didn't

> need was anti-social behaviour as it might prevent someone who did

> need it from doing their shopping and we were not going to do it)

giggle

> BTW I have Eudora with the chilli ratings too - you can have a jolly

> silly time working out what upsets it - lots of chillis on your bfc

> list postings I would reckon.

! ) I hardly ever swear, and that's not me being holier than

thou, it's just not me. The list I was abused on wasn't a bfc one, it

was one relating to LBC radio, where my book Dark Tapestry is being

read out at 3 a.m. on Friday mornings. One of the men on that list

finds it amusing to goad me mercilessly at every turn until I do

occasionally let fly It doesn't even take *me* mentioning the book

reading to set him off;(I never do any more) someone else mentioning

it is enough.

I hadn't thought of those red things as chillies ) They are cute.

Ruthie