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Re: A Last Gift from Alix

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> A small thing to an NT child but a big thing to Putter. And I thank my sister

and her trampoline. <

that's so beautiful :')

~~~ Imagine all the people, living life in peace - Lennon ~~~

-------------------------

gina, 31, ny

single mom to -

kailey, 8, autism, hyperlexia, depression, anxiety, OCD, DSI

trevor, 3, multiple developmental delays, no " official " dx yet

parker jade, due 7-25-03 :-D

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Salli,

That was a beautiful story

Georga

Visit my new web page at www.ubahbookshelf.com

This tag line space for rent.

A Last Gift from Alix

> My sister Alix insisted that she be known to her nieces and nephews

despite the many miles that separated her from all of them. She had my

brother's daughters to stay with her every summer for years; she had my

other sister's son live with her in summers while he worked in restaurants

in NYC until he was practically a big brother to her two children. My

children were harder. Lou did not like me to associate much with my family

and he discouraged holiday visits partly by creating a rich family tradition

in our own house (which I do not regret).

>

> So Alix had to use other ways. She wrote letters to my children (those

who could read) and she sent the most marvelous gifts. " Oh, " my children

would say, " That is from Aunt Alix and Uncle Dick! " Seldom was her choice a

failure.

>

> I talked to her when I first worried about Putter having autism. I made

the case for and against, and she interrupted me to say, " But what do you

really think? You know, I would think. " And I did. She sent me the first

book I ever read on autism, and I opened its pages with a chilled heart and

read the DSM-IV definition of autism, telling myself that it could not

possibly apply, and then I quickly closed it and said, " But he is so

affectionate... "

>

> She visited us for the last time when Putter was three and a half and,

before she ever even entered my house, she sat down on the swing outside on

a bright and shiny autumn day and she played with Putter making patterns in

the dirt with her feet and somehow persuading this distant and avoidant

child to interact with her as he laughed and messed her patterns up (I have

those shoes to this day, and I remember that day every time I see them.)

>

> That day she told me that she could tell that something was wrong for his

eyes were blank when he wasn't laughing.

>

> For Christmas that year she sent Putter a mini trampoline. I do not know

how she knew that this was a near perfect gift for a small child with autism

(as well as being a near perfect gift for the parent of a small child with

autism), but I imagine she read and researched and thought about it in these

her last living months for that was always her way.

>

> Putter adored the trampoline. It has had a very hard three and a half

years of use. I have taken good care of it as I have of all the things that

she has given me; her roses on my front lawn, her clothes that I have worn a

bit too long (I looked a little ragged in her turtlenecks this winter; I

think it will be their last, but I looked so nice the first winter after her

death). On the trampoline, I notice when the threads on the webbing begin

to tear and I sit and sew them back on securely with carpet thread and a big

needle. I hate sewing. It makes my nose itch, and I hate the peering and I

hate the pricks I always get with the needle. But I did not want to replace

THIS trampoline.

>

> Last night, as Putter and Robbie were bouncing from the slide to the

trampoline to the ballpit, I noticed that the webbing was starting to tear.

And I shouted at Putter and Robbie to get off, " It's broken! " I said, " I

will fix it! "

>

> Not so long ago, I wouldn't have bothered shouting at Putter. It would

have had no effect and so I would have physically removed him and hidden the

trampoline somewhere in the basement. This year, O Blessed GIft of

Receptive Language, Putter got off the trampoline. He covered his ears and

hummed a second, but he understood and he obeyed. And he stayed off the

trampoline.

>

> Until this afternoon. It was apparent that he had simply forgotten for he

got off again immediately. I sighed. I was annoyed that I had forgotten to

sew the webbing while Putter was in school. Not so long ago it would have

been impossible to sew the webbing with Putter around. He would have shouted

and cried and tried to set the trampoline upright. But today he asked a

question of a sort that Putter has never asked before. At this point in

time, Putter asks only " Where " questions, and only about things that he has

lost, like the " Where is Dartie? " that he asked of me a few minutes ago when

he wanted to cuddle his favorite cat, or the " Where is submarine? " that he

asked last night and I could not understand him and so he had to write it

down for me. But today, as I was sewing he came up to me and said in his

oddly inflected speech, " Is it broken? " It took me a minute to register

what he had said, such a NORMAL thing to say, and then, though my mouth at

first fell slightly open

>

> A small thing to an NT child but a big thing to Putter. And I thank my

sister and her trampoline.

>

> Salli

>

>

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Oh Salli, that's just beautiful. Alix must have been such a wonderful,

caring person. I guess it runs in your family.

{{{Salli}}}

ellen

A Last Gift from Alix

My sister Alix insisted that she be known to her nieces and nephews

despite the many miles that separated her from all of them. She had my

brother's daughters to stay with her every summer for years; she had my

other sister's son live with her in summers while he worked in restaurants

in NYC until he was practically a big brother to her two children. My

children were harder. Lou did not like me to associate much with my family

and he discouraged holiday visits partly by creating a rich family tradition

in our own house (which I do not regret).

So Alix had to use other ways. She wrote letters to my children (those

who could read) and she sent the most marvelous gifts. " Oh, " my children

would say, " That is from Aunt Alix and Uncle Dick! " Seldom was her choice a

failure.

I talked to her when I first worried about Putter having autism. I made

the case for and against, and she interrupted me to say, " But what do you

really think? You know, I would think. " And I did. She sent me the first

book I ever read on autism, and I opened its pages with a chilled heart and

read the DSM-IV definition of autism, telling myself that it could not

possibly apply, and then I quickly closed it and said, " But he is so

affectionate... "

She visited us for the last time when Putter was three and a half and,

before she ever even entered my house, she sat down on the swing outside on

a bright and shiny autumn day and she played with Putter making patterns in

the dirt with her feet and somehow persuading this distant and avoidant

child to interact with her as he laughed and messed her patterns up (I have

those shoes to this day, and I remember that day every time I see them.)

That day she told me that she could tell that something was wrong for his

eyes were blank when he wasn't laughing.

For Christmas that year she sent Putter a mini trampoline. I do not know

how she knew that this was a near perfect gift for a small child with autism

(as well as being a near perfect gift for the parent of a small child with

autism), but I imagine she read and researched and thought about it in these

her last living months for that was always her way.

Putter adored the trampoline. It has had a very hard three and a half

years of use. I have taken good care of it as I have of all the things that

she has given me; her roses on my front lawn, her clothes that I have worn a

bit too long (I looked a little ragged in her turtlenecks this winter; I

think it will be their last, but I looked so nice the first winter after her

death). On the trampoline, I notice when the threads on the webbing begin

to tear and I sit and sew them back on securely with carpet thread and a big

needle. I hate sewing. It makes my nose itch, and I hate the peering and I

hate the pricks I always get with the needle. But I did not want to replace

THIS trampoline.

Last night, as Putter and Robbie were bouncing from the slide to the

trampoline to the ballpit, I noticed that the webbing was starting to tear.

And I shouted at Putter and Robbie to get off, " It's broken! " I said, " I

will fix it! "

Not so long ago, I wouldn't have bothered shouting at Putter. It would

have had no effect and so I would have physically removed him and hidden the

trampoline somewhere in the basement. This year, O Blessed GIft of

Receptive Language, Putter got off the trampoline. He covered his ears and

hummed a second, but he understood and he obeyed. And he stayed off the

trampoline.

Until this afternoon. It was apparent that he had simply forgotten for he

got off again immediately. I sighed. I was annoyed that I had forgotten to

sew the webbing while Putter was in school. Not so long ago it would have

been impossible to sew the webbing with Putter around. He would have shouted

and cried and tried to set the trampoline upright. But today he asked a

question of a sort that Putter has never asked before. At this point in

time, Putter asks only " Where " questions, and only about things that he has

lost, like the " Where is Dartie? " that he asked of me a few minutes ago when

he wanted to cuddle his favorite cat, or the " Where is submarine? " that he

asked last night and I could not understand him and so he had to write it

down for me. But today, as I was sewing he came up to me and said in his

oddly inflected speech, " Is it broken? " It took me a minute to register

what he had said, such a NORMAL thing to say, and then, though my mouth at

first fell slightly open with surprise, I calmly tried to answer him, " Yes,

but I am fixing it. " And he was satisfied and went off to play.

A small thing to an NT child but a big thing to Putter. And I thank my

sister and her trampoline.

Salli

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Aw shit, Salli, I am bawling like a baby! What lovely gifts Alix has

given (and is still giving) to you and your children! She must,

indeed have been a very special lady just like her sister. You need

to publish your thoughts, my dear. Yeah, I know, you'll get around

to it in your spare time...What a touching story! Leggs

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A small thing to an NT child but a big thing to Putter. And I

thank my sister and her trampoline.

>

> Salli

:')

that was a very touching story, Salli~

thank you.

nancy

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> >>Well, now Putter CAN talk<< I am sorry Salli, bad choice of words on my

behalf. I really might, can their writing skills be ahead of their verb

skills. Sorry I hope I did not offend you or Putter.

>

, I am very hard to offend especially when I know perfectly well that

the writer did not intend to offend. If you read most of my postings with a

smile on your face (although not the original posting under this subject

heading for I wrote that with tears in my eyes) you will get it right. I

was just clarifying in case you had misunderstood.

Yes, definitely, I think it is fairly common for writing skills to be ahead

of speech although all the communication problems remain in writing. Putter

would not write about his school day, for instance, for he would not

understand the point. He would list things he liked and he might write about

something that he wanted.

Salli

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>>>>>>

A small thing to an NT child but a big thing to Putter. And I thank my

sister and her trampoline.

Salli

<<<<<<<

What a beautiful story...<sniff>

Penny

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A beautiful story, Salli.

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal dx

Phoebe, 11 wks

A Last Gift from Alix

> My sister Alix insisted that she be known to her nieces and nephews

despite the many miles that separated her from all of them. She had my

brother's daughters to stay with her every summer for years; she had my

other sister's son live with her in summers while he worked in restaurants

in NYC until he was practically a big brother to her two children. My

children were harder. Lou did not like me to associate much with my family

and he discouraged holiday visits partly by creating a rich family tradition

in our own house (which I do not regret).

>

> So Alix had to use other ways. She wrote letters to my children (those

who could read) and she sent the most marvelous gifts. " Oh, " my children

would say, " That is from Aunt Alix and Uncle Dick! " Seldom was her choice a

failure.

>

> I talked to her when I first worried about Putter having autism. I made

the case for and against, and she interrupted me to say, " But what do you

really think? You know, I would think. " And I did. She sent me the first

book I ever read on autism, and I opened its pages with a chilled heart and

read the DSM-IV definition of autism, telling myself that it could not

possibly apply, and then I quickly closed it and said, " But he is so

affectionate... "

>

> She visited us for the last time when Putter was three and a half and,

before she ever even entered my house, she sat down on the swing outside on

a bright and shiny autumn day and she played with Putter making patterns in

the dirt with her feet and somehow persuading this distant and avoidant

child to interact with her as he laughed and messed her patterns up (I have

those shoes to this day, and I remember that day every time I see them.)

>

> That day she told me that she could tell that something was wrong for his

eyes were blank when he wasn't laughing.

>

> For Christmas that year she sent Putter a mini trampoline. I do not know

how she knew that this was a near perfect gift for a small child with autism

(as well as being a near perfect gift for the parent of a small child with

autism), but I imagine she read and researched and thought about it in these

her last living months for that was always her way.

>

> Putter adored the trampoline. It has had a very hard three and a half

years of use. I have taken good care of it as I have of all the things that

she has given me; her roses on my front lawn, her clothes that I have worn a

bit too long (I looked a little ragged in her turtlenecks this winter; I

think it will be their last, but I looked so nice the first winter after her

death). On the trampoline, I notice when the threads on the webbing begin

to tear and I sit and sew them back on securely with carpet thread and a big

needle. I hate sewing. It makes my nose itch, and I hate the peering and I

hate the pricks I always get with the needle. But I did not want to replace

THIS trampoline.

>

> Last night, as Putter and Robbie were bouncing from the slide to the

trampoline to the ballpit, I noticed that the webbing was starting to tear.

And I shouted at Putter and Robbie to get off, " It's broken! " I said, " I

will fix it! "

>

> Not so long ago, I wouldn't have bothered shouting at Putter. It would

have had no effect and so I would have physically removed him and hidden the

trampoline somewhere in the basement. This year, O Blessed GIft of

Receptive Language, Putter got off the trampoline. He covered his ears and

hummed a second, but he understood and he obeyed. And he stayed off the

trampoline.

>

> Until this afternoon. It was apparent that he had simply forgotten for he

got off again immediately. I sighed. I was annoyed that I had forgotten to

sew the webbing while Putter was in school. Not so long ago it would have

been impossible to sew the webbing with Putter around. He would have shouted

and cried and tried to set the trampoline upright. But today he asked a

question of a sort that Putter has never asked before. At this point in

time, Putter asks only " Where " questions, and only about things that he has

lost, like the " Where is Dartie? " that he asked of me a few minutes ago when

he wanted to cuddle his favorite cat, or the " Where is submarine? " that he

asked last night and I could not understand him and so he had to write it

down for me. But today, as I was sewing he came up to me and said in his

oddly inflected speech, " Is it broken? " It took me a minute to register

what he had said, such a NORMAL thing to say, and then, though my mouth at

first fell slightly open with surprise, I calmly tried to answer him, " Yes,

but I am fixing it. " And he was satisfied and went off to play.

>

> A small thing to an NT child but a big thing to Putter. And I thank my

sister and her trampoline.

>

> Salli

>

>

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