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Phil update Tuesday Oct.25

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It seems every time I write these days I have more bad new. Lately I feel

like we are back 2 years ago with all the symptoms from then. Scary since a

lot were tumor related but the CT scan was status quo so who knows?

Today's symptom is hiccoughs which adds Thorazine to the mix of drugs to

treat the multiple symptoms and sideeffects. We are so worn out with all this.

It is a minor thing but causing him major discomfort.

He took meds 2 hours ago and hallelujah they are finally

Phil was able to get Dr. Rothman to agree to chemo only every other week

which will hopefully give him more symptom/side effect free days.

I was met at the mall by one of our church members who said " It must be

hard. "

So I said a little and she said " No I think a lot. "

She is right of course but it is hard to wear your emotions in front of 100+

parishioners!

Then I start feeling like no one gives a damn when truth is I'm just trying

to be this strong ROCK I think everyone wants me to be!!

I can't be boohooing all the time for God sake!!!

I am going to just ask for what I need since everyone keeps asking. I feel

kind of selfish but here goes anyway.

1. a day out

2. phone calls from you and/or phone cards

3. money for extras like clothes and getting my hair done (that you all say

I deserve)

4. visitors from near and far

5. lots of prayer and encouragement because no matter how good it has been I

do not have good feelings about how things are going.

OK end of my ranting.

Phil is home sleeping and comfortable for the moment

Time for another deep breath even more prayers

and more fighting to keep my head together and my heart from breaking.

It ain't easy but I know it is possible

Narice

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