Re: Changes and children

[Guest guest]

Hannah wrote:

>But I know it's because he's tired, and settling into new routines at school

>again, so I try to be as calm as possible and not expect to be able to make

>any sense of why he's upset (because there isn't any - he just is )or try

>and make it right (you can't because anything you do'll be wrong!) just rise

>above it, and weather the storm and remember that everybody else's children

>are doing exactly the same!

I agree.

My DD has just started in Reception and is attending full-time. She is

in bed at 6.30pm every evening and if we miss this slot she becomes very

difficult about an hour later and can't wake up in the morning.

It's a very difficult time of year for them. So many new faces, new

teachers, new routines, strange surroundings. I know when I used to

start in a new branch of the bank I worked in (about every 12-18mo) I

would be utterly exhausted for the first few weeks as I tried to larn

all the names of people, procedures, etc.

--

Sue

[Guest guest]

phine wrote:

> Well, I'm having a horrid time. DS1 who started school - mornings

> only - this term is being absolutely awful. After the first two

weeks

> OK, he has started *really* not wanting to go to school and saying

he

> doesn't like the children. (He loves the teacher). >>>>>

> In addition DS2, who has started Playgroup this term has decided to

> revert as well. After 6 months being reliably dry he is now wetting

> himself 3x day and carrying around nappies in the house, if he gets

a

> chance.

>>>>>>>>>

Don't really have any advise, but I also have a child now 6 who comes

home from school so tired that everything ends in tears and screaming

fits. Big brother winds him up and knows he will get tears. It does

get easier as he gets used to been tired. Also they have to be so

good at school and grown up that I think it can't last and home is a

safe enviroment to let out all this anger. Check with his teacher

that he is OK at school and take it easy when he is at home. Don't

expect too much from him. Let him veg in front of the TV/Video if

thats what he needs.

DS2 is probably having the same problems and is this is his way of

showing you that he is still your baby. Ignore the wet pants - just

clean then up and carry on without shouting at him (easier said that

done I know).

HTH

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

[Guest guest]

Thank goodness other people are going through this as well! DS1 started

Reception this month and is mornings only at the moment - he is horrendous

some of the time (although he did behave at Kirsten's house yesterday). He

is taking it out a bit on DS2 who is also getting a bit frustrated by it,

but thankfully he's being extra sweet with baby DS3. I've no idea what

he'll be like when he goes full time on 15th October, but then there's be

less time at home for having tantrums. Maybe I'll just put him to bed at

about 4pm ;o)))

Hannah

Re: Changes and children

phine wrote:

> Well, I'm having a horrid time. DS1 who started school - mornings

> only - this term is being absolutely awful

>>>>>>>>>

Trisha wrote:

Don't really have any advise, but I also have a child now 6 who comes

home from school so tired that everything ends in tears and screaming

fits .

[Guest guest]

Just one last thing - I always used to put the boys in their pyjamas

the minute they came home from school. If I left it to 6pm they were

past it and uncooperative but if I did it at 4pm then that was fine.

Even now DS2 will go and put his on, DS1 is more reluctnat.

Just a thought that might work for you.

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

[Guest guest]

> Just one last thing - I always used to put the boys in their pyjamas

> the minute they came home from school. If I left it to 6pm they

were

> past it and uncooperative but if I did it at 4pm then that was fine.

> Even now DS2 will go and put his on, DS1 is more reluctnat.

>

> Just a thought that might work for you.

>

> Trisha

> SAHM to 3 boys

I used to give my kids supper the minute they walked in the door from

school when they were still very young and would be in bed by six-7

pm. This saved the constant nagging for " nosh " leaving no appetite

when supper arrived. Very often the after school tantrums and

grizzling is due to pure hunger. The pajama idea is a good one

*provided* they are going to stay indoors till bedtime. Otherwise

they just get dirty and you have to change them anyway, which kind of

defeats the object!

Ruthie (nostalgic for those early bedtime days, now I go to bed way

before my kids most of the time!)

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your words of support.

Well after a paddy about going, (DS1) was fine today at school,

and when I picked him up at lunchtime he said he wanted to stay (what

*is* he putting me through?) All afternoon the boys have played rough

and tumble and minor injuries later have gone to bed.

I seem to be impacting on Ben (DS2) with his nappy obsession using a

star chart and little chocolate bribes. Wish me luck.

phine

(Mum to 4 & Ben nearly 3, Cambridge NCT, not out of the woods

yet!)

> Just one last thing - I always used to put the boys in their pyjamas

> the minute they came home from school.

[Guest guest]

Great pyjamas idea (yes, as long as it's raining) - and supper idea;

now who can explain how to get a recalcitrant big boy of 4 to put his

clothes on in time to take big sister to school?!!!

C aaro

[Guest guest]

Ooops - I don't bother - wellies & anorak over the top as we run out of the

door is about all I can manage some days :-)

L-Y

> Great pyjamas idea (yes, as long as it's raining) - and supper idea;

> now who can explain how to get a recalcitrant big boy of 4 to put his

> clothes on in time to take big sister to school?!!!

>

[Guest guest]

Caro wrote:

> Great pyjamas idea (yes, as long as it's raining) - and supper idea;

> now who can explain how to get a recalcitrant big boy of 4 to put

his

> clothes on in time to take big sister to school?!!!

> >>>>>>>>

Give in and put a snow suit over the top! Or let him wear

batman/spiderman/thunderbirds suit.

Or let him choose his own clothes.

In our house no breakfast until they are dressed - always a risk that

they could spill down their clean clothes but it does get them

dressed.

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

[Guest guest]

> In our house no breakfast until they are dressed - always a risk

that

> they could spill down their clean clothes but it does get them

> dressed.

>

I wish this worked in my house! My DS would happily go without

breakfast if I would let him, nothing gets him dressed except no TV

until he is! Not even that sometimes - anything to get out of going

to school is the in thing here - our school run takes 1/2 hour door

to door in the car :-( so often it ends up being a picnic breakfast

on the way - unsatisfactory but necessary. Messy too - I have to

brush him down in the school car park to remove bits of toast, cheese

or croissant (no yoghurt for breakfast on those days!) and woe betide

him if he spills his milk or orange juice down himself - we have gone

back to a baby beaker to reduce the chances of this. My 7 year-old

is a nightmare in every aspect of his life at the moment, his school

are assessing for Dyslexia severity (Dyslexia is confirmed), possible

Dyspraxia (assessment at hospital on 18th Oct), and ADH on top, as

well as sorting out bullies who are making his life a misery - oh,

and his Dad is away at sea taking part in the exercises in Oman -

it's me who needs the help of a shrink, or at least the listening ear

of comforting E-Mail friends....!

Just hanging on in there - just!

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Ruth wrote:

> I wish this worked in my house! My DS would happily go without

> breakfast if I would let him, nothing gets him dressed except no TV

> until he is <snip> My 7 year-old

> is a nightmare in every aspect of his life at the moment, his

school

> are assessing for Dyslexia severity (Dyslexia is confirmed),

possible

> Dyspraxia (assessment at hospital on 18th Oct), and ADH on top, as

> well as sorting out bullies who are making his life a misery - oh,

> and his Dad is away at sea taking part in the exercises in Oman -

> it's me who needs the help of a shrink, or at least the listening

ear

> of comforting E-Mail friends....!

> >>>>>>>>

Oh Ruth - life must be tough without DH about at the best of times

without the worry of what is happening.

I assume that you are in close contact with the school about the

bullies. Are they bullying him because of his Dyslexia and ADH?

Can you get more involved in the school? COuld you go in and listen

to the children reading? If the bully knows who the mum is and that

you are involved in the school and know who he/they are it might make

it more difficult for them to bully. Just a thought - don't know if

it would work.

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

[Guest guest]

>My 7 year-old

is a nightmare in every aspect of his life at the moment, his school

are assessing for Dyslexia severity (Dyslexia is confirmed), possible

Dyspraxia (assessment at hospital on 18th Oct), and ADH on top, as

well as sorting out bullies who are making his life a misery - oh,

and his Dad is away at sea taking part in the exercises in Oman -

it's me who needs the help of a shrink, or at least the listening ear

of comforting E-Mail friends....!<

Hugs Ruth

It sounds like they are having a good alround look at his difficulties, have

you seen the ADHD website www.adders.org ? It has loads of useful stuff on

it - my sister says that it has been one of the most helpful places she

knows (my nephew has ADHD)! The links section has links to both dyslexia

and dyspraxia websites. The main information section has some really

helpful stuff about ADHD. It has stuff about UK (english rather than whole

UK though I think!) schools' provision for supporting children with

different learning needs.

Once you all know why he learns differently from other children it should

make it easier for everyone. . If he is being difficult at home perhaps it

is because the tests are making him feel that there is something wrong with

him rather than that he is made differently (as we all are) and these tests

are to help others to understand more about how he learns so that they can

make things easier for him to learn. He probably needs loads and loads of

reassurance that he is wonderfully special to you - more times than you can

almost bear to tell him, especially if he is using up lots of your emotional

energy at the moment.

Trisha's suggestion about helping in class is a good one if you can. Its a

way of building a relationship with the teacher as well as the bullies.

Good home/school partnerships can be hard to come by - when they work they

make such a difference. Helps the teachers to feel that you are with them

when things get a bit tough for them. Also helps if you have a united front

when there are behaviours to challenge!

Ask lots of questions at the hospital - including the little ones and the

ones that are almost too scary to think about. Make sure that you get a

contact person & number so that you can ask more questions later if you

don't get another appointment. If you're not too shy to chat then there may

be other parents in the waiting room who know of useful sources of info and

support.

It must be so hard to go through the testing phase on your own - feel free

to chat here about it. There are others here who have been there. My DS1

has Asperger's syndrome which wasn't diagnosed until he was 11 - what a

relief to find out why he was different and how best to help him to learn.

He's still more of a challenge that his brother and sister, but at least now

we're no longer fishing in the dark!

Take care

Liz Goudie