RE: But wait a minute, guys....

[Guest guest]

You make sense Donelle. We might not be positive all the time but we sure

can't be down all the time either and we have to have hope. I am sure it

was a long day for you I just hope all went well,,, Big hugs to you.and

Glenn Jolene

But wait a minute, guys....

Give me a heads-up here....if you go around thinking negative all the time,

how can that possibly help at all?? Not only are you miserably sad and

worried about what is going to happen when....whatever is going to happen

happens,

(and I realize you can't always make those thoughts go away!!). but I will

have red swollen eyes from crying all the time. At least if you try to

keep

positive, you have " hope " ... hope for comfort, hope for happiness, hope for

cure...or whatever is to come in the rest of your life.

Anymore insight here....cause believe me I'm pretty down right now.... and

not liking it at all... more later...

donelle

In a message dated 11/3/2005 9:59:44 AM Eastern Standard Time,

milyandtheworld@... writes:

That thing about positive thinking is not really true. They have done a

research on that and it's not true. When I had first found out about my

cancer,

everyone used to tell me this. To them it was like a period, full stop, so

everyone could start talking about happier things. Sometimes i realize how

people really do not care about our cancer. Once I was so down that I have

decided

to confide my sorrows to a non cancer friend. Well she told me not to

worry:

" The important thing is to keep positive thinking " she said. Right after

this " very clever " advice she has started telling me how sad she was that

her

son didn't want to marrie his girlfriend. I got up from the couch, looked

at

her and said: I really do not care about your problems, they are so

insignificant compared to mine. I still see that lady, but my attitude

towards her has

changed radicaly. I don't give a damn about her. She knows that but she

doesn't want to live me. She calls me still.

Marty, please try to be a bit happy. Look around you, discover nature, the

beauty of this world.

We are still alive, why should we burried our lives before time?

Love,

Lydia

Marty and Ellen Grogin wrote:

How true...

I HATE it when the " outies " start giving me the positive thinking

stuff...real easy to say...then it becomes OUR fault if things don't go as

we'd like them to

Marty

On 11/3/2005 4:08:03 PM, colon_cancer_support wrote:

> Ingrid, thanks for the cheers.

> It's so easy for non-cancer people to say be positive and stay strong,

but

> we all here know how difficult that is sometimes. For me it's

> a matter of putting one foot in front of the other and going forward.

> After all, it sure beats the alternative.

>

> This board and my local support group have been two of the best things

> I've done for my emotional health since I started this journey. People

> like you and Kaye, Narice, , too many to name who are still here and

> some gone give me courage sometimes.

>

> I feel pretty good during the off weeks, then dread starting the Xeloda

> again, but I'm

> learning to cope, and when I compare with the stories here, I realize how

> much more difficult this has been for so many. It makes me complain less

> and I know my family appreciates that...lol

>

> Prayers for all.

>

>

[Guest guest]

hmmm now my mom believes in positive thinking, and so does Joe, but no one can

think positive all the time .

When we were going through the surgery/chemo with Joe , and then Dani's brain

surgery , I was extremely depressed , and all my sis in law said ( with her

perky lil attitude) was think positive!! I felt like saying to her , you wear my

shoes and then see how positive you will feel. It was a dark hole I tell you,

however I have climbed out of that hole ( thanks to some meds) and see a sparkle

in the future,

Joe on the other hand said he has accepted the facts that the cancer will come

back at some point( I am thinking positive dang it !) No more cancer ever!!

Deb

Jolene Ehret wrote:

You make sense Donelle. We might not be positive all the time but we sure

can't be down all the time either and we have to have hope. I am sure it

was a long day for you I just hope all went well,,, Big hugs to you.and

Glenn Jolene

But wait a minute, guys....

Give me a heads-up here....if you go around thinking negative all the time,

how can that possibly help at all?? Not only are you miserably sad and

worried about what is going to happen when....whatever is going to happen

happens,

(and I realize you can't always make those thoughts go away!!). but I will

have red swollen eyes from crying all the time. At least if you try to

keep

positive, you have " hope " ... hope for comfort, hope for happiness, hope for

cure...or whatever is to come in the rest of your life.

Anymore insight here....cause believe me I'm pretty down right now.... and

not liking it at all... more later...

donelle

In a message dated 11/3/2005 9:59:44 AM Eastern Standard Time,

milyandtheworld@... writes:

That thing about positive thinking is not really true. They have done a

research on that and it's not true. When I had first found out about my

cancer,

everyone used to tell me this. To them it was like a period, full stop, so

everyone could start talking about happier things. Sometimes i realize how

people really do not care about our cancer. Once I was so down that I have

decided

to confide my sorrows to a non cancer friend. Well she told me not to

worry:

" The important thing is to keep positive thinking " she said. Right after

this " very clever " advice she has started telling me how sad she was that

her

son didn't want to marrie his girlfriend. I got up from the couch, looked

at

her and said: I really do not care about your problems, they are so

insignificant compared to mine. I still see that lady, but my attitude

towards her has

changed radicaly. I don't give a damn about her. She knows that but she

doesn't want to live me. She calls me still.

Marty, please try to be a bit happy. Look around you, discover nature, the

beauty of this world.

We are still alive, why should we burried our lives before time?

Love,

Lydia

Marty and Ellen Grogin wrote:

How true...

I HATE it when the " outies " start giving me the positive thinking

stuff...real easy to say...then it becomes OUR fault if things don't go as

we'd like them to

Marty

On 11/3/2005 4:08:03 PM, colon_cancer_support wrote:

> Ingrid, thanks for the cheers.

> It's so easy for non-cancer people to say be positive and stay strong,

but

> we all here know how difficult that is sometimes. For me it's

> a matter of putting one foot in front of the other and going forward.

> After all, it sure beats the alternative.

>

> This board and my local support group have been two of the best things

> I've done for my emotional health since I started this journey. People

> like you and Kaye, Narice, , too many to name who are still here and

> some gone give me courage sometimes.

>

> I feel pretty good during the off weeks, then dread starting the Xeloda

> again, but I'm

> learning to cope, and when I compare with the stories here, I realize how

> much more difficult this has been for so many. It makes me complain less

> and I know my family appreciates that...lol

>

> Prayers for all.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Deb,

I know exactly how you feel. I try to think positive and I always

try to be positive around , but there are days where no matter

how positive you think you are the tough thoughts come to mind and it

depresses you. All summer long I had many days like this. I tried

keeping busy so as to keep my mind off of what was going on. I built

a 2 foot tall x 60 foot long rock wall at my parents place. It was

probably the best therapy I could ever get. Now I am redoing my

parents kitchen but with winter coming on I am sure those thoughts

will come again. Now with having a lump the thoughts are

hitting me full force and no matter how positive I think I am being I

can't help but think of worst case scenario's.

Dan

> > Ingrid, thanks for the cheers.

> > It's so easy for non-cancer people to say be positive and stay

strong,

> but

> > we all here know how difficult that is sometimes. For me it's

> > a matter of putting one foot in front of the other and going

forward.

> > After all, it sure beats the alternative.

> >

> > This board and my local support group have been two of the best

things

> > I've done for my emotional health since I started this journey.

People

> > like you and Kaye, Narice, , too many to name who are still

here and

>

> > some gone give me courage sometimes.

> >

> > I feel pretty good during the off weeks, then dread starting the

Xeloda

> > again, but I'm

> > learning to cope, and when I compare with the stories here, I

realize how

> > much more difficult this has been for so many. It makes me

complain less

> > and I know my family appreciates that...lol

> >

> > Prayers for all.

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Donelle,

Nobody's up all the time, and particularly when watching what this disease does

to someone we love. All I can do for myself is acknowledge that I'm going to

have some bad days and they'll pass. I can't suppress the anger or the fear or

the sadness, just indulge myself for a short while. I tell myself I'm allowed

one hour (or whatever seems appropriate at the moment) to feel this way and then

onward and upward. Now, that didn't work so well when I was losing my hair,

dumb as that seems.

I've got a book here written by Fran di Giacomo, a cancer survivor who has a

great sense of humor. It's called I'd Rather Do Chemo than Clean the Garage.

I'm not so sure about that, but it's funny and uplifting. You're right, we

can't go around sad all the time, just know those times are going to happen and

we'll get through them.

Keep smiling, sweetie, you're a great person who's been dealing with an awful

lot, probably much better than I would have. You have all my respect and

admiration for the job you're doing with/for Glenn. With hope, all things are

possible.

Prayers for both of you,

Grandmommyandme@... wrote:

Give me a heads-up here....if you go around thinking negative all the time,

how can that possibly help at all?? Not only are you miserably sad and

worried about what is going to happen when....whatever is going to happen

happens,

(and I realize you can't always make those thoughts go away!!). but I will

have red swollen eyes from crying all the time. At least if you try to keep

positive, you have " hope " ... hope for comfort, hope for happiness, hope for

cure...or whatever is to come in the rest of your life.

Anymore insight here....cause believe me I'm pretty down right now.... and

not liking it at all... more later...

donelle

In a message dated 11/3/2005 9:59:44 AM Eastern Standard Time,

milyandtheworld@... writes:

That thing about positive thinking is not really true. They have done a

research on that and it's not true. When I had first found out about my cancer,

everyone used to tell me this. To them it was like a period, full stop, so

everyone could start talking about happier things. Sometimes i realize how

people really do not care about our cancer. Once I was so down that I have

decided

to confide my sorrows to a non cancer friend. Well she told me not to worry:

" The important thing is to keep positive thinking " she said. Right after

this " very clever " advice she has started telling me how sad she was that her

son didn't want to marrie his girlfriend. I got up from the couch, looked at

her and said: I really do not care about your problems, they are so

insignificant compared to mine. I still see that lady, but my attitude towards

her has

changed radicaly. I don't give a damn about her. She knows that but she

doesn't want to live me. She calls me still.

Marty, please try to be a bit happy. Look around you, discover nature, the

beauty of this world.

We are still alive, why should we burried our lives before time?

Love,

Lydia

Marty and Ellen Grogin wrote:

How true...

I HATE it when the " outies " start giving me the positive thinking

stuff...real easy to say...then it becomes OUR fault if things don't go as

we'd like them to

Marty

On 11/3/2005 4:08:03 PM, colon_cancer_support wrote:

> Ingrid, thanks for the cheers.

> It's so easy for non-cancer people to say be positive and stay strong, but

> we all here know how difficult that is sometimes. For me it's

> a matter of putting one foot in front of the other and going forward.

> After all, it sure beats the alternative.

>

> This board and my local support group have been two of the best things

> I've done for my emotional health since I started this journey. People

> like you and Kaye, Narice, , too many to name who are still here and

> some gone give me courage sometimes.

>

> I feel pretty good during the off weeks, then dread starting the Xeloda

> again, but I'm

> learning to cope, and when I compare with the stories here, I realize how

> much more difficult this has been for so many. It makes me complain less

> and I know my family appreciates that...lol

>

> Prayers for all.

>

>

[Guest guest]

You are right...and so are you....

A time for peace, a time for war...

A time for love, a time for hate...

A time for tears...etc.

You know how it goes...

Marty

On 11/4/2005 2:07:03 AM, colon_cancer_support wrote:

> You make sense Donelle. We might not be positive all the time but we sure

> can't be down all the time either and we have to have hope. I am sure it

> was a long day for you I just hope all went well,,, Big hugs to you.and

> Glenn Jolene

>

>

>

> But wait a minute, guys....