Re: Favouritism

[Guest guest]

Trisha wrote:

>DH then told my mum that his mum was so lonely living by

>herself.

>The boys have just had 3 weeks of holidays where we have

>been in

>England and she has had DS1 to stay one night. She never

>asked to

>have them so as far as I am concerned she can't be that

>lonely.

Well, being lonely for an adult to live with you isn’t

exactly the same as missing your grandkids, IMHO. Not that

I have grandkids, but I know that daily adult company is a

lot different from spending a day or so with a child that

you have to cater to and take care of.

But yes, I do agree that she might spend more time with

your family (and not be so blatant about which grandkids

she seems to prefer!) if she wants people around to talk

to. But that would mean you’d see her more often, and you

haven’t mentioned if *you* could tolerate that

In some ways, I’d like to live closer to mine or DH’s

family, but on the other hand, it’s easy to stay out of

this sort of argument and live in what I like to call a

neutral 3rd party country

wrote:

>Please tell me I am not in the wrong! Is she just

>completely self obsessed?

>Shes willing to cut all of us out of her life, and to be

>hionest, DH couldnt

>care less anymore!

Maybe not self-obsessed, but she sounds insecure, as if she

feels rejected if you don’t fall all over yourselves in

rushing to cater to her every whim (including the ones that

she has never even hinted at). When I was a kid, I used to

go home and cry if friends didn’t invite me individually

and specifically to show that they *really* wanted *me*

with them. I have mostly grown out of it now, and (usually)

happily invite myself along.

You can either play along and expend a lot of energy (as if

you had tons of spare energy just lying around) massaging

her ego, or let her cut herself off, or take the middle

road and pay some attention to her (smile a big fake smile,

invite her over and take her picture and put in the album),

but don’t fall for the emotional blackmail.

Phyllis (apparently sorting out everyone else’s IL troubles

today while putting off getting any work done on the

newsletter)

__________________________________________________