Re: Favouritism was How would YOU have handled this?

[Guest guest]

> My MIL shows total favouritism to my BIL's children and to a certain

> extent to my eldest son.

>

> At my FIL's funeral she had primed the minister to say that Grandad

> thought of Carly as his little princes and Sam as his pal and she

> never even mentioned my boys once.

>

> DS1 looks like his dad (peas in a pod come to mind) and DS2+3 look

> more like my side of the family, also I only produced boys and not

> the perfect combination of one of each like SIL so that does not

> help.

>

> DH then told my mum that his mum was so lonely living by herself.

> The boys have just had 3 weeks of holidays where we have been in

> England and she has had DS1 to stay one night. She never asked to

> have them so as far as I am concerned she can't be that lonely.

>

> Sorry for the rabble it got a little long!

>

> Trisha

Trisha:

In defence of grannies in general (I don't know your MIL, she could be

a right old dragon for all I know!)

Not having your kids to stay doesn't necessarily mean your MIL wasn't

lonely. I would have to be pretty desperate to want Yoel to stay for

my OWN sake IYSWIM. Yoel's a pain in the butt although one day he

might be quite human! I did it for Tammy and Allan so that they could

have a break, not for company. If I was lonely and wanted company I

could think of many better ways to entertain myself than have a

whingeing five yr old to stay... I'd rather have had a hamster!! I'm

not saying your boys are whingers, maybe they would have been

excellent company for your MIL. Some of my older grandchildren

*would* have been wonderful company; my eldest grandchild is a girl

of 14.5.

My kids accuse me of favouritism towards Rafi..they say this jokingly

so I hope they aren't really hurt! It's just that he was with us for

5 weeks before his birth, six weeks after, I was there when he was

born and helped him to get started on breastfeeding. I do have a lot

of photos of him round my house tis true, but somehow I think that

when *he* turns into a whinger I'll go off him too )

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

Ruthie wrote:

> Not having your kids to stay doesn't necessarily mean your MIL

wasn't

> lonely. I would have to be pretty desperate to want Yoel to stay

for

> my OWN sake IYSWIM. <snip> Some of my older grandchildren

> *would* have been wonderful company; my eldest grandchild is a

girl

> of 14.5. >>>>>>>>

I know but she has not even had them to tea, either of my eldest

individually are great company. When they are together they can be a

pain, but individually they are good fun and grown up!

The reason they moved from Skegness (a nice decent drive away) to my

door step was so they could watch (in their words) the boys grow up.

She is missing all of that, she has no idea what goes on in their

life, who their friends are or anything. It makes me sad and angry

that she has so little interest in them.

We did go to the BBQ for her grandaughters 18th birthday and I did

behave myself and avoided her to the best of my ability!

s niece very pointedly took the birthday present given to her,

opened it inside, never said thank you and then proceded to put on

the jewellery bought for her by everyone else but not ours! She has

never sent a thank you letter in 18 years so I won't hold my breath

for one this time.

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys