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Re: Condolence letters

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Caro writes:

. I'd be

> very grateful if any of you have had letters of condolence for a

> mother to hear what things you found a comfort. (I didn't know her

> mother very well).

Just write it from the heart Caro - you can`t go wrong. Even if you say

'-I don`t really know what to say, or how you are feeling, but I want

to be here for you so give me a ring..'

Even if you didn`t know the mother - you are writing to support your

friend through a great loss. She may want to talk lots about her

mother - just let her, don`t change the subject, just listen.

Up until the funeral she may be busy making arrangements etc. After the

funeral is over can be a time when people feel the loss as they have

time to spare, so do follow up - even if she hasn`t got back in touch.

I am sure you know all this already ...

Barbara

(Mum died 1992)

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Caro

From my cousins experience (her mum died at Easter) all the cards and letters

meant a great deal to her. It did not matter wether the person had a vast fund

of kindly anecdotes ( sharing just baked cakes at the kitchen table) or that my

aunt had just briefly touched their lives, it was just the fact that somebody

had taken the time to write and say that they regretted my aunts passing and

that their thoughts were with us. One I remember had a piece of verse written in

it which waspart of the one my mum had selected for me to read at the funeral.

TBH when my MIL died the letters were quite overwhelming and the one thing that

DH & I noticed that very few made reference to how DH was coping - everyone

asked after and gave best wishes to FIL and poor DH took it really quite badly.

Caroline

Jersey

> ** Original Subject: Condolence letters

> ** >

> Hello everyone

> Whilst well versed unfortunately in many types of bereavement, I've

> not experienced the death of one of my parents. One of my friends'

> mother died on Sunday and I'm trying to write a letter to her. I'd be

> very grateful if any of you have had letters of condolence for a

> mother to hear what things you found a comfort. (I didn't know her

> mother very well).

>

> There is also a motherless-mother group isn't there? What sort of

> comfort do they give apart from support?

>

> thanks

> sombrely,

> Caro

Germain

Jersey

British Channel Islands

49D11'N

02D07'W

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