Re: Visiting Preschools ... or ... The Autie Magnet

May 1, 2003

In a message dated 5/1/03 8:14:24 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

weya@... writes:

> Okay, I'm waxing poetic now, so I'll just leave it here. I just needed

> to share those 2 little boys with all of you. :-)

>

> Debbie with twins

>

Oh thank you Debbie!

The Grammas & Keion

May 1, 2003

Debbie, that sounds wonderful! Have you picked a school for Jordan yet?

Visiting Preschools ... or ... The Autie Magnet

I already posted about the aftermath of visiting some of the preschool

classrooms. But some very touching events occurred while I was visiting

too. Grammas, your concerns about Keion knowing/showing love made me

think of the interactions I had with 2 little boys while I was

observing. In my mind, they were examples of children unable to

interact appropriately but making the effort to connect in any way they

can ... the friendliness of a child coming through in very small or odd

gestures.

First touching event occurred with a little boy named . He was

playing with an alphabet puzzle in the 2nd classroom I visited. He was

a bit older (4-5?) and clearly autistic ... trilling, finger flicking,

and more entranced by the holes in the R, P, O, Q, etc than the letters

themselves. The teacher introduced him to me and I said " Hi " ...

and got no response from him. Jordan has taught me that just because

there is no response, does not mean they didn't hear you or they are

ignoring you. So I happily moved on to the little chair against the

wall to be unobtrusive and observe. I happened to be sitting to 's

back.

A good five minutes, abruptly twirls to face my direction, comes

running at me trilling and stops just inches from me. He flicks his

fingers at me, makes a good deal of sounds at me, and holds eye contact

for gee, a good minute which is a long time. I decide this is 's

greeting and so I respond with a big smile and a cheerful " Hi " . He

holds the gaze for a couple long seconds longer and then runs back to

his puzzle.

Another 2 minutes go by while busily takes letters out and puts

them back after examining the holes. He twirls again and takes a

running leap into my arms (good thing I have good reflexes, lol). I

give him a big hug, to which he arches his back and just hangs from my

arms, lovely autie hug. He chirps and trills happily as he hangs from

me. Finally I say, " , you need to stand up straight ... so you

don't fall. " He straightens and runs back to his puzzle. He plays

another minutes before repeating the running hug with a huge smile. I

had made a friend.

Soon after that 2nd hug, it was time for gym, so I moved on to the 3rd

classroom.

In the 3rd classroom, I watched 8-9 little boys and girls doing art

projects for mother's day. After they cleaned up, the teacher declared

it was time to go outside to play. A little white blonde boy went

running for the door ... he was clearly eager to go outside. The

teacher gently redirected him twice as he tried to open the door to head

down the hall ... telling him he must wait until everyone has coats on.

Cameron, comes up with a solution to an intolerable wait ... he finds

himself a toy train and lays himself on the floor beside my chair,

pressing his face against the floor and watches the wheels turn as he

slowly rolls the train in front of his face. Ahhh, I have seen this

before, I think to myself.

Shortly after, the teacher calls to Cameron that it's time to go, and he

eagerly gets up to take the teacher's hand for the walk down the hall to

the door outside. He pauses for a second after taking the teacher's

hand, and then silently reaches his other hand out and takes mine.

Clearly, he has just invited me to come to outdoor playtime. I take his

hand and stand. The teacher asks me to hold another little girl's hand

instead, " If you want to hold a hand, could you hold hers instead? " I

tell her, " I didn't take his hand, he took mine " with a smile. But I

help out by holding the other little girl's hand instead (teacher told

me she was a runner so I gladly helped). Cameron goes off with the

teacher and spends outdoor time running around by himself, perfectly

happy (of course). But again, it seemed that I had made a friend.

It was interesting to me that in two of the three classrooms, the

autistic children were somehow drawn to me. Maybe because I understood

their attempts to interact and responded positively rather than by

withdrawing from strange behavior? But what made them want to interact

with me in the first place? I don't know. But those two little boys

touched me deeply in such small ways. They are part of the positives

that I'll remember from those classroom visits.

Jordan has taught me it's the small gestures that show he loves me. My

son is very affectionate by nature, so he's not cold to me. But neither

is he like my daughter who will say, " Oh Mom, I love you. " His

affection is shown in small smiles, his teasing nature, his desire to be

cuddled, the fact that he seeks me out when he is upset, and the very

rare hug or kiss.

Okay, I'm waxing poetic now, so I'll just leave it here. I just needed

to share those 2 little boys with all of you. :-)

Debbie with twins

- Jordan (ASD) 2.5yo

- (NT) 2.5yo

May 1, 2003

,

I still have to visit the special needs preschool at my local elementary

school. I am also waiting to hear if the county will approve a " sensory

rich " preschool with a high emphasis on communication and language

skills. If they do approve the sensory rich preschool class ... it may

be the best choice for Jordan at this point ... I am still talking to

the various professionals that deal with Jordan about this proposed

class and their thoughts on it. And I don't want to make up my mind on

anything until I have seen (or heard about) all the choices available.

I visit the elementary school on May 13th. Not sure when the MFE review

meeting will be but they are supposed to have it completed by May 16th.

I've been warned that the IEP meeting probably won't happen until end of

July/beginning of August when the teachers return to work. I'm not

quite sure when I have to make a final decision on placement.

Debbie with twins

- Jordan (ASD) 2.5yo

- (NT) 2.5yo

Re: Visiting Preschools ... or ... The Autie

Magnet

Debbie, that sounds wonderful! Have you picked a school for Jordan yet?

May 1, 2003

Debbie,

What is MFE? I am still learning all the terms. I keep forgetting that most

states are different than Maine in that children become part of the SD at 3. In

Maine it is 5. attends a school for just Autistic children.

How do you think Jordan and will do with being separated?

Hugs

Re: Visiting Preschools ... or ... The Autie

Magnet

Debbie, that sounds wonderful! Have you picked a school for Jordan yet?

May 1, 2003

,

MFE stands for " Multi Factored Evaluation " ... I'm sorry, I should have

written that out. I am *still* learning all the lovely acronyms that go

along with school for special needs children. People with older

autistic children toss around MFE, IEP, BIP ( " bip " , not b-i-p), PLOP

( " plop " not p-l-o-p) and many more acronyms and slowly slowly I am

learning what they all stand for.

As for Jordan and being separated, Jordan already goes to Early

Intervention preschool twice a week in the mornings. On rare occasions

has not wanted to leave him there but 99.9% she's perfectly happy

with Mommy-Daughter time. Next year, will be going to regular

preschool twice a week ... so she'll have her " own school " . When we

visited the preschool, she was so funny ... " Bor ME???? " she kept

asking. " Yes, , for you! " " Hooray!!!! " she cheers. She made

herself right at home during our visit, so I think she'll be very happy.

Jordan ... he doesn't seem to mind separating from ... " she's

here, she's not here " it's all the same to him. Or at least, that's how

he acts.

Debbie with twins

- Jordan (ASD) 2.5yo

- (NT) 2.5yo

May 1, 2003

Debbie,

LOL thanks! I know IEP but not the others. But I do feel like I can speak a

language that is just for Moms of special needs. Trying to explain something to

my MIL and I started with " Well the school finished 's ELAP so now it will

be sent to EI at CDS and he will have an EIP. Not sure why it is a EIP instead

of a IEP but maybe because its preschool or ABA. He used to have an IFSP " but

then I stopped when I noticed that her eyes glossed over and said " the school

have set up new skills to work on with " LOL

Glad that Jordan and will be fine apart and who knows they may enjoy their

time together even more. sounds so sweet and ready for school.

Warm Regards

& ASD 11/25/00 in Maine

RE: Visiting Preschools ... or ... The Autie