Re: Glenn update...11/20/05

[Guest guest]

---

Donelle,

Stop worrying about the house, no one expects you to have it spotless

with what you are going thru, besides thats what family and friends

are for. If I lived close, I would come help. Hospice will help also.

When I had my surgery, and my mom was in her last days, they sent

some-once a week to clean, even do shopping, if needed.You have to

take care of your self now too, or you will get really sick.You do

not want to be now. All my prayers are with you, just wish I could

help some way. Sue

In colon_cancer_support , Grandmommyandme@a... wrote:

>

> Good morning to all our friends and family...

>

> First of all, thank you to all who have called, visited, brought

food, sent

> cards, emails, positive thoughts and prayers....one of those

prayers has been

> answered. And, I'm feeling so grateful today. Glenn has been

agonizing

> silently, deep within, (my opinion) for quite a while, but more so

the last

> week, about the situation with his Mom and brother (ILL) and

sister (TX). Out

> of the blue, he quietly said, " I think I should call Dennis and

let them come "

> and I quietly said, " I think you should and hopefully, unburden

your heart " .

> He immediately called his brother last night and told him to come

and bring

> his Mom...didn't call his Mom....told Dennis to do it for him.

But, would

> not agree for to come... I hope she comes anyway. With

Glenn, there is no

> " gray " , it's either " black " or " white " ...right or wrong. He

doesn't agree

> with 's life-style, simply put. But I'm still working slowly

on him about

> this...he really has no right to judge and she is his sister. His

Mom had

> sent me a check, unbeknownst to Glenn, to help out with expenses...

I'm so glad

> I didn't tell him about it BEFORE he made this decision. At least

I know

> the decision came from his heart and not out of a feeling of

obligation. I'm

> very relieved about this...and just pray he doesn't change his

mind again. I

> had asked her to make copies of any childhood photos she or Dennis

have or

> scan them and email them to me...I wanted to try that tactic,

thinking

> childhood memories would jog his heart. I still want the photos,

as I'm attempting

> to gather things for a scrapbook for his son and daughter.

>

> Health-wise...what health?? LOL I've lost almost 30 lbs., which

won't hurt

> me a bit, btw...in the last couple months. First of all, Glenn is

not

> cooking and 2nd, I'm having some tummy problems, which I'm sure

are stress-related

> and just plain being heart-broken and sad. Glenn is just plain

tired and

> so very weak, sleeping a lot, which will just increase as time

goes on. Some

> times, his voice is but a whisper...or nothing comes out at all.

But, thank

> God, he's not suffering daily with any pain...the pain patch is

working

> marvelously. And whenever there is break-through pain of any

kind, I give him an

> oxycodone. His color is, as Narice calls it, a golden glow. He

has days

> where he's very lightheaded all day long. Yesterday was one,

again. I checked

> his b/p (82/54...low but has been running low for a while), blood

sugar

> (116...never ever that low before) and temp. All were fine, so

just started

> forcing salt, water and gatorade, b/c of the diarrhea. His

appetite is great, he

> eats anything he wants, even knowing there might be diarrhea

repercussions,

> which he has anyway. The " bruising " marks we talked about before

caused by

> the liver not functioning properly are now all over both arms,

shoulders and

> back with some on his knees and upper thigh. He itches all the

time (part of

> the progression) and when he scratches, the " bruising " bleeds,

even if he

> just uses his fingertips and not nails. Dr. prescribed a Sarna

Lotion, which

> Hospice brought last week and Benadryl for the itching...the

lotion helps, but

> he had an adverse reaction to the Benadryl of stomach irritation,

so we

> stopped that and the pain is gone.

>

> For those that asked, we prepared a Will, DNR, Medical Directives

and all

> that stuff 2 yrs. ago...so that's all taken care of. I've

verified with

> Arlington that he is eligible, just for his knowledge and

comfort.

>

> Hospice is great so far...comfort, physically, emotionally and

mentally, is

> the name of the game. Nurse comes on Mondays to check vitals, fix

a light

> lunch for him, etc. and Social Worker is coming one day a week to

help Glenn

> get some memories recorded on tape, so I don't have to write it

all down... he

> may be more open with her than me, too, about some things. Bath

Aide is

> coming one day a week, fix a light lunch and just to be here while

he showers,

> if he wants to that day, but mostly just to get to know her, so

he's

> comfortable with her when the time comes she is needed. She will

also change the

> sheets, if need be. A volunteer will come one day, fix a light

lunch for him

> and just sit and talk with him or watch TV or just " be " with him

for a couple

> hrs (on a day I'm working). I'm working from home on Tues. now

and off Fri.

> Sat. and Sun. So, at least for now, he'll be given lunch and

fluids at least

> once a day, while I'm gone to work, on those days that he's in bed

all day

> long...

>

> It is definitely the proverbial " roller coaster " ride these

days...running

> the gambit on emotions. All I can do for him is try to make him

comfortable

> and let him know I love him and God loves him. Anything more than

that

> becomes too emotional for me to handle without tears...and there

are things I want

> to say and things I want him to say...but most have all been said

somewhere

> along the way in the last 6 yrs.

>

> Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving...My sister is bringing

us dinner

> and I'll cook a turkey, so we have the smell of Thanksgiving going

on...and

> lots of turkey sandwiches to enjoy..yummy!! Guess I'll have to

make a

> pumpkin pie, too!! Can't have thanksgiving without pumpkin

pie!!! Enjoy and give

> thanks for each day we've been given and we will, too!!!

>

> Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

> Caregiver to Glenn

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Donelle, My heart goes to what both of you are going through. God has

given you both so many happy times together. So glad that Glenn is

going to talk to his family again. At least it will give his mom and

brother some peace in thier hearts and yours too. I am Praying so

hard for the both of you. Love, Ingrid

>

> Good morning to all our friends and family...

>

> First of all, thank you to all who have called, visited, brought

food, sent

> cards, emails, positive thoughts and prayers....one of those

prayers has been

> answered. And, I'm feeling so grateful today. Glenn has been

agonizing

> silently, deep within, (my opinion) for quite a while, but more so

the last

> week, about the situation with his Mom and brother (ILL) and

sister (TX). Out

> of the blue, he quietly said, " I think I should call Dennis and

let them come "

> and I quietly said, " I think you should and hopefully, unburden

your heart " .

> He immediately called his brother last night and told him to come

and bring

> his Mom...didn't call his Mom....told Dennis to do it for him.

But, would

> not agree for to come... I hope she comes anyway. With

Glenn, there is no

> " gray " , it's either " black " or " white " ...right or wrong. He

doesn't agree

> with 's life-style, simply put. But I'm still working slowly

on him about

> this...he really has no right to judge and she is his sister. His

Mom had

> sent me a check, unbeknownst to Glenn, to help out with expenses...

I'm so glad

> I didn't tell him about it BEFORE he made this decision. At least

I know

> the decision came from his heart and not out of a feeling of

obligation. I'm

> very relieved about this...and just pray he doesn't change his

mind again. I

> had asked her to make copies of any childhood photos she or Dennis

have or

> scan them and email them to me...I wanted to try that tactic,

thinking

> childhood memories would jog his heart. I still want the photos,

as I'm attempting

> to gather things for a scrapbook for his son and daughter.

>

> Health-wise...what health?? LOL I've lost almost 30 lbs., which

won't hurt

> me a bit, btw...in the last couple months. First of all, Glenn is

not

> cooking and 2nd, I'm having some tummy problems, which I'm sure

are stress-related

> and just plain being heart-broken and sad. Glenn is just plain

tired and

> so very weak, sleeping a lot, which will just increase as time

goes on. Some

> times, his voice is but a whisper...or nothing comes out at all.

But, thank

> God, he's not suffering daily with any pain...the pain patch is

working

> marvelously. And whenever there is break-through pain of any

kind, I give him an

> oxycodone. His color is, as Narice calls it, a golden glow. He

has days

> where he's very lightheaded all day long. Yesterday was one,

again. I checked

> his b/p (82/54...low but has been running low for a while), blood

sugar

> (116...never ever that low before) and temp. All were fine, so

just started

> forcing salt, water and gatorade, b/c of the diarrhea. His

appetite is great, he

> eats anything he wants, even knowing there might be diarrhea

repercussions,

> which he has anyway. The " bruising " marks we talked about before

caused by

> the liver not functioning properly are now all over both arms,

shoulders and

> back with some on his knees and upper thigh. He itches all the

time (part of

> the progression) and when he scratches, the " bruising " bleeds,

even if he

> just uses his fingertips and not nails. Dr. prescribed a Sarna

Lotion, which

> Hospice brought last week and Benadryl for the itching...the

lotion helps, but

> he had an adverse reaction to the Benadryl of stomach irritation,

so we

> stopped that and the pain is gone.

>

> For those that asked, we prepared a Will, DNR, Medical Directives

and all

> that stuff 2 yrs. ago...so that's all taken care of. I've

verified with

> Arlington that he is eligible, just for his knowledge and

comfort.

>

> Hospice is great so far...comfort, physically, emotionally and

mentally, is

> the name of the game. Nurse comes on Mondays to check vitals, fix

a light

> lunch for him, etc. and Social Worker is coming one day a week to

help Glenn

> get some memories recorded on tape, so I don't have to write it

all down... he

> may be more open with her than me, too, about some things. Bath

Aide is

> coming one day a week, fix a light lunch and just to be here while

he showers,

> if he wants to that day, but mostly just to get to know her, so

he's

> comfortable with her when the time comes she is needed. She will

also change the

> sheets, if need be. A volunteer will come one day, fix a light

lunch for him

> and just sit and talk with him or watch TV or just " be " with him

for a couple

> hrs (on a day I'm working). I'm working from home on Tues. now

and off Fri.

> Sat. and Sun. So, at least for now, he'll be given lunch and

fluids at least

> once a day, while I'm gone to work, on those days that he's in bed

all day

> long...

>

> It is definitely the proverbial " roller coaster " ride these

days...running

> the gambit on emotions. All I can do for him is try to make him

comfortable

> and let him know I love him and God loves him. Anything more than

that

> becomes too emotional for me to handle without tears...and there

are things I want

> to say and things I want him to say...but most have all been said

somewhere

> along the way in the last 6 yrs.

>

> Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving...My sister is bringing

us dinner

> and I'll cook a turkey, so we have the smell of Thanksgiving going

on...and

> lots of turkey sandwiches to enjoy..yummy!! Guess I'll have to

make a

> pumpkin pie, too!! Can't have thanksgiving without pumpkin

pie!!! Enjoy and give

> thanks for each day we've been given and we will, too!!!

>

> Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

> Caregiver to Glenn

>

>

>