Re: Re: A little overwhelmed ..../Cliff

November 4, 2005

In a message dated 11/4/2005 4:15:38 PM Eastern Standard Time,

cliffh@... writes:

A little overwhelmed? " I'm " overwhelmed. " You " must be devastated!

I'm trying to be positive but this is so damn unfair. I'm so sorry

to read what you have written. I think we all see the signs but it

is a shock to have to call hospice.

Prayers coming your and Glenn's way...

Cliff H.

Thanks, Cliff, for the prayers....yes, I am devastated. But I got through

today and I'll get through tomorrow and one day the sun will shine again for

me. We still have time to make some memories, even if it's just spending time

together lying on the bed holding him trying to warm him when he shivers

with chills. Maybe we can get to a movie or even drive to the ocean and sit

beneath a lighthouse, if we can get the diarrhea under control. Hospice will

be

here tomorrow and I'll know more, I'm sure. They are in the business of

" end of life care " ...and that's what I'm wanting for Glenn...some pain-free

days

and comfort with loved ones checking in and letting him know how much he's

loved.

He told me tonite he doesn't want his brother, sister and mother to see him

in the condition he's in....he hasn't spoken to any of them for months. Long

story... but it has really bothered me and I've kept in touch with his

family and let them know what is going on....against Glenn's wishes. But he

hasn't

found out yet...tee hee

As a Mother myself, I can only imagine how devastated I would be if one of

my sons would not talk to me or let me come visit...under any circumstances,

much less if they were so very ill. I truly believe these amends Glenn needs

to make are the reason God kept him here after the surgery... he still has a

job on this earth to do. I really think Glenn, tough guy Federal Coast Guard

Cop, does not want to show emotion in front of his Mom and brother and I

think he fears he will if he sees them.

Any words of wisdom what I might say to Glenn, in a way he won't just

totally shut down and say " No " ....which is what he usually does when we discuss

this.

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

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