Re: surgery vs. quality of life

[Guest guest]

Patty,

My heart goes out to you, this a very difficult

decision to make, and, like you said, it has to be HER

decision. I think it is okay to let her know how you

feel and that whatever she decides is ok and you will

support her decisions.

Sometimes docs are hesitant to recommend palliative

care up front but she needs to know that it is an

option. She should ask what the surgery and any other

types of treatment can be realistically expected to

achieve for her and will the benefit outweigh the side

effects/risks?

When my husband(then 51)was diagnosed at an advanced

stage IV, he chose to not have any surgeries and do

palliative chemo to control symptoms and improve

quality of life instead. It was hard, but I supported

his decision and we made a conscious decision to enjoy

every moment that God gave us, making the memories we

wanted to keep. We got just over a year and most of it

was good, quality time in which he was able to do the

things he wanted to do without pain or being terribly

ill. I, and our children cherish those good memories

and have no regrets about his decision. For us, the

quality of life was/is more important than the

quantity.

This would not be the right decision for many, but it

was for us. I think it is most important that you let

your mom know that it is her decision and you will

love her and care for her what ever she decides.

Hugs & Prayers,

H

--- ggdork wrote:

> HI all-

>

> My mother (age 70) was diagnosed with colorectal

> cancer last

> november. She has also had severe rheumathoid

> arthritis since 1979,

> and has been on prednisone pretty much the whole

> time. She lives in

> Houston and was lucky enough to get into MD

> . They gave her

> low levels of chemo (because of her RA) for 8 months

> which helped

> the liver but really had little impact on her colon.

> In September

> the CT scan showed the liver clear, but when they

> followed up with a

> PT scan it showed several tumors in the liver. So

> now the doctors

> are looking at surgery as an option. The prednisone

> use is a

> concern, but otherwise they feel she will make it

> through the

> procedure. They plan to go in and remove the

> blockage from her

> colon, and then if everything goes well with that,

> the liver surgeon

> would step up and remove half of the tumors in her

> liver. Two months

> later they would go back and remove the remaining

> liver tumors. The

> doctors have admitted the possiblity that she may

> not recover fully

> and regain the quality of life she has now. My

> brother and I, who

> live in Austin, wonder of the possibility of her not

> having sugery

> and moving them closer to us (and the grandkids) and

> continuing

> with chemo and possibly radiation. Obviously this is

> my mother's

> decision to make, and really we can't be sure of a

> beneficial

> outcome in either scenario, so I'm wondering- has

> anyone else been

> faced with a decision like this? Should we voice our

> preference to

> her (to not have surgery) or is that selfish? I'm

> completely at a

> loss here...

>

> thanks for reading, and God Bless-

>

> Patty

>

>

>

>

__________________________________

Yahoo! FareChase: Search multiple travel sites in one click.

http://farechase.yahoo.com

[Guest guest]

Hi Patty, you may not like my answer, but i'm 69 years old. I had

rector cancer, I had chemo and radium to shrink the tumer, so he

could take it out and resection my bowels. It is rough, butI kept

telling myself, I'm living, I can get over this, have 10

grandchildren. the operation was in feb. of this year, had 3 nodes

out of 12 taken out, had cancer in the 3. so they said more chemo and

radium, i took the chemo but didn't take the radium again.it is just

too hard on the body. had a colostomy, just went to the hospital

last monday to have the colostomy out. doing ok, but tough.

what i'm going to say is === it is her decision --- i would hate to

think of my kids telling me not to have the chemo or operation. I

know i didn't have the liver problem, but each problem is tough. I

also think you should leave her in her own house, if she can handle

it. If you think no one to take care of her then, maybe move her

closer toyou. when she need the help, someone has to be there. my

hubby has been wonderful to be there for me and take care of me. he

is 80 years old, but in good health. it's going to be rough enough

on her

without leaving her home. we like things to be familiar. she will

need someone there every day all day and night. the chemo is rough

to take.

i live in Ohio, my one daughter lives in Saettle, she came and stayed

4 weeks with me. is there some one to stay with her?? it's for the

long haul, not a short time thing.

I hope i have given you somethings to think about in her care. but

don't tell her not to have the operation.

-hanky

[Guest guest]

Karima, I hope you cold gets better. So glad you are online again.

Let me know when you will be passing through Indianopolis. Love,

Ingrid

> >

> > Ah Hil your family is the best. I know that sense of humor -

we

> have it

> > here as well. I think that is an important part of the quality

of

> life. If

> > you find that husband let me know where so I can go there and

look

> too.

> > LOL!!!

> >

> > Cheers Jolene

> >

> >

> >

> > Re: surgery vs. quality of life

> >

> >

> >

> > I have to tell this though I said I would not. I have laughed

all

> day. We

> > all have quite a sense of humor here and I hope nobody takes

this

> serious.

> > Of course I told my daughter the Dr said I had another 20 yrs

now.

> She said

> > you mean we have to take care of you THAT long! I said well now

> maybe I will

> > just find me a husband since I have so much time and she

replied

> good idea,

> > he can take care of you. Later I heard her tell a friend on

phone.

> You think

> > you have problems we got my mother for another 20 yrs! Of

course

> she knew I

> > could hear her.

> >

> >

> > Hil

> > Re: surgery vs. quality of

life

> >

> >

> > Hil,

> >

> > you sound great!!! and it sounds wonderful to me.

> >

> > karima

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Jolene, Hurry up and win that lottery. I want to go on a cruise!!!!

LOL Love, Ingrid

>

> Okay Donelle that works for me. LOL.. If I win the lottery I will

pay for

> the cruise for all of us. LOL. Hey I can spend money even if it is

pretend.

> Jolene

>

>

>

> Re: Re: surgery vs. quality of life

>

>

>

>

>

> In a message dated 11/9/2005 7:09:21 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> jehret@h... writes:

>

> Oh well maybe I have better luck winning lottery and just

> hire someone to help with the house and yard.. Then I can take my

own

> trips,

> alone. No that won't work either. Oh well such is life. I will

survive.

> Take care all Jolene

>

>

>

> Yep...try for the Lottery...LOL We can meet and go on trips

together!!!

>

> Donelle

> Caregiver to Glenn

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Don't think we would have the worries. LOL Us B's would surely out

attack the pirates. I think the piriates would have some real fears

when all of us are together and gang up on them. Ingrid

>

> I am open to suggestions. LOL Jolene Not along the coast of

Africa though,

> did you read about the Carnival cruise ship that was nearly

attacked by

> pirates but they went full speed ahead and out ran them.. But they

said it

> was a very organized bunch. Scarey. Hate to think what havoc they

would have

> created if they had gotten on board. Jolene

>

>

>

> Re: Re: surgery vs. quality of life

>

>

>

>

>

>

> So where are we cruising to?

> Narice

>

>

> In a message dated 11/9/2005 12:25:27 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> Grandmommyandme@a... writes:

>

>

>

> In a message dated 11/9/2005 10:50:13 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> jehret@h... writes:

>

> Okay Donelle that works for me. LOL.. If I win the lottery I will

pay for

> the cruise for all of us. LOL. Hey I can spend money even if it is

> pretend.

> Jolene

>

>

>

>

> We have to continue to " hope " and " dream " ....

>

> Donelle

> Caregiver to Glenn

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

>

>

>