Guest guest Posted May 2, 2003 Report Share Posted May 2, 2003 ************************************************************************ Sound the all clear! Stop Hoarding the Fritos! You, in the back row, put that down! This hazardous, peril-fraught world has yet to kill you (presuming you're actually YOU reading this, that is), so you need a break. A respite from the paranoia and panic of hand-washing, mask-breathing and scaredy-cat millionaire baseball players (Like you're gonna see A-Rod on the subway?). The kind of respite you might find at the 11th Annual Mark Nesbitt Spiritual Healing and Psychic Regeneration Weekend ( " Now available in Tasty West Nile Flavour " ) on August 8th, 9th and 10th. Come and join the literati, the illiterati, the hoi polloi and the great unwashed, the insanely healthy and the immunosuppressed, all crammed into one crappy campsite at Rock Point Provincial Park , just down the road from the cultural capital of South western Ontario, Dunnville. For those unaware, unenlightened or unconscious, this is a big honkin' camping weekend, with much frivolity, swearing, bursts of comedic genius, and a diminishing consumption of alcohol (as attendees age and bring children). Show up Friday and stay the weekend, show up Saturday and stay the night, or show up and leave again the same day, giving the hearty campers someone to laugh at after you leave. In a good-natured way, of course. Come along with family, friends, that guy that always asks you for a Loonie at the King Station, your mom, dad, Oprah, kids, grandkids, U.N Peacekeepers, Bush's conscience (c'mon, who has it?) or anyone you can fit in your car. People who get this invite third hand by email are especially encouraged to attend, as there's more of us then there are of you. Resistance is futile. Special rate for any campers arriving with any wanted international terrorists courtesy of the new Ontario Parks discount program (sponsored by the CIA) entitled " It'S addamm Good Deal " ® Bring your tents, your sleeping gear, your Hell's Angels Repellent ( ask...it's a fun story), lawn chairs, cats, dogs, budgies (a cat's gotta eat) Frisbees, ugly sweaters, food, drink, cooking materials, personal chef, extra socks (your mom would approve) a hat, swimming trunks, cooler, polo ponies, lawn darts (with waiver) a few bucks and a sense of humour. You must have one. I know, because you're still reading, no? For those with a penchant for danger, there is a snack bar at the beach just down the road from the site. Also a store to buy camping crap like chips, mix, ice and chips. And ice. Feel like a hike? Just remember, I lifted this from the park's web site. " Hunting in this park is subject to the Ontario Hunting Regulations. Certain restrictions apply. " Uh...ok. The whole deal costs about five bucks per person per night, payable to Ranger Rick at the front gate when you arrive. Ask for Group Site 2, the Nesbitt Family Party. Yes, you're now a Nesbitt. Congratulations. Oh, and feel free to buy a bag of firewood at the store and bring it along. We do a mean campfire; sometimes we even wait for it to get dark. So, come along. Find your own damn way to the park, I'm tired of drawing freakin' maps. It's in section P-12 of my map. That's all I'm giving you. Come and say hi to my new kidney, and visit with it's former owner...such an opportunity! Questions? Call me at . I might even answer. (The 11th Annual Mark Nesbitt Spiritual Healing and Psychic Regeneration Weekend is an equal opportunity inviter. If you feel slighted or offended in any way by this invitation, we ask you to please read it again. Still offended? That makes you offended AND stupid, for reading it twice. What a maroon.) **************************************************************************** ********************************************************************************\ ****************** The contents of this email and any attachments are confidential. It is intended for the named recipient(s) only. If you have received this email in error please notify the system manager or the sender immediately and do not disclose the contents to any one or make copies. ** MedicAlert scanned this email for viruses, vandals and malicious content ** ********************************************************************************\ ****************** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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