OT - this year's Nesbitt invite. REad it and giggle.

[Guest guest]

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Sound the all clear! Stop Hoarding the Fritos! You, in the back row, put that

down!

This hazardous, peril-fraught world has yet to kill you (presuming you're

actually YOU reading this, that is), so you need a break. A respite from the

paranoia and panic of hand-washing, mask-breathing and scaredy-cat millionaire

baseball players (Like you're gonna see A-Rod on the subway?).

The kind of respite you might find at the 11th Annual Mark Nesbitt Spiritual

Healing and Psychic Regeneration Weekend

( " Now available in Tasty West Nile Flavour " ) on August 8th, 9th and 10th.

Come and join the literati, the illiterati, the hoi polloi and the great

unwashed, the insanely healthy and the immunosuppressed, all crammed into one

crappy campsite at Rock Point Provincial Park , just down the road from the

cultural capital of South western Ontario, Dunnville.

For those unaware, unenlightened or unconscious, this is a big honkin' camping

weekend, with much frivolity, swearing, bursts of comedic genius, and a

diminishing consumption of alcohol (as attendees age and bring children). Show

up Friday and stay the weekend, show up Saturday and stay the night, or show up

and leave again the same day, giving the hearty campers someone to laugh at

after you leave. In a good-natured way, of course.

Come along with family, friends, that guy that always asks you for a Loonie at

the King Station, your mom, dad, Oprah, kids, grandkids, U.N Peacekeepers,

Bush's conscience (c'mon, who has it?) or anyone you can fit in your car.

People who get this invite third hand by email are especially encouraged to

attend, as there's more of us then there are of you. Resistance is futile.

Special rate for any campers arriving with any wanted international terrorists

courtesy of the new Ontario Parks discount program (sponsored by the CIA)

entitled " It'S addamm Good Deal " ®

Bring your tents, your sleeping gear, your Hell's Angels Repellent ( ask...it's

a fun story), lawn chairs, cats, dogs, budgies (a cat's gotta eat) Frisbees,

ugly sweaters, food, drink, cooking materials, personal chef, extra socks (your

mom would approve) a hat, swimming trunks, cooler, polo ponies, lawn darts

(with waiver) a few bucks and a sense of humour. You must have one. I know,

because you're still reading, no? For those with a penchant for danger, there is

a snack bar at the beach just down the road from the site. Also a store to buy

camping crap like chips, mix, ice and chips. And ice.

Feel like a hike? Just remember, I lifted this from the park's web site.

" Hunting in this park is subject to the Ontario Hunting Regulations. Certain

restrictions apply. " Uh...ok.

The whole deal costs about five bucks per person per night, payable to Ranger

Rick at the front gate when you arrive. Ask for Group Site 2, the Nesbitt Family

Party. Yes, you're now a Nesbitt. Congratulations. Oh, and feel free to buy a

bag of firewood at the store and bring it along. We do a mean campfire;

sometimes we even wait for it to get dark.

So, come along. Find your own damn way to the park, I'm tired of drawing

freakin' maps. It's in section P-12 of my map. That's all I'm giving you. Come

and say hi to my new kidney, and visit with it's former owner...such an

opportunity!

Questions? Call me at . I might even answer.

(The 11th Annual Mark Nesbitt Spiritual Healing and Psychic Regeneration Weekend

is an equal opportunity inviter. If you feel slighted or offended in any way by

this invitation, we ask you to please read it again. Still offended? That makes

you offended AND stupid, for reading it twice. What a maroon.)

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