Re: Pocket Money

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 06/09/01 12:19:04 GMT Daylight Time,

nct-coffee writes:

>

> > It seems my eldest DD (12) is feeling hard-done-by on the pocket

> money

> > front. At the moment, she gets £2 - £3 per week, which she earns

> doing a

> > How much do those of you with similar aged kids give them?

> And do

> > they have to earn (any of) it?

>

I use the family allowance to pay their pocket money. My kids get their age

in money per month ie: 5 yr old gets £5 , 14 yr old gets £14 this is their

basic and doesn''t get cut (although I do threaten from time to time). I have

told my DS that his money doesn't go up beyond 18 I expect him to earn any

extra and once I no longer receive family allowance (no longer in fulltime

education) I stop paying him at all. I expect them to do certain things each

day anyway like emptying the dishwasher, putting out the rubbish, hanging out

the washing without paying them for it. There are times when I offer an

incentive but not often because we went through a stage where whenever they

were asked to do ANYTHING they asked how much they were getting paid for it

which drove me mad.

With the system now they know exactly how much they are getting, it increases

as they get older and it seems fair to them being based on age.

Donna

Mum to (17)

Kimberley(16), Kayleigh(14),

(11), Kara (4) [homebirth at last]

[Guest guest]

> It seems my eldest DD (12) is feeling hard-done-by on the pocket money

> front. At the moment, she gets £2 - £3 per week, which she earns doing a

> regular chore (emptying the dishwasher in the morning)

My two girls are 13 and a half and 12. They have always been treated the

same - same bedtime, same pocket money etc. Which may be a bit unfair -

would be if we had more children but we don't - but it seems to work for us.

We have had £3 per week pocket money for all of the last year until very

recently when we have upped it to £5 per week.

We have experimented with clothes money/allowance/giving it monthly etc and

have come back to £5 per week each and I buy their clothes.

We mainly upped it for the older one - I realised that she really was

falling behind her peers - which I got from the mothers rather than the

girls themselves :-) They are expected to do chores.

Each day they are expected to tidy their bedroom, make their bed, leave

their bathroom (they share one) tidy, clean out the cat litter (Honestly, it

*was* their choice!!!), feed the cats and hamsters, and generally help me

with daily stuff like the dishwasher and washing machine.

What I have started doing these holidays which seems to work well is doing

my own thing (emailing/breastfeeding line/NCT work or even paid work) till

an agreed time - mid morning usually, then switching off the TV for the

younger and waking the older. Then they have to get themselves ready - ie

their bodies and their rooms and when we three are all ready we tackle the

rest of the house together. Otherwise I can find myself doing *all* the

chores while they apply lip gloss!!!!!

When I go to work I come home at 1.15 (in the hols anyway) and I expect to

find the kitchen tidy. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't!

Tisn't perfect but we get by. Chores and 'work' have been known to cause

more arguments than anything else in this house.

Sue

[Guest guest]

Thanks, and to Jenni, too - we've settled on £4 p/w with no tasks and she

can add to it by doing extra chores. The dishwasher is no longer a paid

job - but she still has to do it, as I think there should be some notion of

sharing house jobs. I will pay for swimming/cinema trips etc.

I couldn't let her stack the dishwasher - it'd drive me mad. Even DH does

it wrong But unpacking it... well, she does drive me mad, but as I say I

think children should have some jobs and that's the one that drives me

*least* mad!

Vicki Portman

http://www.plushpants.co.uk

Akiko wrote:

My 12 year old gets £5 p.w. and I pay for her cinema trips as it

costs a minimum £4.50 just to get in to the cheapest of our local

cinemas. My 15 year old gets £15 p.w. but she does pay for her

outings herself. To be honest, they don't do any chores but that's

really my fault because I am so fussy about how things are done,

especially how the dishwasher is stacked and how the plates and mugs

are put away in the cupboard; I just get wound up if they do

it " wrong " and have to redo it all! Sad really!!

[Guest guest]

I used to work for pocket money from age 13. I started at Birdworld, Farnham

(for those that know it), getting paid £1 an hour working in the kitchen!

Then worked next door at Forest Lodge coffee shop until 18 every Saturday

and sometimes Sunday too whilst at college, getting the huge amount of £2.20

an hour which I thought was great.

Hannah, 27

Mum to Bethany 7, Lawrence 5 1/2, Verity 3, Alfie 6 months

Visit me on the web at :-

http://hannahshome.20m.com

[Guest guest]

>I used to work for pocket money from age 13.

Ditto. Well actually started a bit earlier than that helping grandad

out at a little boat hire place by the seaside - I used to take the

money and got free rides in return!

I had a paper round from 13 which I shared with my brother - 400 free

papers. Then Woolies cafe at 15, then their shop floor, then WHS.

Worked all school hols as well as Saturdays. At 17 I got a pub job

collecting glasses and did that til 1am every Friday, got up a 7am to

work in WHS then back to the pub on Sunday evening for their membership

night where I used to sign up new members.

--

Sue

[Guest guest]

I have found this tread really interesting to read.. Can I ask though When did

you all start giving Pocket money (what age).. I never did get pocket money and

I always felt that this was not a good idea (made me very obsessive abut having

any money at all - I think because my mother was not very consistent with what

you could and couldn't have) Dh did get pocket money but he can't recall how old

he was when they started (nor can he remember how much lol)

Lonnie Phoebe & Eloisa's mama

& expecting a Christmas delivery...

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you

start.

So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a Chocolate cake.

I feel better already.

[Guest guest]

We've gone for £4, with a homily along the lines of what I was saying to you

on the phone! You've never seen a girl look so guilty...

Anyway, her £4 is sacrosanct and will come to her on a Saturday morning.

She can spend it on whatever she wants. I will still buy clothes/hygiene

type cosmetics, and fund outings, though - so it's purely to spend on

discretionary stuff. So, I'll buy her deo and clearasil, but if she wants

lip gloss she'll have to get it herself (and wear it where I can't see!).

I'll pay for her swimming but if she wants a Mars Bar she'll get it herself,

iyswim!

Vicki Portman

http://www.plushpants.co.uk

I do

buy her things on other occasions, I hasten to add...Vicki, let me

know what you decide in the end pliz!

Caro

[Guest guest]

I'm ashamed to say my 12 yo only gets £1.20 a week ie only 10% of

what

> Donna gives hers! and am thinking of revising upwards very rapidly

> and had been thinking of £5 a week...seems I'm in the dark ages over

> here! (obviously a hangover from my holiday activities!). I do

> buy her things on other occasions, I hasten to add...Vicki, let me

> know what you decide in the end pliz!

>

> Caro

Yeshaya got £6 a week before he went to yeshivah but he hardly had to

pay anything at all out of that; so it mainly went to saving up for

his mobile phone bill! I paid for all his outings, meals out, cinema

etc. £6 isn't very much for a sixteen yr old by the sound of it!

Had a few calls from him today; Friday is the yeshivah's version of

Sunday. In Israel Sunday is a normal school/working day; but recently

people have been objecting to having only Sabbath off the whole week,

which, if they are observant Jews, means they can't do much! so it has

become accepted that most places have Friday off as well. So, since

it's only his second day there, and his two flatmates (Americans, and

he seems to get along with them very well so far) have gone out, he

had nothing to do and nowhere to go, so he went to our house. I

suppose that's fair enough, and I presume his visits there and his

calls home will decrease as he settles in more. He certainly seems

happy so far, no real complaints. He was trying to get email using my

PC but the connection didn't work, not sure why.

Dh worries about the learning side of things, did Yeshaya get his

Talmudic texts OK, (yes) has he got study partners,(yes) did he get up

in time for services? (he only fell asleep at 4.30 a.m., too excited

and nervous, so he put his alarm on snooze and missed services, but

woke at 8 a.m. which for him is the middle of the night! He has been

used to waking at noon since he left school.)

I worry about other things; who helped him make his bed (he has

*never* put a duvet inside a duvet cover or a pillow inside a pillow

case in his life!)...well Dov did, apparently. What will he eat for

Sabbath meals? (Yeshivah food sounds OK to him.) Has he unpacked and

put everything away? (Yes). Has he put his case away tidily? (evasive

answer so I can presume it's lying around the room getting dusty.)

How is the shower in his room? (It take half an hour to get hot and

it's dirty and mouldy but it's fine Mum).

In that yeshivah (as with many in Israel) they have alternative

Sabbaths " in " and " out " ( " out " meaning they have to get themselves

invited to someone for meals or to sleep, as no food will be provided

by the yeshivah.) This week it's an " in " Sabbath, and Rabbi M sleeps

in our basement flat, as he lives too far away to walk over; next week

it's " out " . Yeshaya is *very* lucky he doesn't have to scrounge

around for invites on the " out " weeks as many boys do...he has his two

sisters, and quite a few cousins lining up to invite him. As he gets

more familiar with the setup no doubt he will invite a less fortunate

friend along with him for Sabbath.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

>

> From: " Akiko Hickey " Subject: Re: Pocket money

>

> > My 12 year old gets £5 p.w.

>

> And Donna : (sorry to put you two through the third degree) ...

what

> are they expected to buy with this ?

Well, you've got me there! Seriously, she is a great fan

of " Claire's Accesories " and Boots, so it goes on lots of junk

really; cheap jewellry, make up etc. Also sweets etc on the way home

from school and sometimes it's saved up for presents for friends and

family. I think she likes the idea of having money and there is

probably a small hoard of £1 coins in her room somewhere. Also, I

have been known to borrow the odd fiver when I don't have any change

for the Pizza Hut delivery man....

Akiko

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 07/09/01 20:30:32 GMT Daylight Time,

nct-coffee writes:

> And Donna : (sorry to put you two through the third degree) ... what

> are they expected to buy with this ? Does it extend at all to any

> clothes? And, out of interest, what do they buy with it?! I suppose

> they would be able to buy a CD every three or so weeks with that

> amount...

>

>

I buy clothes (although at times they do shop at the local charity shops for

weird and wonderful outfits) and fund family outings. They buy make-up,

magazines, fast food, cinema trips, jewelry, birthday presents for friends

and CD's. My son saves up and buys PC games.

I pay the money straight into their accounts along with their dinner money

for school once a month so they do get a decent amount in one go but they do

have to budget it. I pay the same money every month even if they are on

holiday from school with the proviso that they buy swim passes or fund a trip

somewhere rather than just waste it. The youngest one pays her dinner money

direct to school weekly, the next 2 get £40 a month for dinners and buy their

own food if they want packed lunches, the oldest 2 at college get £80 a month

for dinners, photocopying, additional notepads, pens, files etc (above what I

have already bought).

I started the pocket money system about 4 yrs ago following lots of arguments

about who had had how much for what so this was an easier system. Kara has

money paid into her account but in reality I buy everything for her but when

she has enough she uses the money to buy something big that she wants like a

new garden swing or slide.

I also think that if they are happy with what they are getting don't worry

about it. You can never win with kids I still get told by mine that such and

such gets £20 a week why can't we have that and have to point out to them

that such and such is an only child whose parents can afford to as they have

no others asking for the same.

Donna

Mum to (17)

Kimberley(16), Kayleigh(14),

(11), Kara (4) [homebirth at last]

[Guest guest]

Oh Ruthie, I am biting my lip with giggles at the stereotype that this

conjures up!

Anneliese and Toddler Tim

________________________________________________________________________

Message: 12

Date: Thu, 06 Sep 2001 10:56:52 -0000

From: ruthie@...

Subject: Re: Pocket money

> It seems my eldest DD (12) is feeling hard-done-by on the pocket

money

> front. At the moment, she gets £2 - £3 per week, which she earns

doing a

> regular chore (emptying the dishwasher in the morning) and which she

can

> supplement by choosing to do additional chores, which carry a tarrif

> (hoovering the living room, cleaning the car etc) which she almost

never

> does How much do those of you with similar aged kids give them?

And do

> they have to earn (any of) it?

>

In our household a basic pocket money was unconditional, extras had to

be earned. We never cut the kids' basic " pay " for any misdemeanour,

but they could definitely earn more either by excellent behaviour or

by doing chores.

When I was a very small girl (around 4) Mum hadn't yet started giving

me pocket money, she thought I was too young. I obviously didn't

agree, so I took ALL my toys, lined them up on the front wall outside

our house, and sold the lot to the neighbours' kids! When my mother

found out, she had to run round all the houses giving everyone their

money back and retrieving my toys, but she got the hint!

Ruthie

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

> Oh Ruthie, I am biting my lip with giggles at the stereotype that

this

> conjures up!

>

> Anneliese and Toddler Tim

GRIN!! What stereotype? A hard bitten money grabbing businesswoman?!

:-))

Ruthie