Re: My sorry little roller coaster ride-To Jay

[Guest guest]

-----

`

`Ingrid: Thanks for the boost! You have read me right... I do have to keep

busy and occupied, hence work will do me more good.

Thank you for putting me back on track! The CEA has gone up a bit, but not

startling.

Thanks to all for all your kind words... I thought I was tougher than this,

but this afternoon I melted. Jay

----

It really hurts because we fight so hard with no

rewards.

Jay, Right now they are going to treat it as the worst until they can

decide if this is anything or not. They cannot lie to you and have to

tell you. But suppose it is NOT!!!! How is your CEA count? This

could be anything.

And if it is the dreaded.... Then it may of been worse without the

last round of chemo. We have no sure way to know.

But whatever it is you will have to take it by the horns and fight

it. Just that it is honestly to soon to be cancer again.

Yes, I know you are angry, shocked and scared. We all here are

fighting this damm scared feeling each and everyday. There are still

alot of options out there to fight this if it turns out to have come

back. And the fact the doctor is not sure!!!!!

They have to tell you the worst.

Yes, you are the type that has to stay busy to keep from falling

apart. If that is what you need then do it.

I am Praying so hard for you!!!!! Just for now wait and give this

the time. It may be nothing!!!!!! Love, Ingrid

>

> I remember when you got your scan... It is so hard to grapple with

bad news. I will ask for my report and maybe we can all read it and

put some positive light on it. ...

>

> I actually saw the picture. Compared to my last PET in April,

there was a noticeable difference. The doctor now wants another scan

in about a month to compare and plan a course of action. What really

is discouraging is the fact that I was NED in April and did this last

round of FOLFOX as a precaution to kiss this cancer good by... It

really hurts because we fight so hard with no rewards.

>

> It is encouraging to hear success stories, and so maybe I need to

focus my energy on the successful fighters out there. I am going to

go run 3 miles now and then sit in the hot tub. The kids are with

their mother this weekend and they went to the mountains.

>

> Tomorrow I go to work and will be in Sydney. Maybe that will get me

to change my ugly attitude right now.

>

> Thanks !

> Re: My sorry little roller

coaster ride-To Jay

>

>

>

>

>

> Monday I had my PET scan, and today I saw Dr. Napoli.

> I am crying now... dont know what the f*ck to do. I have two

spots on my

> liver. Doc said they are not cysts. I have to be scanned in

another month,

> and the port will have to stay in.

>

> Jay: I am so sorry to hear this news. It is a shock. Are the

spots clear?

> What else did the doctor say? Did you receive a written copy of

the

> radiologist's report? If not, please ask your doctor to fax it

to you. Believe

> me, my report that I got from my scans last week had a LOT more

info in it than

> I got from talking to my oncologist. In my case, they don't

know what they

> are looking at either.

>

> I was told that no one knows what they are seeing on my liver

and I just

> have to wait for 4 more chemo cycles till they do another scan.

It could

> possibly be just inflammation. As for the hemangioma, I know

that is what the

> radiologist's said I had before I was diagnosed Stage 4. They

thought that was

> what was on the liver but it wasn't -- it was a 3.9 c.m. tumor

>

> Jay: don't get drunk now. Save that liver. You will have more

clarity

> with more information. It seems highly unlikely that it is a

recurrence so

> fast. And, even if it is, they can shrink those suckers with

chemo + Avastin.

> It may be nothing. Keep asking questions of your oncologist and

read the

> reports and compare them with the earlier scan reports. You are

a survivor and

> this isn't going to change that.

>

> in California

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

If it helps any...think about being thankful that you CAN run....

I was able to keep it up through 9 cycles, but since then, not enough

strength TO run....

I am just looking forward tob eing able to run again, after the hell of the

treatments ens in another week plus...

Not trying to tell you how to feel...it ALL stinks, anyway, just trying to

help from the outside with a bit of perspective...

Marty

On 10/22/2005 4:06:41 AM, colon_cancer_support wrote:

> Yes. FOLFOX6 ammended to the 12 cycles of 5FU. So a total of 18 - 10 day

> cycles; the last 6 were the FOLFOX6. No Avastin.

> Sounds like a plan (the hot tub and candles!)... I so need to change my

> thought patterns. Thats the bonus this group has to offer- not sure how I

> would vent without this group. My kids are too young. I am going for the

> run now as the kids just left. Dang this cancer...

> Re: My sorry little roller coaster ride-To

> Jay

>

>

> Jay: when you say you did the last round of chemo, was that in addition to

>

> the initial 12 cycles? I can't imagine being able to endure that. Were you

> on Folfox plus Avastin (I have forgotten). This is not fair. Light some

> candles and put them around your hot tub and look up to the sky. It is a

> beautiful night.

>