Re: Terrible Twos

[Guest guest]

In short Annelise, it's a phase and it will pass (hugs 'till then).

In long -

My DS1 (now 14) was bitten during his early days at playgroup(just turned 3)

& still had the mark at the end of the morning. Playgroup leader told me it

had happened and that the biter & his mum had said sorry. I heard no more

about it, and didn't even know who had done it until DS1 started primary

school (5 yrold) and as we walked across the playground on the first morning

he pointed and said that's .... he bit me at playgroup! They were in the

same class right through primary school, are both at the same secondary

school now and have been good friends on and off for the last 3 or 4 years -

so no lasting harm done :-)

DS2 was bitten by a toddler I was childminding - happened a couple of times,

I kept the response low key explained briefly that it had hurt and not to do

it again and then made sure that ds2 got most of the attention to get

focused again on playing before spending a bit of time making sure the

toddler was calm and interested in the toys we had out before letting them

interact again. If it had been the other way round I doubt if I would have

been so calm about it!

I think that biting is a phase that they go through - probably a result of

frustration the first few times, if it goes on after that it may be because

the resulting fuss felt better than the original frustration/bordeom. Just

my 2p, some toddlers do, some don't - it's not the end of the world in my

book. It's all part of learning about the world around you and how to cope

with it. When you are 2 it's hard enough to explain to your mummy, who wants

to know, how difficult things are - let alone expecting another toddler to

understand that you are frustrated, so bite, push, kick, hair pull, spit,

scream etc seem to say it much more clearly. It takes a while to understand

that you don't do these things because other people have feelings and are to

be respected.

Coping strategies - don't let other parents reactions get to you, their

toddler's aren't angels either what ever they want you to think. Watch for

Tim's frustration/boredom level when he's playing with other children and

try and distract/divert him before he can't cope with sharing things(toys,

space, attention etc) or the mismatch between his ambition and abilities.

Some days it's hard to be 2 and hard to be a parent of a 2 - but they are so

cute when they are cute :-)

Liz Goudie