Guest guest Posted September 6, 2001 Report Share Posted September 6, 2001 I had to make what felt like a rather weird decision today/yesterday.. a friend had told me that she had met her old childminder in the playground with 8 kids with her (she was back when my friend used her only licecend for 5) and she now minds 2 kids who's mother I know from the toddler group I help run.. (mother no longer comes to said group as she has started working).. however their aunt still comes every week and recently I have become very friendly with her (you know that early stage where you are thinking you are really nice and I would like to get to know you better).. Well her son goes to the playgroup that Phoebe goes to so I see her at least 3 times a week.. so after much pondering I decided to tell her as I felt that I would want to know if it was my children.. I kept it quite short just said to her that I would want to know if it was me and that perhaps her sil did not mind or knew but I just felt it would be better to pass it on.. She said actually you have made a decision easier for me as I have been told by someone else that this childminder " swaps " kids with another childminder if they have errands to run or when the pick up school kids (they both have the max of small kids they are allowed so I don't see how this could legally work) and she had been pondering about telling her sil as she felt that this was only second hand information but with what I had just told her she wanted her to know.. I found it really hard though I guess because it is like you are challenging someone's judgement.. In my heart I felt that I have done the right thing but part of me still feel like I was passing on gossip... In the toddlergroup that I help run there is 5 childminders.. only one of them would I be willing to leave my kids with.. one over school holidays regularly have 10 kids (as some are over 8 you can't do a lot) another was minding a baby (6 mnt) baby's father arrived to pick up baby early and found no one home as it was just around school pick up time he waited around a little (knowing she minds 2 kids after school) and when she arrived she arrived with school kids 2 toddlers she minds but no baby.. when he asked where his child was he was told upstairs in the house sleeping.. she had not wanted to wake baby so had popped out to pick the school kids out as baby would probably not wake anyway..... (so baby had been left alone in the house)... a 3rd minder I watched hit a child then turn around and say to another minder Oh his mother doesn't believe in smacking but what does she know!!!!!.... when one of the other mothers questioned this with her she said Oh you new young mother all your idea's you don't know anything.. (said child is no longer in her charge I think someone tipped mother off).. Only one of the minders do I think is wonderful she currently has 2 kids but she used to have 3 one has moved away.. But I watch both kids come up to her for cuddles and wanting books read and she just has endless patience with them.. the kids are obviously happy in her care and feel safe as they have that way around her that you only see in kids who are comfortable around the adult they are with.. She also is really lovely to talk to and I often sit and have a word with her .. Should I ever need a childminder I have no doubt in my mind I would ask her.. Sorry this sounds like a sound of on childminder's and I know that there is many good ones around (and I do know other's than this one) I just don't get why it turns into something that horrid and money grapping after all it is children we are talking about.. Lonnie Phoebe & Eloisa's mama & expecting a Christmas delivery... My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a Chocolate cake. I feel better already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 6, 2001 Report Share Posted September 6, 2001 Lonnie, I am with you all the way. If the childminders are minding more kids than they are licensed for or doing something directly against the parents’ wishes, I would definitely tell. I have an acquaintance whose minder I see with her son in the park frequently, and for some reason, I feel that something is wrong. Since I haven’t seen or heard anything really wrong, I can’t say anything. But the son, who always smiles and says hi to us when he’s with his mum, never does when he’s with the nanny. Just this morning, Max was definitely having more fun with the slides when Calvin and I got there and were talking to him, etc, as the nanny was seated on the other side of the play area, not even paying attention. There are some childminders that come to one of the playgroups I take Calvin to, and a few in particular (well, one specifically!) who never intervene even if their charges are brutally attacking smaller children. It’s up to the mums of the other kids to try to protect their darlings and teach the brutes how to get along in society. My little darling is a bit of a monster at times and can be pushy and hit and all, but he gets in trouble for it. Finding a good childminder is so hard and you never know what’s going on when you’re not there. I don’t want to say your friends have to be your spy network, but in a way, they do. Better than hidden CCTV cameras in all the rooms of your house... Phyllis __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 6, 2001 Report Share Posted September 6, 2001 > Sorry this sounds like a sound of on childminder's and I know that there is many good ones around (and I do know other's than this one) I just don't get why it turns into something that horrid and money grapping after all it is children we are talking about.. > > Lonnie Phoebe & Eloisa's mama > & expecting a Christmas delivery... It's difficult isn't it! That's why I am personally not comfortable leaving my children in paid childcare - unless you know the person really well, and even then sometimes, you just don't know what goes on in the privacy of their own home. I also used to see a lot of childminders when I was heavily into the toddler group scene with my oldest two, and can honestly say I only ever met one that I would have left my children with - she was a very genuine lovely kind lady who obviously loved and cared for the children she brought to toddler group - and the children adored her. I also met a lot that I wouldn't leave my children with in a million years. Hannah, 27 Mum to Bethany 7, Lawrence 5 1/2, Verity 3, Alfie 6 months Visit me on the web at :- http://hannahshome.20m.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 6, 2001 Report Share Posted September 6, 2001 Lonnie wrote: > I had to make what felt like a rather weird decision today/yesterday.. a friend had told me that she had met her old childminder in the playground with 8 kids with her >>>>>>>>>>>>>.. I think I would have been with you on that one and mentioned the number of children she had. Also leaving the baby in the house - that is totally unacceptable - anything could have happened. I have never used a childminder but we have 2 nurseries here and I looked around both of them. The 1st one had a baby in a big Silver Cross Pram with a sheet over the top " to stop the olders ones throwing things into it " Well, she then lifted the sheet up to show the baby laid in the pram with a bottle in its mouth. With the amount of noise in the room there is no way they could have heard that baby choking. Guess which nursery never got my child! Trisha SAHM to 3 boys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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