Guest guest Posted August 31, 2001 Report Share Posted August 31, 2001 > > CHILDREN > > > > A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they > > drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As > > she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the > > drawing was. The girl replied, " I'm drawing God. " The teacher paused and > > said, " but no one knows what God looks like. " Without missing a beat, or > > looking up from her drawing the girl replied, " They will in a minute. " > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 5 and > > 6 year-olds. After explaining the commandment " Honor thy Father and thy > > mother, " she asked, " Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat > > our brothers and sisters? " Without missing a beat one little boy answered, > > " Thou shall not kill. " > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > An honest 7-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had > > kissed her after class. " How did that happen?, " gasped her mother. " It > > wasn't easy, " admitted the young lady, " but three girls helped me catch > > him. " > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the > > dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother > > had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her > > brunette hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, > > " Why are some of your hairs white, Mom? > > > > Her mother replied, " Well, every time that you do something wrong and make > > me cry or unhappy, one of my ! hairs turns white. " The little girl thought > > about this revelation for a while and then said, " Momma, how come ALL of > > grandma's hairs are white? " > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > A 3-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning > > home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens > > and two girl kittens. " How did you know? " his mother asked. " Daddy picked > > them up and looked underneath, " he replied. " I think it's printed on the > > bottom. " > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to > > persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. " Just think how > > nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say: " There's > > ; she's a lawyer, or That's . He's a doctor. " A small voice > > at the back of the room rang out, " And there's the teacher. She's dead " . > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. > > Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, " Now, boys, if I stood on my > > head, the blood, as you know would run into it, and I would turn red in > > the face. " " Yes, sir, " the boys said. " Then why is it that while I am > > standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my > > feet? " A little fellow shouted, " 'Cause yer feet ain't empty. " > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > For weeks, a 6-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowe! d the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The 6-year old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the > > boy on her lap and said, " Tommy, whatever became of that baby brother or > > sister you were expecting at home? " Tommy burst into tears and confessed, > > " I think Mommy ate it! " > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, " If anyone has > > to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers. " A little voice from the back > > of the room asked, " How will that help? " > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year > > old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the > > shower. She said, " Mommy, you are getting fat! " I replied, " Yes, honey, > > remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy. " > > " I know, " she replied, " but what is growing in your butt? " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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