Guest guest Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 Beth, I am tired of being bounced from one doctor to another. The ortho guy doesn't want to touch me because of the seizures, he's afraid it was the anesthesia but I can barely walk on my right leg because of the knew. He says get the seizure thing figured out then surgery. My quality of life is so crappy and yes I know I am feeling sorry for myself but darnit when does it stop. The pulmo guy is worried about my heart rate and the side of effects of the propoinal (sure it's spelled wrong) are terrible. They have me on the highest dose of Lortab they can give but they are afraid of depressing my breathing with pain meds. Then there's my wrist which gets worse every day. It is getting hard to type or mouse and if I lose my one contact with the outside world, my computer, I just don't know what I will do. On a good note I now have a service dog who alerts me when a seizure is coming and I know to immediately sit or lie down where I am at.. He is a Pom/Chi mix and weighs about 3 pounds but he's not a yapper, very calm and watches me alertly. I am blessed to have him. I am so scarred up from falling and have had two concussions since surgery because of seizures. I hate it that I can not drive for another 12 months. That's 12 months without a seizure. It just feels endless. I had to see my therapist yesterday because I feel so suicidal all the time. I am sorry to be such a downer but there are so many different doctors, so much I can't do and I feel like a rat trapped in a maze with poison cheese at the end. Can you talk to Bruce and find out if he will forgive me? He is so wise and it hurts my heart that he hates me so much he won't answer my posts. I wish I could take back the words I said but I can't. I am an useless idiot. I just want it all to stop not. Sunny 51 PF '09, Lupus/Sjogrens/Arthritis/Asthma '04, GERD '04, Barrett's Disease '08, Hyperthyroid '08, CAN '09, Hiatal Hernia '09, Idaho From: Beth Sent: Wednesday, August 12, 2009 2:05 PM To: Breathe-Support Subject: Re: Is it worth it? Sunny, I am sorry that you are suffering so. I don't understand how they could be comtemplating something like carpal tunnel surgery and surgery to correct your pronation when you have serious and severe lung disease not to mention some unknown and uncontrolled type of seizure disorder. It doesn't make any sense. Tell everyone to back off and concentrate on the doctors who are trying to figure out your most urgent issues. Look after yourself! Beth Moderator Fibrotic NSIP 06/06 Dermatomyositis 11/08 From: "rpickel1 (AT) msn (DOT) com" <rpickel1 (AT) msn (DOT) com>To: Breathe-Support Sent: Wednesday, August 12, 2009 4:34:21 PMSubject: Is it worth it? Today the pain is so bad in my legs, arms and chest. I am having to keep my O2 higher than usual just to keep above 90%. Sometimes I just wonder if it's worth the fight. I guess maybe it's the rainy weather but I feel like I just don't want to do this anymore. They are now saying I need carpal tunnel surgery on both wrists, ortho on my right knee and ankle surgery to correct pronation. Too much, I really mean it's just too much. On another note, Bruce can you forgive me. I keep writing and you keep ignoring my pleas. Won't you please take a moment and let me know we are alright? I am truly sorry I lost my temper. Life is too hard to have someone mad at me. Sorry for being such a downer. Sunny 51 PF '09, Lupus/Sjogrens/ Arthritis/ Asthma '04, GERD '04, Barrett's Disease '08, Hyperthyroid '08, CAN '09, Hiatal Hernia '09, Idaho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 Sunny I haven't noticed your pleas. I don't read every post every day but do try to respond to anything directly to me. So if my name is at the start of the post I see it. But, I've been away quite a bit between my medical tests and 's mother's open heart surgery. So, if you've asked me something I've overlooked then please send me a private message or start the post off with my name and I'll try to see it and respond. As to your losing your temper, I really don't recall or have any hard feelings. > > Today the pain is so bad in my legs, arms and chest. I am having to keep my O2 higher than usual just to keep above 90%. Sometimes I just wonder if it's worth the fight. I guess maybe it's the rainy weather but I feel like I just don't want to do this anymore. They are now saying I need carpal tunnel surgery on both wrists, ortho on my right knee and ankle surgery to correct pronation. Too much, I really mean it's just too much. On another note, Bruce can you forgive me. I keep writing and you keep ignoring my pleas. Won't you please take a moment and let me know we are alright? I am truly sorry I lost my temper. Life is too hard to have someone mad at me. Sorry for being such a downer. > > Sunny 51 PF '09, Lupus/Sjogrens/Arthritis/Asthma '04, GERD '04, Barrett's Disease '08, Hyperthyroid '08, CAN '09, Hiatal Hernia '09, Idaho > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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