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I received this in response to the Holland post, just wanted to share

WELCOME TO BEIRUT by F. Rzucidlo

(Beginner's Guide to Autism)

" I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with

autism-to try

and help people who have not shared in that unique experience to understand

it, to

imagine how it would feel. It's like this.. "

There you are, happy in your life, one or two little ones at your feet. Life

is

complete and good. One of the children is a little different than the other

but of

course, he's like your in-laws, and you did marry into the family. It can't

be all

that bad. One day someone comes up from behind you and throws a black bag

over

your head. They start kicking you in the stomach and trying to tear your

heart out.

You are terrified, kicking and screaming you struggle to get away but there

are

too many of them, they overpower you and stuff you into a trunk of a car.

Bruised

and dazed, you don't know where you are. What's going to happen to you? Will

you

live through this? This is the day you get the diagnosis. " YOUR CHILD HAS

AUTISM " !

There you are in Beirut, dropped in the middle of a war. You don't know the

language and you don't know what is going on. Bombs are dropping " Life long

diagnosis " and " Neurologically impaired " . Bullets whiz by " refrigerator

mother " "

A good smack is all HE needs to straighten up " . Your adrenaline races as the

clock

ticks away your child's chances for " recovery " . You sure as heck didn't sign

up

for this and want out NOW! God has over estimated your abilities.

Unfortunately, there is no one to send your resignation to. You've done

everything

right in your life, well you tried, well, you weren't caught too often. Hey!

you've

never even heard of autism before. You look around and everything looks the

same,

but different. Your family is the same, your child is the same, but now he

has a

label and you have a case worker assigned to your family. She'll call you

soon. You

feel like a lab rat dropped into a maze.

Just as you start to get the first one figured out ( early intervention)

they drop

you into a larger more complex one (school). Never to be out done, there is

always

the medical intervention maze. That one is almost never completed.

There is always some new " miracle " drug out there. It helps some kids, will

it help

yours? You will find some if the greatest folks in the world are doing the

same

maze you are, maybe on another level but a special-ed maze just the same.

Tapping

into those folks is a great life line to help you get through the day. This

really

sucks but hey, there are still good times to be had. WARNING! You do develop

and odd sense of humor. Every so often you get hit by a bullet or bomb not

enough

to kill you, only enough to leave a gaping wound. Your child regresses for

no

apparent reason, and it feels like a kick in the stomach. Some bully makes

fun of

your kid and your heart aches. You're excluded from activities and functions

because of your child and you cry. Your other children are embarrassed to be

around your disabled child and you sigh. You're insurance company refuses to

provide therapies for " chronic, life long conditions " and your blood

pressure goes

up. Your arm aches from holding onto the phone with yet another bureaucrat

or

doctor or therapist who holds the power to improve or destroy the quality of

your

child's life with the stroke of a pen. You're exhausted because your child

doesn't

sleep.

And yet, hope springs eternal.

Yes there is hope. There ARE new medications. There IS research going on.

There

are interventions that help. Thank God for all those who fought so hard

before you

came along. Your child will make progress. When he speaks for the first

time,

maybe not until he is 8 yrs old, your heart will soar. You will know that

you have

experienced a miracle and you will rejoice. The smallest improvement will

look like

a huge leap to you. You will marvel at typical development and realize how

amazing

it is. You will know sorrow like few others and yet you will know joy above

joy.

You will meet dirty faced angels on playgrounds who are kind to your child

without

being told to be. There will be a few nurses and doctors who treat your

child with

respect and who will show you concern and love like few others. Knowing eyes

will

meet yours in restaurants and malls, they'll understand, they are living

through

similar times. For those people you will be forever grateful. Don't get me

wrong.

This is war and its awful. There are no discharges and when you are gone

someone

else will have to fight in your place.

But, there are lulls in wars, times when the bullets aren't flying and bombs

aren't

dropping. Flowers are seen and picked. Life long friendships are forged. You

share

and odd kinship with people from all walks of life. Good times are had, and

because

we know how bad the bad times are, the good times are even better. Life is

good

but your life is never normal again, but hey, what fun is normal.

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> WELCOME TO BEIRUT by F. Rzucidlo

>

this is my FAVOURITE, Cindy. I've been trying to find it again for ages.

Thanks for posting it -- now I can save it!

Jacquie

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In a message dated 5/6/03 10:59:39 AM Eastern Daylight Time, vhunnius@...

writes:

> > WELCOME TO BEIRUT by F. Rzucidlo

> >

>

>

>

Wow this is truly how we feel sometimes-thank you.

The Grammas & Keion

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