My heartbreak -or- One Twin's Perspective on Autism

[Guest guest]

I knew this would happen eventually, but I did not expect it to happen

at 2.75 years old. I have to tell the story of what happened yesterday.

Yesterday afternoon, came over and took Jordan's hand in hers.

" Come wi' me Jor, " she told him. He yanked his hand from hers with a

whine of annoyance. She took his hand again. " Come wi' me Jor, " she

repeated. He tried to yank his hand away again, voicing his disapproval

a bit louder. insisted, repeating her instruction yet again.

This is the first time has ever tried to lead Jordan anywhere, and

I wanted this interaction to be successful. So I took Jordan's other

hand and said brightly, " Lets go with . " Jordan tried to balk ...

but two insistent females had him by the hands, resistance was futile.

led us to Jordan's therapy swing in the dining room and declared

she wanted to swing. I sat both of them in the net swing, back to back,

and pushed them for the longest while. Eventually the net swing

" folded " in half so they were sitting side by side with the net between

them, and both kids were smiling and enjoying the swinging and spinning.

Eventually, Jordan had enough, and hopped out of the swing and ran off.

still wanted to swing, so I continued to push her.

She looks at me with these huge sad eyes and says, " I want Jor to play

wi' me. "

My heart broke with those words. How do you explain to a 2.75 year old

that her twin brother is autistic? How do you explain that the autism

puts a hurdle/wall/canyon in the legendary twin bond?

To buy time, I repeat her words back to her as a question, " You want Jor

to play with you? " " Uh huh, " she nods yes.

How do I answer her in terms she can understand? I think a moment more.

" .... Jordan doesn't know how to play with you. " She looks at me

with those brown saucer eyes and I just feel like I need to give her

hope. " Maybe ... you can teach Jordan how to play with you? " She

thinks about this for a minute and then nods, " I teach Jor to play. "

Debbie with twins

- Jordan (ASD) 2.75yo

- (NT) 2.75yo

[Guest guest]

I'm in tears reading this. Debbie, I don't know what to say. My heart

aches for all of you.

{{{Debbie}}} {{{}}}

ellen

My heartbreak -or- One Twin's Perspective on

Autism

I knew this would happen eventually, but I did not expect it to happen

at 2.75 years old. I have to tell the story of what happened yesterday.

Yesterday afternoon, came over and took Jordan's hand in hers.

" Come wi' me Jor, " she told him. He yanked his hand from hers with a

whine of annoyance. She took his hand again. " Come wi' me Jor, " she

repeated. He tried to yank his hand away again, voicing his disapproval

a bit louder. insisted, repeating her instruction yet again.

This is the first time has ever tried to lead Jordan anywhere, and

I wanted this interaction to be successful. So I took Jordan's other

hand and said brightly, " Lets go with . " Jordan tried to balk ...

but two insistent females had him by the hands, resistance was futile.

led us to Jordan's therapy swing in the dining room and declared

she wanted to swing. I sat both of them in the net swing, back to back,

and pushed them for the longest while. Eventually the net swing

" folded " in half so they were sitting side by side with the net between

them, and both kids were smiling and enjoying the swinging and spinning.

Eventually, Jordan had enough, and hopped out of the swing and ran off.

still wanted to swing, so I continued to push her.

She looks at me with these huge sad eyes and says, " I want Jor to play

wi' me. "

My heart broke with those words. How do you explain to a 2.75 year old

that her twin brother is autistic? How do you explain that the autism

puts a hurdle/wall/canyon in the legendary twin bond?

To buy time, I repeat her words back to her as a question, " You want Jor

to play with you? " " Uh huh, " she nods yes.

How do I answer her in terms she can understand? I think a moment more.

" .... Jordan doesn't know how to play with you. " She looks at me

with those brown saucer eyes and I just feel like I need to give her

hope. " Maybe ... you can teach Jordan how to play with you? " She

thinks about this for a minute and then nods, " I teach Jor to play. "

Debbie with twins

- Jordan (ASD) 2.75yo

- (NT) 2.75yo

[Guest guest]

((((Hugs)))) to you Debbie.....I can only imagine how bad your heart is

breaking. But I do believe that really will help Jordan learn how to play

with her!!

Love, prayers and heart hugs,

Debbie (GA), Mom to Evan (4.5 y/o with ToF, RBBB, Autism Spectrum Disorder,

Asthma); (now a whole year old and HH and NT?); and my 3 angel babies

whom I will finally see when God says it's time!

9:1-3

============================================================

Date: 2003/05/06 Tue PM 05:26:05 EDT

To: " Parenting_Autism " <parenting_autism >

Subject: My heartbreak -or- One Twin's Perspective on Autism

============================================================

[Guest guest]

Aww, Debbie. Sniff, sniff. is so determined that I think she will

have Jordan playing with her quickly. What a bright child she is...but

how sad this is too.

Maggie

________________________________________________________________

The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand!

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[Guest guest]

Sad but sweet story. I don't have twins, but the differences in my two

spectrum boys cause the same problem. wants to interact most of the

time with and likes to have time alone :-( .

I love how you handled it and what you said to her! Great intuition!

Sue

[Guest guest]

Hugs to you Debbie and ! I can't even imagine how hard it must be. I see it

some with my boys who are 18 months apart and I often wonder how different it

would be if would talk to . I bet will be the best therapy

Jordan will ever get.

Hugs to you.

Warm Regards

& ASD 11/25/00 in Maine

My heartbreak -or- One Twin's Perspective on

Autism

I knew this would happen eventually, but I did not expect it to happen

at 2.75 years old. I have to tell the story of what happened yesterday.

Yesterday afternoon, came over and took Jordan's hand in hers.

" Come wi' me Jor, " she told him. He yanked his hand from hers with a

whine of annoyance. She took his hand again. " Come wi' me Jor, " she

repeated. He tried to yank his hand away again, voicing his disapproval

a bit louder. insisted, repeating her instruction yet again.

This is the first time has ever tried to lead Jordan anywhere, and

I wanted this interaction to be successful. So I took Jordan's other

hand and said brightly, " Lets go with . " Jordan tried to balk ...

but two insistent females had him by the hands, resistance was futile.

led us to Jordan's therapy swing in the dining room and declared

she wanted to swing. I sat both of them in the net swing, back to back,

and pushed them for the longest while. Eventually the net swing

" folded " in half so they were sitting side by side with the net between

them, and both kids were smiling and enjoying the swinging and spinning.

Eventually, Jordan had enough, and hopped out of the swing and ran off.

still wanted to swing, so I continued to push her.

She looks at me with these huge sad eyes and says, " I want Jor to play

wi' me. "

My heart broke with those words. How do you explain to a 2.75 year old

that her twin brother is autistic? How do you explain that the autism

puts a hurdle/wall/canyon in the legendary twin bond?

To buy time, I repeat her words back to her as a question, " You want Jor

to play with you? " " Uh huh, " she nods yes.

How do I answer her in terms she can understand? I think a moment more.

" .... Jordan doesn't know how to play with you. " She looks at me

with those brown saucer eyes and I just feel like I need to give her

hope. " Maybe ... you can teach Jordan how to play with you? " She

thinks about this for a minute and then nods, " I teach Jor to play. "

Debbie with twins

- Jordan (ASD) 2.75yo

- (NT) 2.75yo

[Guest guest]

I was thinking this too and really hope that she has one of those " in your

face " personalities that demand attention and make it very hard for you to

ignore them.

Georga

Visit my new web page at www.ubahbookshelf.com

This tag line space for rent.

Re: My heartbreak -or- One Twin's Perspective on

Autism

> Aww, Debbie. Sniff, sniff. is so determined that I think she will

> have Jordan playing with her quickly. What a bright child she is...but

> how sad this is too.

>

> Maggie

>

> ________________________________________________________________

> The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand!

> Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER!

> Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Debbie, this is sad and sweet. I'm not sure what to tell either,

though I'm sure her understanding will grow time.

I'm guessing this was harder for you than it was for her. Perhaps there are

children's books out there that deal with acceptance of children with

disabilities? Perhaps you could look at one together and talk about Jordan

that way?

hugs,

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal dx

Phoebe, 12 weeks

My heartbreak -or- One Twin's Perspective on

Autism

> I knew this would happen eventually, but I did not expect it to happen

> at 2.75 years old. I have to tell the story of what happened yesterday.

>

> Yesterday afternoon, came over and took Jordan's hand in hers.

> " Come wi' me Jor, " she told him. He yanked his hand from hers with a

> whine of annoyance. She took his hand again. " Come wi' me Jor, " she

> repeated. He tried to yank his hand away again, voicing his disapproval

> a bit louder. insisted, repeating her instruction yet again.

> This is the first time has ever tried to lead Jordan anywhere, and

> I wanted this interaction to be successful. So I took Jordan's other

> hand and said brightly, " Lets go with . " Jordan tried to balk ...

> but two insistent females had him by the hands, resistance was futile.

>

> led us to Jordan's therapy swing in the dining room and declared

> she wanted to swing. I sat both of them in the net swing, back to back,

> and pushed them for the longest while. Eventually the net swing

> " folded " in half so they were sitting side by side with the net between

> them, and both kids were smiling and enjoying the swinging and spinning.

>

> Eventually, Jordan had enough, and hopped out of the swing and ran off.

> still wanted to swing, so I continued to push her.

>

> She looks at me with these huge sad eyes and says, " I want Jor to play

> wi' me. "

>

> My heart broke with those words. How do you explain to a 2.75 year old

> that her twin brother is autistic? How do you explain that the autism

> puts a hurdle/wall/canyon in the legendary twin bond?

>

> To buy time, I repeat her words back to her as a question, " You want Jor

> to play with you? " " Uh huh, " she nods yes.

>

> How do I answer her in terms she can understand? I think a moment more.

>

> " .... Jordan doesn't know how to play with you. " She looks at me

> with those brown saucer eyes and I just feel like I need to give her

> hope. " Maybe ... you can teach Jordan how to play with you? " She

> thinks about this for a minute and then nods, " I teach Jor to play. "

>

>

> Debbie with twins

> - Jordan (ASD) 2.75yo

> - (NT) 2.75yo

>

>

>

>