Re: The cotinuing march toward diagnosis

[Guest guest]

This morning I packed up the kids for an " in-take " interview with the

developmental pediatrician. I spent the night before reviewing n's

medical history and various evaluations, trying to correct the inaccuracies.

As many of you may be able to relate, I was terrified at the prospect of

managing both kids in an unfamiliar environment by myself. Should I put

n in the stroller and carry Phoebe? Put Phoebe in the car sear carrier

and n in the stroller? Can I carry all that? Can I possibly manage

n out of a stroller?

Well the office had steps out front so I knew I would have to forego the

stroller. This made me quite nervous. But I took n by the hand,

lugging Phoebe in her carrier, determined to make the best of it. We were

early ...

Once inside n began to help himself to office supplies at the front

desk and pushing buttons on the copier. The front desk attendant did not

seem thrilled. Things did not bode well. We were directed to a waiting

room in the back. Thankfully n followed. I was given a clipboard of

paperwork. I laughed to myself thinking it would be impossible to fill it

out with n on the loose. However n found a tupperware container

of matchbox cars and began to happily obsess on them, which was convenient.

The social worker then directed us into a back office, n followed of

his own accord, which was down right shocking. Inside he located a box of

crayons, colored pencils, and markers. He happily proceeded to line them up

and tote them about. Phoebe dozed in her carrier. Again, convenient so I

could take to the social worker.

She was a very nice lady who was very kind to n. We spoke of n's

history, his many evaluations, therapies, etc, touching briefly here and

there on my personally journey in coming to terms with his challenges. Yes,

I told her, I think he is autistic, that's why we're here. In the past I

had made every imaginable excuse to explain away his " quirks " . And, yes, it

makes me feel like a bad *evil* mother to say that I am no longer holding

out hope that he will " just be a late bloomer " or " grow out of it " . I need

answers as we approach the school dilemma.

She felt fairly certain based on what I had told her and what she observed

that we would get a spectrum diagnosis. I was surprised at how easily this

she made this determination. I like to think that n's autistic

tendencies are subtle ... But then our ST said the same thing within the

first two visits.

She recommended that we begin the process for n to be evaluated by the

school district for special ed preschool. However I am somewhat ashamed to

admit that I am reluctant to do this. Naturally I want n to have as

many therapies as we can get, but a part of me balks at the finality of

enrolling him in special ed preschool. I know it will be a lightening rod

issue in our family, that extended members will openly question my judgment,

try to call and talk me out of it. And even I must concede that I second

guess myself daily.

Did I feel emotionally crushed when the social worker said she did indeed

think he was on the spectrum? No. I had expected it. But on the way home

I began thinking about how much n is the center of our lives and that

we just adore him. And how he was such a wonderful baby. He was so good,

you could take him anywhere. And I thought about how profoundly grateful I

was for that first year when he was just my perfect little baby. Then I had

some tears.

This is tough.

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal

[Guest guest]

Yes, it is very very difficult. I am thinking of you.

Maggie

________________________________________________________________

The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand!

Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER!

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[Guest guest]

Try not to look at what the others will say. Starting in special ed

preschool is the best you can do for him. He needs intervention at a very

young age in order to attain his highest level of functioning as an adult.

The more he is taught the easier things may be to manage at home too.

Sending you a big cybe hug!

Sue

[Guest guest]

,

I hurt for you just reading your post. I was in your shoes just a few months ago

and admitting to myself that he needed to go to a " special " school was very

hard. It was like in one signing of my name, I was washing away all my dreams

for ...His first day at " normal " preschool, his first day at Kindergarten

etc..and it truly sucked however within a few days, I realized that I was really

opening doors for his future and who knows what will come next. He is on his 4

week now and it doing amazing (not like a " NT " 2.5 yr. old) but I will take it!!

He signed " more " and then said Please today for a snack at

school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't help on the family front. We have only told our immediate family and

even though my sister thinks " there is nothing wrong with that boy " she is now

being great and networking information for me. Stand strong and do wheat your

head tells you (your heart is busy right now) Hugs to you!

Warm Regards

& ASD 11/25/00 in Maine

Re: The cotinuing march toward diagnosis

This morning I packed up the kids for an " in-take " interview with the

developmental pediatrician. I spent the night before reviewing n's

medical history and various evaluations, trying to correct the inaccuracies.

As many of you may be able to relate, I was terrified at the prospect of

managing both kids in an unfamiliar environment by myself. Should I put

n in the stroller and carry Phoebe? Put Phoebe in the car sear carrier

and n in the stroller? Can I carry all that? Can I possibly manage

n out of a stroller?

Well the office had steps out front so I knew I would have to forego the

stroller. This made me quite nervous. But I took n by the hand,

lugging Phoebe in her carrier, determined to make the best of it. We were

early ...

Once inside n began to help himself to office supplies at the front

desk and pushing buttons on the copier. The front desk attendant did not

seem thrilled. Things did not bode well. We were directed to a waiting

room in the back. Thankfully n followed. I was given a clipboard of

paperwork. I laughed to myself thinking it would be impossible to fill it

out with n on the loose. However n found a tupperware container

of matchbox cars and began to happily obsess on them, which was convenient.

The social worker then directed us into a back office, n followed of

his own accord, which was down right shocking. Inside he located a box of

crayons, colored pencils, and markers. He happily proceeded to line them up

and tote them about. Phoebe dozed in her carrier. Again, convenient so I

could take to the social worker.

She was a very nice lady who was very kind to n. We spoke of n's

history, his many evaluations, therapies, etc, touching briefly here and

there on my personally journey in coming to terms with his challenges. Yes,

I told her, I think he is autistic, that's why we're here. In the past I

had made every imaginable excuse to explain away his " quirks " . And, yes, it

makes me feel like a bad *evil* mother to say that I am no longer holding

out hope that he will " just be a late bloomer " or " grow out of it " . I need

answers as we approach the school dilemma.

She felt fairly certain based on what I had told her and what she observed

that we would get a spectrum diagnosis. I was surprised at how easily this

she made this determination. I like to think that n's autistic

tendencies are subtle ... But then our ST said the same thing within the

first two visits.

She recommended that we begin the process for n to be evaluated by the

school district for special ed preschool. However I am somewhat ashamed to

admit that I am reluctant to do this. Naturally I want n to have as

many therapies as we can get, but a part of me balks at the finality of

enrolling him in special ed preschool. I know it will be a lightening rod

issue in our family, that extended members will openly question my judgment,

try to call and talk me out of it. And even I must concede that I second

guess myself daily.

Did I feel emotionally crushed when the social worker said she did indeed

think he was on the spectrum? No. I had expected it. But on the way home

I began thinking about how much n is the center of our lives and that

we just adore him. And how he was such a wonderful baby. He was so good,

you could take him anywhere. And I thought about how profoundly grateful I

was for that first year when he was just my perfect little baby. Then I had

some tears.

This is tough.

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal

[Guest guest]

>>> This is tough. <<<

Yes it is.

((()))

Tuna

=====

mom to:

, 8, ASD

, 4, NT

Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.

- Whoopi Goldberg

______________________________________________________________________

Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

Sue: I know I shouldn't concern myself about what others will think, but I

guess we are all sensitive to the opinions of our parents and in-laws, you

know?

Thanks for the support,

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal dx

Phoebe, 12 weeks

Re: The cotinuing march toward diagnosis

> Try not to look at what the others will say. Starting in special ed

> preschool is the best you can do for him. He needs intervention at a very

> young age in order to attain his highest level of functioning as an adult.

> The more he is taught the easier things may be to manage at home too.

> Sending you a big cybe hug!

>

> Sue

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, , how I remember. I was nine months pregnant when Putter had

his first evaluation by someone who actually knew something, i.e., not our

pediatrician. Robbie was born five days later. Carting a tiny baby and an

autistic three year old places, oh, dear, well, it wasn't pretty at all.

> Did I feel emotionally crushed when the social worker said she did indeed

> think he was on the spectrum? No. I had expected it. But on the way

home

> I began thinking about how much n is the center of our lives and that

> we just adore him. And how he was such a wonderful baby. He was so good,

> you could take him anywhere. And I thought about how profoundly grateful

I

> was for that first year when he was just my perfect little baby. Then I

had

> some tears.

>

Yes. I cried and cried when Putter turned three. Robbie was just two weeks

old, but Putter also was a good and easy baby, just a pure delight really.

I was so happy when he was born. But I am happy about Putter in many ways

still. He is still almost pure delight to me, and still a happy person. It

gets better, much better.

Salli

[Guest guest]

:

Thank you for the support. It is one thing when you have the kids at home,

but quite another when you send them out into the world with an ASD label.

I don't know why, but I guess the words are going to stick in my throat for

a while.

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal dx

Phoebe, 12 weeks

Re: The cotinuing march toward diagnosis

>

>

>

>

> This morning I packed up the kids for an " in-take " interview with the

> developmental pediatrician. I spent the night before reviewing n's

> medical history and various evaluations, trying to correct the

inaccuracies.

>

> As many of you may be able to relate, I was terrified at the prospect of

> managing both kids in an unfamiliar environment by myself. Should I put

> n in the stroller and carry Phoebe? Put Phoebe in the car sear

carrier

> and n in the stroller? Can I carry all that? Can I possibly

manage

> n out of a stroller?

>

> Well the office had steps out front so I knew I would have to forego the

> stroller. This made me quite nervous. But I took n by the hand,

> lugging Phoebe in her carrier, determined to make the best of it. We

were

> early ...

>

> Once inside n began to help himself to office supplies at the front

> desk and pushing buttons on the copier. The front desk attendant did

not

> seem thrilled. Things did not bode well. We were directed to a waiting

> room in the back. Thankfully n followed. I was given a clipboard

of

> paperwork. I laughed to myself thinking it would be impossible to fill

it

> out with n on the loose. However n found a tupperware

container

> of matchbox cars and began to happily obsess on them, which was

convenient.

>

> The social worker then directed us into a back office, n followed

of

> his own accord, which was down right shocking. Inside he located a box

of

> crayons, colored pencils, and markers. He happily proceeded to line

them up

> and tote them about. Phoebe dozed in her carrier. Again, convenient so

I

> could take to the social worker.

>

> She was a very nice lady who was very kind to n. We spoke of

n's

> history, his many evaluations, therapies, etc, touching briefly here and

> there on my personally journey in coming to terms with his challenges.

Yes,

> I told her, I think he is autistic, that's why we're here. In the past

I

> had made every imaginable excuse to explain away his " quirks " . And,

yes, it

> makes me feel like a bad *evil* mother to say that I am no longer

holding

> out hope that he will " just be a late bloomer " or " grow out of it " . I

need

> answers as we approach the school dilemma.

>

> She felt fairly certain based on what I had told her and what she

observed

> that we would get a spectrum diagnosis. I was surprised at how easily

this

> she made this determination. I like to think that n's autistic

> tendencies are subtle ... But then our ST said the same thing within

the

> first two visits.

>

> She recommended that we begin the process for n to be evaluated by

the

> school district for special ed preschool. However I am somewhat ashamed

to

> admit that I am reluctant to do this. Naturally I want n to have

as

> many therapies as we can get, but a part of me balks at the finality of

> enrolling him in special ed preschool. I know it will be a lightening

rod

> issue in our family, that extended members will openly question my

judgment,

> try to call and talk me out of it. And even I must concede that I

second

> guess myself daily.

>

> Did I feel emotionally crushed when the social worker said she did

indeed

> think he was on the spectrum? No. I had expected it. But on the way

home

> I began thinking about how much n is the center of our lives and

that

> we just adore him. And how he was such a wonderful baby. He was so

good,

> you could take him anywhere. And I thought about how profoundly

grateful I

> was for that first year when he was just my perfect little baby. Then I

had

> some tears.

>

> This is tough.

>

> (SAHM in GA)

> MSN elizabethloht@...

> n 33, mo, no formal

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

this is a bittersweet ache isn't it elizabeth. the answer you are so anxious to

hear in order to get the help your child needs is an answer that deep down

nobody wants to hear. i can still remember how gutted i felt when i heard the

words " rowan meets criteria " . it was over four years ago and that wound has

never fully healed and i know it won't. despite what anyone else might say you

need to know you are doing the right thing and the best thing in pursuing this

for julian. he is a lucky boy and will do well with you on his side. love to

all four of you.

M.G.mum to

Sebastian, 11 kinda quirky(NT)

Rowan, 6 extra quirky (ASD)

married to and living in Northern Ontario

Re: The cotinuing march toward diagnosis

This morning I packed up the kids for an " in-take " interview with the

developmental pediatrician. I spent the night before reviewing n's

medical history and various evaluations, trying to correct the inaccuracies.

As many of you may be able to relate, I was terrified at the prospect of

managing both kids in an unfamiliar environment by myself. Should I put

n in the stroller and carry Phoebe? Put Phoebe in the car sear carrier

and n in the stroller? Can I carry all that? Can I possibly manage

n out of a stroller?

Well the office had steps out front so I knew I would have to forego the

stroller. This made me quite nervous. But I took n by the hand,

lugging Phoebe in her carrier, determined to make the best of it. We were

early ...

Once inside n began to help himself to office supplies at the front

desk and pushing buttons on the copier. The front desk attendant did not

seem thrilled. Things did not bode well. We were directed to a waiting

room in the back. Thankfully n followed. I was given a clipboard of

paperwork. I laughed to myself thinking it would be impossible to fill it

out with n on the loose. However n found a tupperware container

of matchbox cars and began to happily obsess on them, which was convenient.

The social worker then directed us into a back office, n followed of

his own accord, which was down right shocking. Inside he located a box of

crayons, colored pencils, and markers. He happily proceeded to line them up

and tote them about. Phoebe dozed in her carrier. Again, convenient so I

could take to the social worker.

She was a very nice lady who was very kind to n. We spoke of n's

history, his many evaluations, therapies, etc, touching briefly here and

there on my personally journey in coming to terms with his challenges. Yes,

I told her, I think he is autistic, that's why we're here. In the past I

had made every imaginable excuse to explain away his " quirks " . And, yes, it

makes me feel like a bad *evil* mother to say that I am no longer holding

out hope that he will " just be a late bloomer " or " grow out of it " . I need

answers as we approach the school dilemma.

She felt fairly certain based on what I had told her and what she observed

that we would get a spectrum diagnosis. I was surprised at how easily this

she made this determination. I like to think that n's autistic

tendencies are subtle ... But then our ST said the same thing within the

first two visits.

She recommended that we begin the process for n to be evaluated by the

school district for special ed preschool. However I am somewhat ashamed to

admit that I am reluctant to do this. Naturally I want n to have as

many therapies as we can get, but a part of me balks at the finality of

enrolling him in special ed preschool. I know it will be a lightening rod

issue in our family, that extended members will openly question my judgment,

try to call and talk me out of it. And even I must concede that I second

guess myself daily.

Did I feel emotionally crushed when the social worker said she did indeed

think he was on the spectrum? No. I had expected it. But on the way home

I began thinking about how much n is the center of our lives and that

we just adore him. And how he was such a wonderful baby. He was so good,

you could take him anywhere. And I thought about how profoundly grateful I

was for that first year when he was just my perfect little baby. Then I had

some tears.

This is tough.

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal

[Guest guest]

The most important thing to remember is that n is still the same n

today as he was before he got the diagnosis. He sounds a lot like my

. Easiest baby in the world. Well, after the rough 1 1/2 months

before, during and after the heart surgery. Take this kid anywhere, but

now, nope. Hang in there girl. we're here for you, and no matter what

anybody says, YOU know what's best for him.

ellen

Re: The cotinuing march toward diagnosis

This morning I packed up the kids for an " in-take " interview with the

developmental pediatrician. I spent the night before reviewing n's

medical history and various evaluations, trying to correct the

inaccuracies.

As many of you may be able to relate, I was terrified at the prospect of

managing both kids in an unfamiliar environment by myself. Should I put

n in the stroller and carry Phoebe? Put Phoebe in the car sear

carrier

and n in the stroller? Can I carry all that? Can I possibly manage

n out of a stroller?

Well the office had steps out front so I knew I would have to forego the

stroller. This made me quite nervous. But I took n by the hand,

lugging Phoebe in her carrier, determined to make the best of it. We were

early ...

Once inside n began to help himself to office supplies at the front

desk and pushing buttons on the copier. The front desk attendant did not

seem thrilled. Things did not bode well. We were directed to a waiting

room in the back. Thankfully n followed. I was given a clipboard of

paperwork. I laughed to myself thinking it would be impossible to fill it

out with n on the loose. However n found a tupperware container

of matchbox cars and began to happily obsess on them, which was

convenient.

The social worker then directed us into a back office, n followed of

his own accord, which was down right shocking. Inside he located a box of

crayons, colored pencils, and markers. He happily proceeded to line them

up

and tote them about. Phoebe dozed in her carrier. Again, convenient so I

could take to the social worker.

She was a very nice lady who was very kind to n. We spoke of

n's

history, his many evaluations, therapies, etc, touching briefly here and

there on my personally journey in coming to terms with his challenges.

Yes,

I told her, I think he is autistic, that's why we're here. In the past I

had made every imaginable excuse to explain away his " quirks " . And, yes,

it

makes me feel like a bad *evil* mother to say that I am no longer holding

out hope that he will " just be a late bloomer " or " grow out of it " . I

need

answers as we approach the school dilemma.

She felt fairly certain based on what I had told her and what she observed

that we would get a spectrum diagnosis. I was surprised at how easily

this

she made this determination. I like to think that n's autistic

tendencies are subtle ... But then our ST said the same thing within the

first two visits.

She recommended that we begin the process for n to be evaluated by

the

school district for special ed preschool. However I am somewhat ashamed

to

admit that I am reluctant to do this. Naturally I want n to have as

many therapies as we can get, but a part of me balks at the finality of

enrolling him in special ed preschool. I know it will be a lightening rod

issue in our family, that extended members will openly question my

judgment,

try to call and talk me out of it. And even I must concede that I second

guess myself daily.

Did I feel emotionally crushed when the social worker said she did indeed

think he was on the spectrum? No. I had expected it. But on the way

home

I began thinking about how much n is the center of our lives and that

we just adore him. And how he was such a wonderful baby. He was so good,

you could take him anywhere. And I thought about how profoundly grateful

I

was for that first year when he was just my perfect little baby. Then I

had

some tears.

This is tough.

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal

[Guest guest]

Salli:

I thought perhaps you would understand, as I also have n near 3 year

old, and a new baby. And Putter and n have always sounded a lot alike

to me. n is also a very happy autie, as long as no one challenges his

wishes ... and so full of surprises, tonight he was looking at the VCR

remote, he looks at the numbers and says, " one, two, three, four, five, six,

seven, eight, nine, zero. "

Zero?!? Where the heck did he learn that! I had purposely avoided teaching

him zero because I thought it would confuse him. It is amazing.

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal dx

Phoebe, 12 weeks

Re: The cotinuing march toward diagnosis

> Oh, , how I remember. I was nine months pregnant when Putter had

> his first evaluation by someone who actually knew something, i.e., not our

> pediatrician. Robbie was born five days later. Carting a tiny baby and

an

> autistic three year old places, oh, dear, well, it wasn't pretty at all.

>

> > Did I feel emotionally crushed when the social worker said she did

indeed

> > think he was on the spectrum? No. I had expected it. But on the way

> home

> > I began thinking about how much n is the center of our lives and

that

> > we just adore him. And how he was such a wonderful baby. He was so

good,

> > you could take him anywhere. And I thought about how profoundly

grateful

> I

> > was for that first year when he was just my perfect little baby. Then I

> had

> > some tears.

> >

>

> Yes. I cried and cried when Putter turned three. Robbie was just two

weeks

> old, but Putter also was a good and easy baby, just a pure delight really.

> I was so happy when he was born. But I am happy about Putter in many ways

> still. He is still almost pure delight to me, and still a happy person.

It

> gets better, much better.

>

> Salli

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sweetie -

If he goes into a special education class it does not by any means classify

him as anything other than what he is now - a child with challenges. I

always thought was subtle too. Now that I see her with typical

children it's as obvious as an a red light. (But remember she only needed

the special ed class for 6 months). When you're home you are comparing him to

himself before any services. When you're in school you're comparing him to

the other children. That's how he will make progress - by determining where

he needs the extra help weather it's turntaking, pragmatic langauge or

pretend play.

Extra services will not hurt him as long as he's in the proper placement for

HIM. My best friend's son has been with services for 2 1/2 years and she is

just now coming to terms with the diagnois. You don't have to send out a

card that says My Son is in Special Education - you don't even have to tell

anyone. That's a personal choice. I'm sorry that your family is not being

supportive... mine isn't really either and it sucks.

Hugs

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

If it helps, I have yet to say the words out loud to anyone besides the

" professionals " . I sent my family an email and just explained that it was too

hard for me to talk about but that I wanted them to know. I am close to my

family and it went well.

I will be thinking of you. It is so hard to do and I wish there was something

magical that I could say to help. (Hugs)

Warm Regards

& ASD 11/25/00 in Maine

Re: The cotinuing march toward diagnosis

>

>

>

>

> This morning I packed up the kids for an " in-take " interview with the

> developmental pediatrician. I spent the night before reviewing n's

> medical history and various evaluations, trying to correct the

inaccuracies.

>

> As many of you may be able to relate, I was terrified at the prospect of

> managing both kids in an unfamiliar environment by myself. Should I put

> n in the stroller and carry Phoebe? Put Phoebe in the car sear

carrier

> and n in the stroller? Can I carry all that? Can I possibly

manage

> n out of a stroller?

>

> Well the office had steps out front so I knew I would have to forego the

> stroller. This made me quite nervous. But I took n by the hand,

> lugging Phoebe in her carrier, determined to make the best of it. We

were

> early ...

>

> Once inside n began to help himself to office supplies at the front

> desk and pushing buttons on the copier. The front desk attendant did

not

> seem thrilled. Things did not bode well. We were directed to a waiting

> room in the back. Thankfully n followed. I was given a clipboard

of

> paperwork. I laughed to myself thinking it would be impossible to fill

it

> out with n on the loose. However n found a tupperware

container

> of matchbox cars and began to happily obsess on them, which was

convenient.

>

> The social worker then directed us into a back office, n followed

of

> his own accord, which was down right shocking. Inside he located a box

of

> crayons, colored pencils, and markers. He happily proceeded to line

them up

> and tote them about. Phoebe dozed in her carrier. Again, convenient so

I

> could take to the social worker.

>

> She was a very nice lady who was very kind to n. We spoke of

n's

> history, his many evaluations, therapies, etc, touching briefly here and

> there on my personally journey in coming to terms with his challenges.

Yes,

> I told her, I think he is autistic, that's why we're here. In the past

I

> had made every imaginable excuse to explain away his " quirks " . And,

yes, it

> makes me feel like a bad *evil* mother to say that I am no longer

holding

> out hope that he will " just be a late bloomer " or " grow out of it " . I

need

> answers as we approach the school dilemma.

>

> She felt fairly certain based on what I had told her and what she

observed

> that we would get a spectrum diagnosis. I was surprised at how easily

this

> she made this determination. I like to think that n's autistic

> tendencies are subtle ... But then our ST said the same thing within

the

> first two visits.

>

> She recommended that we begin the process for n to be evaluated by

the

> school district for special ed preschool. However I am somewhat ashamed

to

> admit that I am reluctant to do this. Naturally I want n to have

as

> many therapies as we can get, but a part of me balks at the finality of

> enrolling him in special ed preschool. I know it will be a lightening

rod

> issue in our family, that extended members will openly question my

judgment,

> try to call and talk me out of it. And even I must concede that I

second

> guess myself daily.

>

> Did I feel emotionally crushed when the social worker said she did

indeed

> think he was on the spectrum? No. I had expected it. But on the way

home

> I began thinking about how much n is the center of our lives and

that

> we just adore him. And how he was such a wonderful baby. He was so

good,

> you could take him anywhere. And I thought about how profoundly

grateful I

> was for that first year when he was just my perfect little baby. Then I

had

> some tears.

>

> This is tough.

>

> (SAHM in GA)

> MSN elizabethloht@...

> n 33, mo, no formal

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> I thought perhaps you would understand, as I also have n near 3 year

> old, and a new baby. And Putter and n have always sounded a lot

alike

> to me. n is also a very happy autie, as long as no one challenges

his

> wishes ... and so full of surprises, tonight he was looking at the VCR

> remote, he looks at the numbers and says, " one, two, three, four, five,

six,

> seven, eight, nine, zero. "

Oh, yes, I remember when Putter, watching the microwave, suddenly began

counting down with it to zero. I had no idea he knew his numbers and he was

just four so he had virtually no speech; I hadn't yet learned that I had no

idea what he actually knew.

>

> Zero?!? Where the heck did he learn that! I had purposely avoided

teaching

> him zero because I thought it would confuse him. It is amazing.

>

Putter is not easily confused either. At least not about interesting

things.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> I know it will be a lightening rod issue in our family, that extended members

will openly question my judgment, try to call and talk me out of it. <

elizabeth, i haven't read the other replies, so this may have already been said,

but...this is not your family's business. you are doing what you need to do for

JULIAN. HE is the one who matters. if aunt bessie doesn't like the idea of him

being in school, ask her if she'd care to deal with his needs. i know it's tough

when it's your first child, but you really are doing the right thing. if julian

is on the spectrum, which it sounds like he is, the earlier he can get help, the

better. good luck to you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is today, but yesterday's tomorrow - Mr. Krabs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

gina, 31, ny

single mom to -

kailey, 8, autism, hyperlexia, depression, anxiety, OCD, DSI

trevor, 3, multiple developmental delays, no " official " dx yet

parker jade, due 7-25-03 :-D

[Guest guest]

> And, yes, it

> makes me feel like a bad *evil* mother to say that I am no longer holding

> out hope that he will " just be a late bloomer " or " grow out of it " . I

need

> answers as we approach the school dilemma.

Oh, , I believe a bad evil mother would be one who never faced the

reality that something needed to be addressed and just denied everything --

because that would do n so much more harm than good.

You are a good mother for recognizing the truths and searching out the ways

to deal with them so that n can grow and progress and fulfill all of

his potential as soon as he can.

>

> She felt fairly certain based on what I had told her and what she observed

> that we would get a spectrum diagnosis. I was surprised at how easily

this

> she made this determination. I like to think that n's autistic

> tendencies are subtle ... But then our ST said the same thing within the

> first two visits.

They might BE subtle -- but recognizing them is what these people are

trained for!

>

> She recommended that we begin the process for n to be evaluated by

the

> school district for special ed preschool. However I am somewhat ashamed

to

> admit that I am reluctant to do this. Naturally I want n to have as

> many therapies as we can get, but a part of me balks at the finality of

> enrolling him in special ed preschool.

Finality? Not at all! So many members of this list have mainstreamed their

kids from sped preschools! The right choice today is just that -- TODAY'S

right choice! Sped preschool does NOT mean he'll be in separate school

forever, not by a long shot! In fact, it might very well give him the tools

he needs to go to public school by kindergarten. You just never know.

>And how he was such a wonderful baby. He was so good,

> you could take him anywhere. And I thought about how profoundly grateful

I

> was for that first year when he was just my perfect little baby. Then I

had

> some tears.

The irony of that just BITES, doesn't it. :-(

(((hugs)))

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

It sounds like n has been absorbing a lot of whats being said around

him, but has no way yet of letting you know how smart he is. When he starts

talking, you are going to be amazed at how much he knows!

Sue

[Guest guest]

Thanks, ellen. Certainly I know that he is still the same little boy,

but until now I've never really contemplated what it will mean for our lives

when the rest of the world will see the label and treat us differently.

Autism always seemed like a private family thing, since n is at home

with me. Naturally that will change when he starts school. I guess I just

need to brace myself for the phase of this cRaZy ride ...

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal dx

Phoebe, 12 weeks

Re: The cotinuing march toward diagnosis

>

>

>

>

> This morning I packed up the kids for an " in-take " interview with the

> developmental pediatrician. I spent the night before reviewing n's

> medical history and various evaluations, trying to correct the

> inaccuracies.

>

> As many of you may be able to relate, I was terrified at the prospect of

> managing both kids in an unfamiliar environment by myself. Should I put

> n in the stroller and carry Phoebe? Put Phoebe in the car sear

> carrier

> and n in the stroller? Can I carry all that? Can I possibly

manage

> n out of a stroller?

>

> Well the office had steps out front so I knew I would have to forego the

> stroller. This made me quite nervous. But I took n by the hand,

> lugging Phoebe in her carrier, determined to make the best of it. We

were

> early ...

>

> Once inside n began to help himself to office supplies at the front

> desk and pushing buttons on the copier. The front desk attendant did

not

> seem thrilled. Things did not bode well. We were directed to a waiting

> room in the back. Thankfully n followed. I was given a clipboard

of

> paperwork. I laughed to myself thinking it would be impossible to fill

it

> out with n on the loose. However n found a tupperware

container

> of matchbox cars and began to happily obsess on them, which was

> convenient.

>

> The social worker then directed us into a back office, n followed

of

> his own accord, which was down right shocking. Inside he located a box

of

> crayons, colored pencils, and markers. He happily proceeded to line

them

> up

> and tote them about. Phoebe dozed in her carrier. Again, convenient so

I

> could take to the social worker.

>

> She was a very nice lady who was very kind to n. We spoke of

> n's

> history, his many evaluations, therapies, etc, touching briefly here and

> there on my personally journey in coming to terms with his challenges.

> Yes,

> I told her, I think he is autistic, that's why we're here. In the past

I

> had made every imaginable excuse to explain away his " quirks " . And,

yes,

> it

> makes me feel like a bad *evil* mother to say that I am no longer

holding

> out hope that he will " just be a late bloomer " or " grow out of it " . I

> need

> answers as we approach the school dilemma.

>

> She felt fairly certain based on what I had told her and what she

observed

> that we would get a spectrum diagnosis. I was surprised at how easily

> this

> she made this determination. I like to think that n's autistic

> tendencies are subtle ... But then our ST said the same thing within

the

> first two visits.

>

> She recommended that we begin the process for n to be evaluated by

> the

> school district for special ed preschool. However I am somewhat ashamed

> to

> admit that I am reluctant to do this. Naturally I want n to have

as

> many therapies as we can get, but a part of me balks at the finality of

> enrolling him in special ed preschool. I know it will be a lightening

rod

> issue in our family, that extended members will openly question my

> judgment,

> try to call and talk me out of it. And even I must concede that I

second

> guess myself daily.

>

> Did I feel emotionally crushed when the social worker said she did

indeed

> think he was on the spectrum? No. I had expected it. But on the way

> home

> I began thinking about how much n is the center of our lives and

that

> we just adore him. And how he was such a wonderful baby. He was so

good,

> you could take him anywhere. And I thought about how profoundly

grateful

> I

> was for that first year when he was just my perfect little baby. Then I

> had

> some tears.

>

> This is tough.

>

> (SAHM in GA)

> MSN elizabethloht@...

> n 33, mo, no formal

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is very kind of you to say. I remember the social worker saying that I

had done a good job with n and it made me feel really good. Perhaps

they just say that to everyone ... I'm sure they know we are all basket

cases of uncertainty.

Thanks,

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal dx

Phoebe, 12 weeks

Re: The cotinuing march toward diagnosis

>

>

>

>

> This morning I packed up the kids for an " in-take " interview with the

> developmental pediatrician. I spent the night before reviewing n's

> medical history and various evaluations, trying to correct the

inaccuracies.

>

> As many of you may be able to relate, I was terrified at the prospect of

> managing both kids in an unfamiliar environment by myself. Should I put

> n in the stroller and carry Phoebe? Put Phoebe in the car sear

carrier

> and n in the stroller? Can I carry all that? Can I possibly

manage

> n out of a stroller?

>

> Well the office had steps out front so I knew I would have to forego the

> stroller. This made me quite nervous. But I took n by the hand,

> lugging Phoebe in her carrier, determined to make the best of it. We

were

> early ...

>

> Once inside n began to help himself to office supplies at the front

> desk and pushing buttons on the copier. The front desk attendant did

not

> seem thrilled. Things did not bode well. We were directed to a waiting

> room in the back. Thankfully n followed. I was given a clipboard

of

> paperwork. I laughed to myself thinking it would be impossible to fill

it

> out with n on the loose. However n found a tupperware

container

> of matchbox cars and began to happily obsess on them, which was

convenient.

>

> The social worker then directed us into a back office, n followed

of

> his own accord, which was down right shocking. Inside he located a box

of

> crayons, colored pencils, and markers. He happily proceeded to line

them up

> and tote them about. Phoebe dozed in her carrier. Again, convenient so

I

> could take to the social worker.

>

> She was a very nice lady who was very kind to n. We spoke of

n's

> history, his many evaluations, therapies, etc, touching briefly here and

> there on my personally journey in coming to terms with his challenges.

Yes,

> I told her, I think he is autistic, that's why we're here. In the past

I

> had made every imaginable excuse to explain away his " quirks " . And,

yes, it

> makes me feel like a bad *evil* mother to say that I am no longer

holding

> out hope that he will " just be a late bloomer " or " grow out of it " . I

need

> answers as we approach the school dilemma.

>

> She felt fairly certain based on what I had told her and what she

observed

> that we would get a spectrum diagnosis. I was surprised at how easily t

his

> she made this determination. I like to think that n's autistic

> tendencies are subtle ... But then our ST said the same thing within

the

> first two visits.

>

> She recommended that we begin the process for n to be evaluated by

the

> school district for special ed preschool. However I am somewhat ashamed

to

> admit that I am reluctant to do this. Naturally I want n to have

as

> many therapies as we can get, but a part of me balks at the finality of

> enrolling him in special ed preschool. I know it will be a lightening

rod

> issue in our family, that extended members will openly question my

judgment,

> try to call and talk me out of it. And even I must concede that I

second

> guess myself daily.

>

> Did I feel emotionally crushed when the social worker said she did

indeed

> think he was on the spectrum? No. I had expected it. But on the way

home

> I began thinking about how much n is the center of our lives and

that

> we just adore him. And how he was such a wonderful baby. He was so

good,

> you could take him anywhere. And I thought about how profoundly

grateful I

> was for that first year when he was just my perfect little baby. Then I

had

> some tears.

>

> This is tough.

>

> (SAHM in GA)

> MSN elizabethloht@...

> n 33, mo, no formal

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I don't know how I'm going to handle this either. I mean, around the

holidays, do you send out the usual cards with little letters casually

mentioning that your child was dx as autistic? Is that weird?

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal dx

Phoebe, 12 weeks

Re: The cotinuing march toward diagnosis

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > This morning I packed up the kids for an " in-take " interview with

the

> > developmental pediatrician. I spent the night before reviewing

n's

> > medical history and various evaluations, trying to correct the

> inaccuracies.

> >

> > As many of you may be able to relate, I was terrified at the

prospect of

> > managing both kids in an unfamiliar environment by myself. Should I

put

> > n in the stroller and carry Phoebe? Put Phoebe in the car sear

> carrier

> > and n in the stroller? Can I carry all that? Can I possibly

> manage

> > n out of a stroller?

> >

> > Well the office had steps out front so I knew I would have to forego

the

> > stroller. This made me quite nervous. But I took n by the

hand,

> > lugging Phoebe in her carrier, determined to make the best of it.

We

> were

> > early ...

> >

> > Once inside n began to help himself to office supplies at the

front

> > desk and pushing buttons on the copier. The front desk attendant

did

> not

> > seem thrilled. Things did not bode well. We were directed to a

waiting

> > room in the back. Thankfully n followed. I was given a

clipboard

> of

> > paperwork. I laughed to myself thinking it would be impossible to

fill

> it

> > out with n on the loose. However n found a tupperware

> container

> > of matchbox cars and began to happily obsess on them, which was

> convenient.

> >

> > The social worker then directed us into a back office, n

followed

> of

> > his own accord, which was down right shocking. Inside he located a

box

> of

> > crayons, colored pencils, and markers. He happily proceeded to line

> them up

> > and tote them about. Phoebe dozed in her carrier. Again,

convenient so

> I

> > could take to the social worker.

> >

> > She was a very nice lady who was very kind to n. We spoke of

> n's

> > history, his many evaluations, therapies, etc, touching briefly here

and

> > there on my personally journey in coming to terms with his

challenges.

> Yes,

> > I told her, I think he is autistic, that's why we're here. In the

past

> I

> > had made every imaginable excuse to explain away his " quirks " . And,

> yes, it

> > makes me feel like a bad *evil* mother to say that I am no longer

> holding

> > out hope that he will " just be a late bloomer " or " grow out of it " .

I

> need

> > answers as we approach the school dilemma.

> >

> > She felt fairly certain based on what I had told her and what she

> observed

> > that we would get a spectrum diagnosis. I was surprised at how

easily

> this

> > she made this determination. I like to think that n's autistic

> > tendencies are subtle ... But then our ST said the same thing

within

> the

> > first two visits.

> >

> > She recommended that we begin the process for n to be evaluated

by

> the

> > school district for special ed preschool. However I am somewhat

ashamed

> to

> > admit that I am reluctant to do this. Naturally I want n to

have

> as

> > many therapies as we can get, but a part of me balks at the finality

of

> > enrolling him in special ed preschool. I know it will be a

lightening

> rod

> > issue in our family, that extended members will openly question my

> judgment,

> > try to call and talk me out of it. And even I must concede that I

> second

> > guess myself daily.

> >

> > Did I feel emotionally crushed when the social worker said she did

> indeed

> > think he was on the spectrum? No. I had expected it. But on the

way

> home

> > I began thinking about how much n is the center of our lives

and

> that

> > we just adore him. And how he was such a wonderful baby. He was so

> good,

> > you could take him anywhere. And I thought about how profoundly

> grateful I

> > was for that first year when he was just my perfect little baby.

Then I

> had

> > some tears.

> >

> > This is tough.

> >

> > (SAHM in GA)

> > MSN elizabethloht@...

> > n 33, mo, no formal

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Thanks, . I know you're right. It just seems like every week I hear a

" short bus " joke somewhere, and that makes special education seem like such

a stigma. I guess I'm going to have to toughen up about it : )

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal dx

Phoebe, 12 weeks

Re: The cotinuing march toward diagnosis

> Sweetie -

>

> If he goes into a special education class it does not by any means

classify

> him as anything other than what he is now - a child with challenges. I

> always thought was subtle too. Now that I see her with typical

> children it's as obvious as an a red light. (But remember she only needed

> the special ed class for 6 months). When you're home you are comparing him

to

> himself before any services. When you're in school you're comparing him

to

> the other children. That's how he will make progress - by determining

where

> he needs the extra help weather it's turntaking, pragmatic langauge or

> pretend play.

>

> Extra services will not hurt him as long as he's in the proper placement

for

> HIM. My best friend's son has been with services for 2 1/2 years and she

is

> just now coming to terms with the diagnois. You don't have to send out a

> card that says My Son is in Special Education - you don't even have to

tell

> anyone. That's a personal choice. I'm sorry that your family is not

being

> supportive... mine isn't really either and it sucks.

>

> Hugs

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jacquie, thank you for saying so.

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal dx

Phoebe, 12 weeks

Re: The cotinuing march toward diagnosis

>

> Oh, , I believe a bad evil mother would be one who never faced

the

> reality that something needed to be addressed and just denied

everything --

> because that would do n so much more harm than good.

>

> You are a good mother for recognizing the truths and searching out the

ways

> to deal with them so that n can grow and progress and fulfill all of

> his potential as soon as he can.

[Guest guest]

The short bus. LOL!

Sorry.

Where and I grew up the short bus was a joke. I mean, they were

supposed to be the sped kids but where we were sped ment the kids that no

one wanted to deal with. You know, the problem cases, not necessary the

sped cases. The kids that had an attitude about school and were failing

because they didn't do their work and they dumped them in, what we always

refered to as " the retarded class " .

Now, the one school that I went to sped was just that sped. The kids with

various learning problems were in there, not the ones that didn't want to be

in school and do work. And they didn't ride the " short bus " . We didn't

have a short bus for that district. The sped was right in the school, the

classroom was on the bottom floor down from the caffateria (there weren't

any other classrooms down there but the gym, the TAG room and the art room.

The kids in sped stayed in that room from K through 6 and the teacher in

there was great with them. There were one or two kids that weren't in sped

that should have been but they did just fine in regular classes.

ended up in sped adventually. When we moved up to the jr high there was a

sped room there was well that these kids spent most of their time in.

on the other hand.... I feel so bad about how he was treated now

knowing what I know now about autism.

was a really tall and big kid even in 6th grade. In 7th he was like 6

feet tall. The one thing that I picked on him about was the green pepper

strips that he had to have in his lunch every day. Did not understand how

anyone could eat them (then again, at the time they gave me heartburn.

LOL). Anyway, he was this huge kid and had the emotional materity of a

kindergartner. He was really easy for people to pick on. I didn't really

pick on him (but for the peppers) but other people really gave him hell. At

the time I just didn't have the patience to deal with his oddness and tried

to stay away as much as possible, meaning I didn't go out of my way to make

friends with him but if he talked to me I wasn't mean to him either. I

didn't understand how he could cry like a baby from someone stepping on his

foot on accident like happens sometimes. Boggled my mind

Looking back on it all now, thinking about how he was, that boy was

definatly autistic. That incident when someone accidently stepped on his

foot I now see as a SI problem.

I remember someone once put a sign on his back that said " Watch out for

falling lice " . Well, you know kid humor, that is funny. Anyway, this guy

that I sat next to in study hall, Bell, really went out of his way to

try and be nice to but he also found funny for some reason and

didn't understand when he did something that just make laugh and

would always get to do something over and over to provide him

with amusement. Anyway, sat in front of us in study hall. seen

that sign and was laughing hysterically and told that there was

something on his back, took it off because was doing that weird trying

to turn his head 180 degrees to either side thing to see it, and just

crumpled it up and tossed it out. never seen it but spent most

of study hall laughing,

Those are the two incidents that I remember the best.

Well, then there was 6th grade and Mr Vozar. That man was just an asshole.

Complete and total asshole. He used to pick on worse than any of the

kids. His theory was that he was " toughing him up " and " teaching him how to

take it " . I always wished that he would just leave him alone. I mean, the

man put him in tears (and it is very odd seeing a 6 foot kid crying) where

he had to leave class several times.

I have no idea why I just went on about this....

Georga

Visit my new web page at www.ubahbookshelf.com

This tag line space for rent.

Re: The cotinuing march toward diagnosis

>

>

> > Sweetie -

> >

> > If he goes into a special education class it does not by any means

> classify

> > him as anything other than what he is now - a child with challenges. I

> > always thought was subtle too. Now that I see her with typical

> > children it's as obvious as an a red light. (But remember she only

needed

> > the special ed class for 6 months). When you're home you are comparing

him

> to

> > himself before any services. When you're in school you're comparing him

> to

> > the other children. That's how he will make progress - by determining

> where

> > he needs the extra help weather it's turntaking, pragmatic langauge or

> > pretend play.

> >

> > Extra services will not hurt him as long as he's in the proper placement

> for

> > HIM. My best friend's son has been with services for 2 1/2 years and

she

> is

> > just now coming to terms with the diagnois. You don't have to send out

a

> > card that says My Son is in Special Education - you don't even have to

> tell

> > anyone. That's a personal choice. I'm sorry that your family is not

> being

> > supportive... mine isn't really either and it sucks.

> >

> > Hugs

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

By the holidays, I imagine the people you care enough about to want to tell

will probably know. If you write up newsletters, you could tell how he's

doing in his various therapys if you want, it's entirely up to you.

Sue

[Guest guest]

>

> Yes, I don't know how I'm going to handle this either. I mean,

around the

> holidays, do you send out the usual cards with little letters

casually

> mentioning that your child was dx as autistic? Is that weird?

>

> (SAHM in GA)

, this is EXACTLY what I did with extended family and

friends out of my area. I wrote it in my holiday letter. Brandt was

dxed in May, 2001 so I had lots of time to formulate words before

Christmas. E-mail me off list and I'll send you a copy of the letter

I wrote if you want me to. Leggs