Toddlers - who'd have 'em!

[Guest guest]

I'm sane enough to post now...thanks Ruth for asking after us. I spent last

Friday working at home after 6 days of Toddler from Hell (and working at home

involves taking Tim on a 40 minute drive to get him to nursery, coming back and

then repeating the process later so it's a big time waster) because I KNOW I

would have committed GBH on my most irritating colleague had he spoken to me

that day. Tim reduced me to tears 4 times on Thursday - 3 times in one swimming

trip - and I just couldn't hack anything any more. I read all the books (except

the NCT one, which I've mislaid) for hints and all that happened was I got Bad

Mummy guilt syndrome as they talked about how I should be behaving... I kept

telling myself we've had spells like this before and they only last a week but

god what a week. An hour of " Milk no away no no bath no nappy no cream no no no

waah waah waaah " is not funny. When I started crying too he hurled himself on

me sobbing, then hugged me, stroked my hair and said " alright now, alright now

mummy " . So, nose wipe, brave smile, " All right now Timmy? " " Alright now. "

" Right, then, let's just do your nappy and we can have a story- " " WAAAAHHHHH "

head banging back arching " NO WAAH NO WAAH NO " - just awful. He bit me twice as

well last week - sheer temper, that was, not even over - tiredness. Hormonal

mummy had had it by Friday!

Saturday saw a changed boy. Still a couple of iffy moments, but not the

constant rejection of all stimulation or nourishment of the previous week. He

even gave me his first unprompted " Ank you Mummy " this morning! (and so I

should hope after behaving like a baby sparrow over my toast....)

Thing, is WHY???? He started in the 2-3 room at Nursery a week ago and we had

been talking about it the previous week - could the impending change have been

the problem?

Oh well, out of the woods (just) for a bit longer...

Anneliese and Tim the cutiepie (Clever Daddy mended Mummy's car - quote of the

day!)

[Guest guest]

Yes, yes, yes. I'm having this behaviour too, and the major change

has been within the nursery, moving from the " Bees " (age 2-3) to the

" Butterflys " (age 3-4)! However I've got wanting to wear a nappy

again all day too!

Aaaarrggghhh!

phine

(Mum to 4 & Ben nearly 3, Cambridge NCT)

Anneliese and Tim > Thing, is WHY???? He started in the 2-3 room at

Nursery a week ago and we had been talking about it the previous

week - could the impending change have been the problem?

[Guest guest]

>I'm sane enough to post now...

Oh rats, do we have to be sane to post???? :-)))))

>thanks Ruth for asking after us. I spent last Friday working at

>home after 6 days of Toddler from Hell (and working at home involves

>taking Tim on a 40 minute drive to get him to nursery, coming back

>and then repeating the process later so it's a big time waster)

>because I KNOW I would have committed GBH on my most irritating

>colleague had he spoken to me that day. Tim reduced me to tears 4

>times on Thursday - 3 times in one swimming trip - and I just

>couldn't hack anything any more. I read all the books (except the

>NCT one, which I've mislaid) for hints and all that happened was I

>got Bad Mummy guilt syndrome as they talked about how I should be

>behaving...

Ach. Trouble is we tend to read these books when things are not going

well and thus more prone to feeling like failures! I've read Love and

Anger: the parental dilemma by Samalin recently - I found the

title very attractive (content was good too). On the other hand

Deborah 's Do not Disturb told me that DS1 not wanting to come

home from nursery class is avoidant behaviour caused by me displaying

affection at inappropriate times. Tee hee.

I can *particularly* sympathise over the nappy wrestling - I mean, if

they want to starve that's their affair, but soggy/dirty nappies

really will hurt them. (DS2 doesn't seem to mind whipping his own

nappy off though and then sitting in our bed, poohing and then

ensuring it gets wiped over as many things as possible) He also

sorely tried the patience of his grandparents and his Wicked Uncle

on holiday a few weeks ago (My brother was moved to suggest

that the reason he is not talking much is that he has deafened

himself) Your Timmy sounds to be a bright little thing, so perhaps it

could be change at nursery but maybe he is about to make another

Grace Tepp-Ford? At least, I try to tell myself that is what is going

on with mine - might be rubbish (still waiting for it here at any

rate), but whatever gets you through the night... It's a hard life

being a toddler.

What works here when I get to that point is for DH to take over! (And

for me to try to stay out of earshot when he's being all pleasant and

so is DS2, 'cos that's a tad galling)

--

jennifer@...

Vaudin

[Guest guest]

> >thanks Ruth for asking after us. I spent last Friday working at

> >home after 6 days of Toddler from Hell (and working at home

involves

> >taking Tim on a 40 minute drive to get him to nursery, coming back

> >and then repeating the process later so it's a big time waster)

> >because I KNOW I would have committed GBH on my most irritating

> >colleague had he spoken to me that day. Tim reduced me to tears 4

> >times on Thursday - 3 times in one swimming trip - and I just

> >couldn't hack anything any more. I read all the books (except the

> >NCT one, which I've mislaid) for hints and all that happened was I

> >got Bad Mummy guilt syndrome as they talked about how I should be

> >behaving...

> >>>>>>>>>>..

It is just a stage they go through I think - I actually am not very

kean on babies from the time just after they can walk (in our house 1

year) until about 3 years old.

If I could miss that bit out our house would probably be overrun with

babies and children.

At 2 they can't really reason or talk well enough to explain quite

what they want and the frustration really does display itself quite

well. Bed times tend to get earlier and earlier as I get more and

more frustrated with Isaac. Instead of reading those books that make

mummy feel guilty - go get a nice warm bath - shut the bathroom door

and let DH take over and relax - you will feel far better.....and

tomorrow is anther day!

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

[Guest guest]

I actually am not very

> kean on babies from the time just after they can walk (in our house

1

> year) until about 3 years old.

> If I could miss that bit out our house would probably be overrun

with

> babies and children.

Oh I second that with grandchildren!! I love the babies, and can

quite well relate to the older children (I would rather they were 5

than 3, thinking of the devilish Yoel at 4, he was still horrible!)

With my own kids I had to put up with them and love them so I did of

course, but I don't *have* to enjoy that stage with my grandchildren

:-)

Mind you, Yoel still isn't my favourite person. He just turned six,

and I bought him one of those silvery scooters for his birthday.

After just one afternoon it got stolen from his front garden which was

either jolly bad luck, or negligence for not putting it away safely.

Either way there was certainly no compunction on my part to buy him

another one....but I did. His face was a study of joy, and I am

hoping that my reputation as being " so heavy, heavier than the carpet "

now has a slightly more rosey hue and maybe we will actually get

to like each other.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

Anneliese, this isn't a practical tip to help you now, but it sometimes

helps me put things into perspective. I imagine 10-12 years down the road

where I have a group of sullen teenagers, skulking about the house, worrying

about where they are, etc. etc. - I bet I'll be wishing they were just 2, 3

or 4 again and that helps me see the toddler behaviour in a different light,

ie. I'd rather have that than some of the teenage problems!!!

Hope you're feeling better.

Hannah

-----Original Message-----

From: Anneliese Handley

Tim reduced me to tears 4 times on Thursday - 3 times in one swimming

trip - and I just couldn't hack anything any more.

[Guest guest]

Hannah wrote:

> ie. I'd rather have that than some of the teenage problems!!!

Permission to feel sorry for myself? I've got a non-sleeping feeding

constantly fractious babi, a disruptive wild verging on violent toddler and

a grumpy non-communicative non-motivated adolescent

Not dismissing your feelings Annelise - hope things are smoother today

Jenni

( & Gethyn)

17yrs - 6lbs - Hospital Birth; Mari 3yrs - 9lb 10oz - Home Birth

Nia 4 wks - 10lb 8oz - Home Water Birth

Visit my online photo album > http://www.picturetrail.com/jennihughes

P/W = gwenni. I'd love to see your name in my Guest Book

" If you don't know your options - you don't have any "

[Guest guest]

Jenni wrote:

Permission to feel sorry for myself? I've got a non-sleeping feeding

> constantly fractious babi, a disruptive wild verging on violent

toddler and

> a grumpy non-communicative non-motivated adolescent

> >>>>>>>>>

I have a cousin who has 4 boys and another who has 1 boy - the 2nd

used to say to the 1st that baby was horrible at X age and the mother

of the 4 used to say just wait until he gets to X + 1 and then you

will see what horrible is.

I don't envy you with all 3 ends of the childhood span! Mind you I

did offer to swap Jack for another friends 13 year old who sounds a

bit like your - I thought a child laid in bed not talking did

sound rather blissful compared to a squabbling 8 year old!

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

[Guest guest]

, a disruptive wild verging on violent toddler and

Oh how totally can I relate to that one! And I have a sulky, moody DH

for no apparent reason tonight, except I ran out of time today and

couldn't manage the washing up before he came home!! Why they feel it

is their duty to pick you up on everything when they are in a bad mood

I don't know!

Anyway enough self pity for now.

Kirsten

[Guest guest]

on 17/10/01 07:55 PM, Trisha at orTrisha@... wrote:

> I thought a child laid in bed not talking did

> sound rather blissful compared to a squabbling 8 year old!

Guess there's advantages to all the different stages of development - I do

remember not liking 's behaviour when he was 8ish (all very laddy and

aggressive as I remember- yuk, yuk).

but then I've got 2 girly curlies to have as 8ish olds now - Help!! Someone

reassure me they're not all Barbie-fied and fluffy at that age - don't think

I could bear it ;0 Oh if only we could mould them exactly as we wish and

shut them away from all those other influences

Jenni

[Guest guest]

> but then I've got 2 girly curlies to have as 8ish olds now - Help!!

Someone

> reassure me they're not all Barbie-fied and fluffy at that age -

don't think

> I could bear it ;0 Oh if only we could mould them exactly as we

wish and

> shut them away from all those other influences

>

> Jenni

I think they've grown out of Barbie by then!!LOL

my almost 4 year old has just acquired her first Barbie (at a

comparatively late stage it would seem) When she was born I threatened

to shoot the first person who bought her a Barbie...so now it seem I

must go out and shoot myself! (It was her choice of reward in a star

chart situation BTW!)

My 2yo asks to have " S Cub Sebben " on in the car....[sigh] They still

wear nice stuff though... pinnies and Janes! some things are

sacred!!

Angi

[Guest guest]

Angi wrote:

> My 2yo asks to have " S Cub Sebben " on in the car....[sigh] They

still

> wear nice stuff though... pinnies and Janes! some things are

> sacred!!>>>>>>>>..

Going to hate myself for this but as a mother of 3 boys I can guess

that a pinnie is not something your grandma wore when she was baking

but a pinifore dress. But Janes???????? I've no idea.

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

[Guest guest]

cute little shoes by Startrite... round toes, buckle strap, -no idea

why they are called that...look lovely though:-)

(I'm having a boy this time so will be picking people's brains later

on..... doubtless!)

A

_________________

> > wear nice stuff though... pinnies and Janes! some things are

> > sacred!!>>>>>>>>..

>

>

> Going to hate myself for this but as a mother of 3 boys I can guess

> that a pinnie is not something your grandma wore when she was baking

> but a pinifore dress. But Janes???????? I've no idea.

>

> Trisha

[Guest guest]

I agree with this, my friend and I who have similar aged daughters

often say to each other over a choc biscuit that we will really

appreciate this stage when they are coming home with pierced

noses/belly buttons/eyebrows or worse, tattoos and unsuitable

boyfriends!

Francesca

Mum to Kezia (almost out of the stroppy stage but entering the whingey

stage) and Lily (gearing up for the major stroppy stage!)

RE: Toddlers - who'd have 'em!

> Anneliese, this isn't a practical tip to help you now, but it

sometimes

> helps me put things into perspective. I imagine 10-12 years down

the road

> where I have a group of sullen teenagers, skulking about the house,

worrying

> about where they are, etc. etc. - I bet I'll be wishing they were

just 2, 3

> or 4 again and that helps me see the toddler behaviour in a

different light,

> ie. I'd rather have that than some of the teenage problems!!!

>

> Hope you're feeling better.

> Hannah

> -----Original Message-----

> From: Anneliese Handley

>

>

> Tim reduced me to tears 4 times on Thursday - 3 times in one

swimming

> trip - and I just couldn't hack anything any more.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Angi wrote:

> cute little shoes by Startrite... round toes, buckle strap, -no

idea

> why they are called that...look lovely though:-)

> (I'm having a boy this time so will be picking people's brains later

> on..... doubtless!)

> _________________

Thank you now I know!

Boys are easy from the age of 4 camoflage trousers and Action Man

tops!

I used to enjoy dressing them up for church in shirts and smart

trousers now I just give in for an easy life - and if somebody does

not buy J a new pair of trousers for Christmas he will no doubt carry

on wearing the ones with holes in the knees for another year!

The whole congregation at church must think that J only has 1 pair of

trousers and 1 top. Mind you G would wear a t-shirt and shorts the

whole year round if he had his way. As for I he just loves his Bob

the Builder jumper that my SIL knit for him - it will be worn out by

Christmas.

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys J age 8, G age 6 and I age 2

[Guest guest]

Jenni wrote

but then I've got 2 girly curlies to have as 8ish olds now - Help!!

Someone > reassure me they're not all Barbie-fied and fluffy at that

age - don't think > I could bear it ;0 Oh if only we could mould them

exactly as we wish and

> shut them away from all those other influences

>

I think you'll find by the time they're aged 8 they'll be into purple

and black - that's teh good news. The bad news is you are just about

to enter the pink and fluffy zone ....

Francesca, mum to two pink and fluffy girls - agh!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> but then I've got 2 girly curlies to have as 8ish olds now - Help!!

Someone reassure me they're not all Barbie-fied and fluffy at that age -

don't think I could bear it ;0 Oh if only we could mould them exactly

as we wish and shut them away from all those other influences

> Jenni

Fear not - My DD1 grew out of Barbie by about 6-7 years old. She had

been well 'into' Barbie for quite a while, though the clothes were

rather fiddly for her littel hands at first. She passed down all her

stuff to DD2, who played with it a week and then said she didn`t want it

any more.

Barbara

DDs aged 10 - house captain/library monitor/red hat/you name it at

school!

& 7 - just started at Junior school - looks really grown up in her

school tie (sigh)

[Guest guest]

Minor panic tonight, after all those posts about the imminent arrival of

Fluffi-dom for my household I was feeling slightly anxious when Mari

approached me to write something else on her Xmas List - arrgggggghhhhhh

here it comes I thought - " Bob the Builder CD " she said without a trace of

sugary sweetness !!

phew - so far so good - but then again not sure I want to listen to " can you

fix it?, yes I can " over and over and over .........

Jenni

( & Gethyn)

17yrs; Mari 3yrs - Home Birth; Nia 4 wks Home Water Birth

Visit my online photo album > http://www.picturetrail.com/jennihughes

P/W = gwenni. I'd love to see your name in my Guest Book

[Guest guest]

Trisha wrote:

>

> Thank you now I know!

>

> Boys are easy from the age of 4 camoflage trousers and Action Man

> tops!

Not in this house!! I refuse to buy Action Man shirts, football shirts and

camouflage trousers. Luckily likes button down Oxfords!

http://www.foxstitch.co.uk/

[Guest guest]

> phew - so far so good - but then again not sure I want to listen

to " can you

> fix it?, yes I can " over and over and over .........

>

But, oh so fashionable! We have just watched Bob the Builder (DS is

home with a sickness bug) and I'd forgotten how good it was! We were

singing along, good job the neighbours can't see us!!

Ruth

[Guest guest]

We're big into Toy Story at the moment: Joshi is entranced by the idea his

toys are 'alive' and Freya is too young for him to think her vote counts

(she'd watch the Teletubbies happily but at 3, he's almost scornfully

above them!) Mima was given Toy Story 2 for xmas a few years ago, and

Joshi's watched that over and over till I got sick of him rushing round the

house yelling " Not today, Zurg!! BANG! BANG! BANG! " so I bought Toy Story

the other day. Now, we have to have Buzz Lightyear and Woody in bed each

night (fortunately, Tesco do little ones at 3.99!) and everywhere we

go. I'm not sure what Buzz will make of Jabberjacks this morning

Vicki

[Guest guest]

> Trisha wrote:

> > Boys are easy from the age of 4 camoflage trousers and Action Man

> > tops!

> replied

> Not in this house!! I refuse to buy Action Man shirts, football

shirts and

> camouflage trousers. Luckily likes button down Oxfords!

>>>>>>>>>..

I don't even buy them - Devoted Godmother supplies them. The

camoflage trousers were from last Christmas and the AM shirt for his

birthday.

In fact I hardly buy any clothes for them. Charity shop jogging

bottoms are about my limit.

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

[Guest guest]

ah but I plan to do that myself (minus the unsuitable boyfriends...

BTDT) in the hop e that having a mum with a pierced belly

button/tattoo will put them off doing it themselves!!

_________________

Angi 0:-)

that we will really

> appreciate this stage when they are coming home with pierced

> noses/belly buttons/eyebrows or worse, tattoos and unsuitable

> boyfriends!

>

> Francesca