fw: New Barbie Dolls

[Guest guest]

Sorry but after all this talk of Barbie etc I couldn't resist and being a non

doll type person

Caroline

Jersey

1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens

fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain, and

large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Living.

2. Hot Flush Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her

face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her

forehead. Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.

3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see

her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying

mirror.

4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these

new,roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two-

MuMus with tummy-support panels are included.

5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have

definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her

sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry

mules.

6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and

lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line

of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is

really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone

to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg

blue or white and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs

a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor

ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata

and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B & B. Includes a real

tape of " Breaking Up Is Hard to Do. "

9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for$ 199.99. Comes with Ken's house,

Ken's car, and Ken's boat.

10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up

with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of

dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings

religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-

pack of Diet Coke.

11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when

she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot.

She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube,

clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex.

As a bonus this year, the book " Getting In Touch with Your Inner

Self " is included.

Germain

Jersey

British Channel Islands

49º11'30 " N

02º06'12 " W

WGS84