Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 I have just been out in the garden and seen over the fence that my extremely irritating 16 year old neighbour is out in his lean-to smoking crack with his schoolfriends His mum is newly single and works all hours. I have her work email - do I email her? I am really worried for my kids safety - but also worried if i shop him Caroline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 Caroline wrote: > I have just been out in the garden and seen over the fence that > my extremely irritating 16 year old neighbour is out in his lean-to > smoking crack with his schoolfriends > His mum is newly single and works all hours. > I have her work email - do I email her? > I am really worried for my kids safety - but also worried if i shop > him>>>>>>>>> I think it depends - if it was only me who could have possible seen and shopped him then I would be reluctant to do anything. But if there was a whole neighbourhood that could have seen him then I would mention it to his mum. Its worrying that your children and others may think its OK because he is doing it. Trisha SAHM to 3 boys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 Tricky and I don't mean to insult you but are you are absolutely sure it was 'crack'? It is a major accusation if you are wrong and could cause mistrust between and son and mother forever! If it was me and I was *absolutely* 100% sure it was 'crack cocaine I would tell her immediately as it is addictive after the first usage and kills, but if it was something like marijuana I would leave it, they are all fairly likely to try that later on anyway and apart from being a relaxant it is fairly harmless (controversially)! Good luck with you decision. Kirsten what would you do? > I have just been out in the garden and seen over the fence that > my extremely irritating 16 year old neighbour is out in his lean-to > smoking crack with his schoolfriends > His mum is newly single and works all hours. > I have her work email - do I email her? > I am really worried for my kids safety - but also worried if i shop > him > Caroline > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 > I think it depends - if it was only me who could have possible seen > and shopped him then I would be reluctant to do anything. i am not the only one worried about him - i have just been round to our neighbour the other side and she is very concerned too. She is going to ring a police officer she knows for advice. I have just emailed the local neighbourhood watch person for advice as well. I really don't need this at the moment Caroline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 > I have just been out in the garden and seen over the fence that > my extremely irritating 16 year old neighbour is out in his lean-to > smoking crack with his schoolfriends Shop'em. Sorry to be harsh but it is illegal and you have your littlies to worry about. (If he is 16 he probably already thinks you are some biddy that lives next dooranyway, might as well confirm his theory!!!) Beverly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 > Tricky and I don't mean to insult you but are you are absolutely sure > it was 'crack'? It is a major accusation if you are wrong and could > cause mistrust between and son and mother forever! It was a long see through tube that he was inhaling from the top of - with his lighter underneath heating up the substance. DH and I have been searching th internet trying to find out if it is this for definate. They have been seen with lighters and bits of foil in the summer (my neighbour has seen this) If you think it is something else I'd be quite relieved to be honest. Caroline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 > Tricky and I don't mean to insult you but are you are absolutely sure > it was 'crack'? It is a major accusation if you are wrong and could > cause mistrust between and son and mother forever Exactly what I was going to say. Appearances can be deceptive. Also you are in danger of being in the " shoot the messenger " position vis a vis the mother who may not appreciate having bad news. Usually in these situations, the agony aunt recommendation is to tell the boy himself, not the mother in the first instance, that you intend to shop him, unless he confesses to her himself. Ruthie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 > It was a long see through tube that he was inhaling from the top > of - with his lighter underneath heating up the substance. DH > and I have been searching th internet trying to find out if it is this > for definate. They have been seen with lighters and bits of foil in > the summer (my neighbour has seen this) > If you think it is something else I'd be quite relieved to be honest. > Caroline Ah. I am totally ignorant about drugs and what they look like (thank heavens never had the problem) so if it is obviously crack, then that's different. I would still speak to the boy first tho, give him a chance to fess up, then you have no problem in telling the mum. Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 Foil sounds like crack, but a glass bottle could also be grass in resin form, when it is heated the vapours are very intoxicating. My DH has just confirmed to me that it will not be 'crack' as this is smoked through a pipe and can kills very quickie and easily. It is more likely to be heroine or cocaine, both of these are smoked in the way that you describe. Grass is normally smoked with a pipe or joint. Tell his mother tonight!!!! he could be doing himself and other alot of damage! Hope this has helped, sorry to give you such an awful job shopping him, but it will be for the best! Good luck. Kirsten Re: what would you do? > > > Tricky and I don't mean to insult you but are you are absolutely > sure > > it was 'crack'? It is a major accusation if you are wrong and > could > > cause mistrust between and son and mother forever! > > It was a long see through tube that he was inhaling from the top > of - with his lighter underneath heating up the substance. DH > and I have been searching th internet trying to find out if it is this > for definate. They have been seen with lighters and bits of foil in > the summer (my neighbour has seen this) > If you think it is something else I'd be quite relieved to be honest. > Caroline > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 I guess I would try to see his mother and say exactly what I saw(e.g. sucking something through a tube with a lighter) - not what I 'thought' I saw - and let her draw her concclusions. I guess she would be defensive initially, just as I was when a neighbour told me that my cleaner wasn`t doing the number of hours she thought I was paying for. Good luck. Barbara > > It was a long see through tube that he was inhaling from the top > > of - with his lighter underneath heating up the substance. DH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 In message <9r1d9n+t3ss (AT) eGroups (DOT) com>, Caroline Pearce writes >I am really worried for my kids safety - but also worried if i shop >him Personally. I'd do it. I'm not sure that I'd stop with emailing his mum though. I've been mentoring with a drugs project near here, most of the clients are referred here post-initial caution for burglary or similar. So many of the clients say that they would have given up sooner if they'd been 'caught' before they moved on to further crime. And think how his mum would feel if she discovered that you knew and hadn't told her - particularly if he was hurt by it at a later date. Crack is *so* addictive that one use is sufficient. -- Helen Armfield Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 In message <00b101c15b18$f9191d80$b9cc86d9@Kirsten>, Kirsten Boustred writes >Foil sounds like crack, but a glass bottle could also be grass in >resin form, when it is heated the vapours are very intoxicating. > Re: what would you do? >> It was a long see through tube that he was inhaling from the top >> of - with his lighter underneath heating up the substance. DH >> and I have been searching th internet trying to find out if it is >this >> for definate. They have been seen with lighters and bits of foil in >> the summer (my neighbour has seen this) Sorry - this is becoming a more frequent way of smoking crack - but the only way to be sure is to see what colour the substance is going. And that would mean getting closer than you probably want to. If you're unsure then I'd go with Ruthie's suggestion and give him a 'chance' to 'fess up. But also go with a straight 24 hour period and then talk to mum anyway. After all, he is opening his mum up to criminal charges for 'allowing' drug use on her premises - and this charge would certainly be investigated if one of his friends parents 'found out' and reported. -- Helen Armfield Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 >I guess I would try to see his mother and say exactly what I saw(e.g. >sucking something through a tube with a lighter) - not what I 'thought' >I saw - and let her draw her concclusions. > >I guess she would be defensive initially, just as I was when a neighbour >told me that my cleaner wasn`t doing the number of hours she thought I >was paying for. >Good luck. >Barbara I'm with Barbara. I don't know what would be the right medium to tell her - email is quick plus giving you chance to review what you say first and have a copy so you know what you said. Plus there's less chance of being on the receiving end of an knee jerk bad reaction - and less pressure on her to respond to you. I'm not sure though whether information this serious is something she'd want to get at work. I have a friend who was on the other end of this situation with her (adult) son - in fact he's recently confessed because he found himself in an emergency situation where his resultant financial problems had to come out. Some months before, she'd found similar equipment in her house after he'd been house sitting - in fact I think it may have been the cleaning lady who found it and told her. He denied it when tackled then, but it did mean that the more recent events came as less of a shock and she'd already done a bit of research. She thought the equipment in her house had been heroin related from her researches, but he's admitted cocaine use. -- jennifer@... Vaudin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 Thanks for everyones thoughts and ideas. My neighbour and i have had another discussion - and we have now got in touch with a policewomen friend of hers who is mulling over various options too. my mum is also getting in touch with a Schools drugs advisor as well so i can chat with him about it. Will let you know how we get on Caroline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 Caroline my only reservations about " shopping " him/them was the threat of reprisals if he/his friends found out it was you who had " told " on him/them. As others had seen what was happening then he would have no reason to think it was you and I would agree that his mother needs to be told. She might even have her own idea already. I guess from what you said that his parents have recently split up and mum is working very hard to earn her money and maybe this is his way of drawing the attention to him? Trisha SAHM to 3 boys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 This made me smile - but I agree with Beverly. I'd perhaps tell the mum in cagey, might have been, not sure... words to cover myself, but then leave it up to her to deal with (poor thing). Todman Treasurer, Stansted Branch (R5) Mum to , 3¾ > Shop'em. Sorry to be harsh but it is illegal and you have your > littlies to worry about. (If he is 16 he probably already thinks you > are some biddy that lives next dooranyway, might as well confirm his > theory!!!) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 Im not being funny, but how do you know its crack? Not sure what I would do, I wouldnt want to get too involved incase it backfires, but on the otherhand if it affects your kids, you have to. What about calling social services (or is 16 to old to come under that?). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 In a message dated 22/10/2001 17:36:11 GMT Daylight Time, caroline@... writes: > I really don't need this at the moment > Caroline > In that case, dont get involved, leave it with the local neighbourhood watch person, and forget it. There is nothing much you can do unless you want to be singled out. As long as your kids are taught about the dangers of drugs, you have done your best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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