Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 Don't want to get anyone down, but just had to tell someone that my mum had our dog put to sleep tonight! I came home from my antenatal class and DH sensitive to the end, piped up and said " Oh I forgot to tell you, was put down tonight! " He was a lovely setter and 12 yrs old, whom I had had since I was 15yrs old (yes if you do your maths that makes me 27. :-)) I am just very sad and never thought that I would be this upset, he was old and had arthritis so I knew it would come around, but just not so suddenly! Sorry to be so miserable. I'll be better tomorrow. Just keep thinking things like how just yesterday DS gave him his last Bonio biscuits and showed him how to eat them! How do you explain to a 2 yr. old where Nana's dog has gone? Kirsten Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 Sad to hear about your dog - one of the family you grew up with - has died. :-(( Re - telling children about it - I think small children can be a surprisingly matter of fact about death....you could explain that you are a bit sad and you will need lots of cuddles today? Perhaps have a chat about and remember the good times- it might help you more than DS.... I know someone on the list used the Lion King video to help explain death (the circle of life, etc) - may have been for older children though Best wishes Barbara > I am just very sad and never thought that I would be this upset, he was old and had arthritis so I knew it would come around, but just not so suddenly! > > How do you explain to a 2 yr. old where Nana's dog has gone? > Kirsten Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 Kirsten, I really feel for you, I have lost lots of pets in the past, but my beloved horse died when I was 18, and I never really got over it until a year or two ago. The pain lingered because at the time I was doing my a levels, and noone in my family would talk to me about it, so the grief welled up inside. I have 3 more horses now, and one who I got after died, is pretty close to the edge, but I know that as long as I can talk about it to my DH, I will get through it this time. I think, you need to talk to your child, and explain what has happened in simple terms. I dont think its a bad thing for children to see their parents cry, as long as they understand why. I never saw my parents cry, not even at their own parents funeral, so I found bottling up things, the only way. Anyway, try and think of the nice memories, and not of the last few months, your dog new she/he was loved, and is now in doggy heaven! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2001 Report Share Posted October 25, 2001 > Don't want to get anyone down, but just had to tell someone that my > mum had our dog put to sleep tonight! Thats really sad Kirsten. big hugs! i am am sure that my Dad's dog (who they have had since 1985) will be the next...she is so miserable and unwell - didn't even acknowledge me when I saw her on Saturday Just try to imagine that your dog is now perfectly well and rushing around without a trace of illness in doggie heaven. Caroline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2001 Report Share Posted October 25, 2001 we had to do this twice this summer, both my parents 18 yo collie cross and the IL's 10 yo Heinz had to be put down, we just told the girls they got really old and sick and they died so they wouldn;t be around anymore when they visited Granny/Grandma. I really think straightforward is best. Susy at 2 was a bit sad and occasionally asks for the dog when we are in the house it lived in, G at 3 3/4 was very upset but understood pretty well. they were both exceptionally close to my parents dog. I was pretty gutted too, she had been around since my 6th form days _________________ Angi 0:-) > > How do you explain to a 2 yr. old where Nana's dog has gone? > Kirsten Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2001 Report Share Posted October 25, 2001 > Don't want to get anyone down, but just had to tell someone that my > mum had our dog put to sleep tonight! I came home from my antenatal > class and DH sensitive to the end, piped up and said " Oh I forgot to > tell you, was put down tonight! " > > He was a lovely setter and 12 yrs old, whom I had had since I was > 15yrs old (yes if you do your maths that makes me 27. :-)) > > I am just very sad and never thought that I would be this upset, he > was old and had arthritis so I knew it would come around, but just not > so suddenly! > > Sorry to be so miserable. I'll be better tomorrow. Just keep > thinking things like how just yesterday DS gave him his last Bonio > biscuits and showed him how to eat them! > > How do you explain to a 2 yr. old where Nana's dog has gone? Don't try to put this behind you too soon - was a very dear member of your family and will be missed by everyone, it will upset you for a long time, but in time the thoughts will return to happy ones and you will be able to think of him without too much hurt. Our Spaniel " Peru " was put down in 1997 at the age of 12 (having had her since our wedding when I was only 19)and only recently have we all (including DS who knew her from birth until 3 1/2, he's now 7) been able to think of her and smile genuinely :-) Be kind to yourself and talk with people in your family who will understand (maybe not DH - after all, wasn't HIS dog, it's not his fault that he doesn't feel the same :-)) Your toddler will soon forget, don't make too much of it but explain in simple terms if need be - there's no point in skirting the issue, but dealing with death is always harder if someone told you that they had " just gone away " , as then you are always asking when they will come back, and annoying people, most confusing for a child! HTH Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2001 Report Share Posted October 25, 2001 Kirsten - sorry to hear about your dog. We had to explain to DS (3.5 at the time) when my sister's boyfriends dog was put down a few months ago. We went along the " dog very poorly, vet (doctor for animals) couldn't make him better and he died " route. He looked very sad but took it all in. About 2 days later he had lots of questions which we answered. He still mentions it from time to time. The worst thing was it had happened while my sister was away from home. She was told by phone by her BF and we were told as she was terribly upset and we were collecting her from the airport. I needed DS to know that aunty Jane might be very upset when we collected her. Once we got home, the first thing he said to her was " Maverick's dead isn't he " very matter of factly. She looked at me and didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She laughed. Just as well as 2mins later he said " so next time I come to your house, will maverick be dead on the floor? " You could see his logic. A few days later I'd explained M had gone to heaven, up in the sky and at night he was a new star. He sat there working it all out in his mind and said " so how did he get to heaven, did the wind blow him up there? " I was lost for words - for him, everything has to make sense for him to understand it. Hopefully though, it will be easier now if we have to explain any other deaths to him. Todman Treasurer, Stansted Branch (R5) Mum to , 3¾ > > How do you explain to a 2 yr. old where Nana's dog has gone? > Kirsten Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2001 Report Share Posted October 25, 2001 Big hugs, Kirsten, we lost our lovely old Border Collie, Basil, just like this 17 weeks ago at the end of June. He too went very suddenly, from bouncing around to the visit from the vet in four hours. At least though he did not suffer for long and neither did your , and just think of all your good memories of your time with him. I told DD1 (3 years old at the time) that Basil was up in the clouds now and was playing around like a puppy, with no sore paws anymore. She is quite happy with that explanation and often tells me which cloud he is on today! Take care, Francesca sad news > Don't want to get anyone down, but just had to tell someone that my > mum had our dog put to sleep tonight! I came home from my antenatal > class and DH sensitive to the end, piped up and said " Oh I forgot to > tell you, was put down tonight! " > > He was a lovely setter and 12 yrs old, whom I had had since I was > 15yrs old (yes if you do your maths that makes me 27. :-)) > > I am just very sad and never thought that I would be this upset, he > was old and had arthritis so I knew it would come around, but just not > so suddenly! > > Sorry to be so miserable. I'll be better tomorrow. Just keep > thinking things like how just yesterday DS gave him his last Bonio > biscuits and showed him how to eat them! > > How do you explain to a 2 yr. old where Nana's dog has gone? > Kirsten > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 26, 2001 Report Share Posted October 26, 2001 Barbara wrote > How do you explain to a 2 yr. old where Nana's dog has gone? I was amazed how well our 2 older ones coped when we lost our dog.They came with me to the vet,who decided she needed' putting to sleep'.Kids were then 5 and 3 and stayed in the room with me and dog while she died.I was in floods of tears (also pregnant at time) and kids were sad but not distraught.We then brought her home and dad and kids buried her in garden and planted bulbs over her grave,while I cried. I think it is best to be honest with children,even young ones and let them grieve in their own way. Best wishes Kate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2001 Report Share Posted November 10, 2001 wrote >I cant believe it, but I just went to muck out my three horses and >found my oldest, most gorgeous horse dead in his stable Oh I'm so sorry Thinking of you Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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