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Re: mil/dil

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I have to say that I get on really well with my mil - for lots of reasons

she is a second mum to me, which is useful cos my own mother seems to have a

problem with mothering. Don't get me wrong, my mum is a really good friend,

which is great, but its the mothering bits she has a problem with!! My mil

told me that her mil was really horrible to her and so she felt morally

obliged to be horrible back LOL! But she made up her mind that if she was

lucky enough to have a dil that she would do her best to be the opposite.

The only trouble is that sometimes she goes completely OTT and tries to take

over everything, including how we bring up the children. Still shouldnt

complain - she could be the one from hell and I've got plenty of friends

with those.

Ruthie, I've read your postings and understand completely where you're

coming from. My mil told me a saying - " A son is a son til he gets a wife,

when you've got a daughter, she's a daughter for life " it might explain why

sils seem to gravitate to you, without putting down any of your charms! It

works in our family. Despite my sis and me having wonderful inlaws and

families, we both still gravitate to our own families and our own homes. My

oldest brother, who is married, seems to love being with us, but you can see

how his priorities have shifted to his wife and family. My dh is the same -

he has said that he wouldn't care where he lived, so long as he has me and

the children with him aaaahhhh!! Anyone else find this??

Nikki Ford

SAHM to (12), Oliver (9), (4) and Eloise (8/4/00)

" Imagination is more important than knowledge, for knowledge is limited,

while imagination embraces the entire world "

Albert Einstein

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Ruthie, I've read your postings and understand completely where

you're

> coming from. My mil told me a saying - " A son is a son til he gets

a wife,

> when you've got a daughter, she's a daughter for life " it might

explain why

> sils seem to gravitate to you, without putting down any of your

charms! <snip>

Nikki phew! I was beginning to wonder if I was indeed the MIL from

hell in disguise! Thank you!

Ruthie

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Yes, and really to extremes: my dh is on the brink of being totally

estranged from his family, and it doesn't seem to bother him a bit! (Mind

you, those of you who remember my tales of my sil won't be surprised...)

I hate that saying, though - it's haunted me ever since ds was born :)

Vicki

My mil told me a saying - " A son is a son til he gets a wife,

>when you've got a daughter, she's a daughter for life " it might explain why

>sils seem to gravitate to you, without putting down any of your charms! It

>works in our family. Despite my sis and me having wonderful inlaws and

>families, we both still gravitate to our own families and our own homes. My

>oldest brother, who is married, seems to love being with us, but you can see

>how his priorities have shifted to his wife and family. My dh is the same -

>he has said that he wouldn't care where he lived, so long as he has me and

>the children with him aaaahhhh!! Anyone else find this??

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Yes, I agree with you Nikki and that's why I'm worried having only boys.....

We do spend much more time with my parents as they live only about 30

minutes away from us, whereas my PIL live in Aberdeen (500 miles and about 8

hours drive!). We are flying up for half term next week and they come down

to visit us about 3 or 4 times a year, eg. 10 days over Christmas which is

quite a long time when you're all cooped up in doors, over-fed, over-excited

(the kids, not me!), and it's at times like that when I wish they were

closer so we could see them more regularly but not so long IYSWIM. The

summer is different because we spend a lot of time outdoors.

I think each family is different though and I hope that my boys want to

spend time with us!

Hannah

-----Original Message-----

From: Nikki Ford

Ruthie, I've read your postings and understand completely where you're

coming from. My mil told me a saying - " A son is a son til he gets a

wife,

when you've got a daughter, she's a daughter for life " it might explain

why

sils seem to gravitate to you, without putting down any of your charms!

It

works in our family. Despite my sis and me having wonderful inlaws and

families, we both still gravitate to our own families and our own homes.

My

oldest brother, who is married, seems to love being with us, but you can

see

how his priorities have shifted to his wife and family. My dh is the

same -

he has said that he wouldn't care where he lived, so long as he has me and

the children with him aaaahhhh!! Anyone else find this??

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> Yes, I agree with you Nikki and that's why I'm worried having only

boys.....

> We do spend much more time with my parents as they live only about

30

> minutes away from us, whereas my PIL live in Aberdeen (500 miles

and about 8

> hours drive!). We are flying up for half term next week and they

come down

> to visit us about 3 or 4 times a year, eg. 10 days over Christmas

which is

> quite a long time when you're all cooped up in doors, over-fed,

over-excited

> (the kids, not me!), and it's at times like that when I wish they

were

> closer so we could see them more regularly but not so long IYSWIM.

The

> summer is different because we spend a lot of time outdoors.

>

> I think each family is different though and I hope that my boys

want to

> spend time with us!

>

> Hannah

> -----Original Message-----

> From: Nikki Ford [mailto:Nikki.Ford@c...]

Yes - this saying bugs me too! Though in our family it seems to be

the opposite - we ALL prefer DH's parents to my Mum. She *will*

refer to DS as " The child " even in front of him, and constantly tells

me that I have made his behaviour worse because she thinks I didn't

control him when he was really small - she won't have him to stay at

her house, and only comes here when he's at school - the only time

she sees DS is with me at her house, when she expects him to sit

still and be quiet so she can chatter!

My MIL is really supportive, and has DS for me regularly, even offers

to have him overnight so they can go and do exciting things together

early in the mornings (especially when DH comes home - she

understands that we need time together without DS, I guess because

her other two sons marriages have ended in divorce) she's wonderful

and DS adores her (and Grandad! :) )

Ruth

>

>

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I would love to have met my mother-in-law as she sounded like such an

interesting person - sadly she died when dh was 17 - and I never got to meet

my FIL either as he lived in Canada until his death in 1994. Makes life more

simple though I 'spose. Children only have one set of grandparents - no

other family to consider etc etc

Hannah, 28

Mum to Bethany 7, Lawrence 5 1/2, Verity 3, Alfie 8 months

Visit me on the web at :-

http://hannahshome.20m.com

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