Guest guest Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 Well it looks like I am going to manage a couple of days frenetic shopping in NY soon, (11th November has been suggested) albeit without Zehava, who has chosen not to come with. She wants to go back to sem for a couple of weeks' celebrations (traditional for a bride), and then she wants to go to Israel to visit Moishi. She can easily buy her trousseau here in London, but it's harder for me to find things, whereas there it's so much easier. I have to find a couple of outfits for the wedding itself (ceremony, known as the " chuppah " and the dinner will have two different outfits), some for the week of celebrations we have after a wedding, and some..well just because :-) I will stay with my sister in law this time, although there was a bit of an awkward moment last night when she heard I was coming,and asked if I would be prepared to bring my lovely, but elderly, doddery, fussy and very deaf MIL along with me, just for the journey, she'd " take over " once we got there. Knowing as I do how difficult it is to get my MIL from her flat to a venue about three streets away (she manages to make everything into a major expedition into darkest Africa and drives everyone round the twist with her fussing, repeat trips back indoors to find things, or check she has turned the gas off, and the thousands of alternative coats, hats scarves and packages she has to take along) it would be a nightmare for me to have her along for the trip to NY. I felt HORRIBLY selfish saying that it would slow me down and exhaust me to have to be responsible for this delightful but difficult old lady, but SIL understood perfectly, said she wouldn't have asked me if she thought I'd feel bad about refusing, and since MIL didn't know the idea had even been suggested, there was no harm done. (except to my conscience. I feel an absolute HEEL. Can anyone out there make me feel better or do you all agree that I AM a heel? For me, part of the pleasure of a solo trip abroad, is the solo aspect of it, being able to do what I like, when I like, at my own speed, and having the dear old lady with me would be like trying to transport an entire circus along. GUILT GUILT!! Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 Nope you are not a heel. You are a woman on a mission and nothing, absolutly nothing should come between a woman and her shopping! Caroline Jersey o my conscience. > I feel an absolute HEEL. Can anyone out there make me feel better or > do you all agree that I AM a heel? > > For me, part of the pleasure of a solo trip abroad, is the solo aspect > of it, being able to do what I like, when I like, at my own speed, and > having the dear old lady with me would be like trying to transport an > entire circus along. > > GUILT GUILT!! > > Ruthie > > > Germain Jersey British Channel Islands 49º11'30 " N 02º06'12 " W WGS84 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 Tricky situation. Will your sil hold a grudge against you for not bringing her mother? Is this a price of the hospitality? OTOH, if your mil lives with you year round, you really do deserve some respite. Taking her to NY is stressful to you, and however much your sil says she will takeover, you'll still be very much involved. Can your sil come to visit you in London at some later date (the wedding?)? She gets to see her mother (where she can take over till her heart's content), and you get to repay the hospitality. If it were me, I'd go alone if at all possible. Joyce -----Original Message----- From: ruthie@... [sMTP:ruthie@...] For me, part of the pleasure of a solo trip abroad, is the solo aspect of it, being able to do what I like, when I like, at my own speed, and having the dear old lady with me would be like trying to transport an entire circus along. GUILT GUILT!! Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 > Tricky situation. > > Will your sil hold a grudge against you for not bringing her mother? Is > this a price of the hospitality? No absolutely not. She understands 100% that her mum isn't the easiest of travelling companions. > > OTOH, if your mil lives with you year round, you really do deserve some > respite. She doesn't live *with* us..she lives on her own up the road in a flat. It's my own mum, a really badly affected stroke victim, who lives with us year round. I don't deserve any respite, but I am not the daughter, and tbh even my other SIL who lives in London finds her pretty much of a nightmare to take anywhere like on holiday. Taking her to NY is stressful to you, and however much your sil > says she will takeover, you'll still be very much involved. It would also mean I wouldn't have the guest room, so I would have to find a room in a hotel or rooming house. Not a big deal, but it all adds up in the equation. I think my SIL *will* attempt to get her mother to NY with someone else, at a different time, although it must be said that MIL does find the whole shebang very stressful too, although she enjoys it when she's actually there. > Can your sil come to visit you in London at some later date (the wedding?)? > She gets to see her mother (where she can take over till her heart's > content), and you get to repay the hospitality. Oh yes, she will come for the wedding; as the only one of MIL's kids not to live in the UK she feels duty bound to make several trips per yr to visit if she can. She probably won't stay with us though, I will have all my married kids from abroad staying. MIL has a spare room in her flat. > > If it were me, I'd go alone if at all possible. > > Joyce Yup, I think that's how it's going to be. Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 No, not at all. Go for it, I say. If you have be slowed down, there's less time for fun and spending money (but then aren't they the same thing??) Todman Treasurer, Stansted Branch (R5) Mum to , 3¾ > I feel an absolute HEEL. Can anyone out there make me feel better or > do you all agree that I AM a heel? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 Ruthie, you have NO need to feel guilty! You deserve some time out - after all you have the wedding of the millenium to plan... Take MIL when you have others to share the load! I'm very envious of you (and pondering putting in a request as my sister has cancelled her NY trip) - have a GREAT time! Probably best you don't have Zehava with you - it would be a rare mother and bride who managed the trousseau/meringue trip without falling out at some stage, so add jetlag and you've got a stressful situation. Have fun! Anneliese and Toddler Tim NYC shopping trip Well it looks like I am going to manage a couple of days frenetic shopping in NY soon, (11th November has been suggested) albeit without Zehava, who has chosen not to come with. She wants to go back to sem for a couple of weeks' celebrations (traditional for a bride), and then she wants to go to Israel to visit Moishi. She can easily buy her trousseau here in London, but it's harder for me to find things, whereas there it's so much easier. I have to find a couple of outfits for the wedding itself (ceremony, known as the " chuppah " and the dinner will have two different outfits), some for the week of celebrations we have after a wedding, and some..well just because :-) I will stay with my sister in law this time, although there was a bit of an awkward moment last night when she heard I was coming,and asked if I would be prepared to bring my lovely, but elderly, doddery, fussy and very deaf MIL along with me, just for the journey, she'd " take over " once we got there. Knowing as I do how difficult it is to get my MIL from her flat to a venue about three streets away (she manages to make everything into a major expedition into darkest Africa and drives everyone round the twist with her fussing, repeat trips back indoors to find things, or check she has turned the gas off, and the thousands of alternative coats, hats scarves and packages she has to take along) it would be a nightmare for me to have her along for the trip to NY. I felt HORRIBLY selfish saying that it would slow me down and exhaust me to have to be responsible for this delightful but difficult old lady, but SIL understood perfectly, said she wouldn't have asked me if she thought I'd feel bad about refusing, and since MIL didn't know the idea had even been suggested, there was no harm done. (except to my conscience. I feel an absolute HEEL. Can anyone out there make me feel better or do you all agree that I AM a heel? For me, part of the pleasure of a solo trip abroad, is the solo aspect of it, being able to do what I like, when I like, at my own speed, and having the dear old lady with me would be like trying to transport an entire circus along. GUILT GUILT!! Ruthie ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 > No, not at all. Go for it, I say. If you have be slowed down, > there's less time for fun and spending money (but then aren't they the > same thing??) Well...I don't seem to have explained myself very well...but it's not going to happen anyway cos I said " No " . But it would only have been the journey that I would have had her tagging along, MIL would not have been coming with me shopping..although on reflection if we had been there together she might well have fiffed and faffed and slowed me down getting out of the house, so I think it's all to the good that I said no Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 > Ruthie, you have NO need to feel guilty! You deserve some time out - after > all you have the wedding of the millenium to plan... > > Take MIL when you have others to share the load! I'm very envious of you > (and pondering putting in a request as my sister has cancelled her NY > trip) - have a GREAT time! Probably best you don't have Zehava with you - > it would be a rare mother and bride who managed the trousseau/meringue trip > without falling out at some stage, so add jetlag and you've got a stressful > situation. Have fun! > > Anneliese and Toddler Tim I managed to persuade my antenatal class that I teach every Monday night to come twice the week before I go, and give me the week off, so it looks like I am going! :-)) Yeeehah!! Yes I do agree that Zehava might cramp my style! LOL!! What was your request? If it's not too big/difficult to get and doesn't involve going too far from Brooklyn I might be able to do it. I hope it's not too cold there yet Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2001 Report Share Posted October 30, 2001 > One thing, your flight should be cheap at the moment... £204. not too bad. > > Have a lovely trip anyway - and it's great that Zehava's found a dress. > Will her bridesmaids be subject to the same restrictions as she will be? I > think what I mean is (a) will they be unmarried and ( does that make a > difference? (my friend is " conservative " rather than orthodox or reform so > not a strict adherent of all dress codes - eg even her " orthodox " brother's > wife wears a snood not a wig - so I'm not totally up to speed here) > > Do tell us how it all progresses! bridesmaids are aged from 6 till 10 so yes, unmarried! We don't tend to go for adult bridesmaids. They will have to wear dresses with high necks and long(ish) sleeves tho, although being the depths of winter this isn't much of a hardship. We found 4 bridesmaid dresses today on a foray to London N4, another foray into Stamford Hill's orthdox shopping area, and back to N4 to buy the dresses we saw originally. They are totally STUNNING; maroon organza skirts (long) and a maroon and gold brocade bolero top. The problem is they are sleeveless and rather low necked, but they come with their own organza scarves edged with the same brocade, so we can use that fabric to fill in the neckline and then we found a really cheap ballgown (adult size) in exactly the same fabric for only £40 so we bought it just to cut up and use the fabric...well I wouldn't have been able to buy the same fabric for £40. The dressmaker will use this fabric to make sleeves for all four dresses. Regarding snoods versus wigs, some women wear only snoods rather than wigs, sometimes half their own hair is showing at the front so it's more like a beret effect rather than covering your whole hair. We do wear snoods when we don't want to wear wigs, either cos it's too hot, or we don't want to ruin the wig by kitchen fumes, or the weather. Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2001 Report Share Posted October 30, 2001 > It was a bottle of perfume! Dirt cheap in Macy's (well, pricy dirt but > ykwim) but only available in Bond St and Sloane St in the UK... I'll have a > think about whether I really want it without another test and let you > know... Happy to, if I actually go to Manhatten. most of my shopping will be done in Brooklyn, which is totally kitted out for us Jewish ladies ) Maybe it's available in Brooklyn too? Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2001 Report Share Posted October 30, 2001 It was a bottle of perfume! Dirt cheap in Macy's (well, pricy dirt but ykwim) but only available in Bond St and Sloane St in the UK... I'll have a think about whether I really want it without another test and let you know... I do hope it's not too cold yet. I went to Dallas over thanksgiving 8 yrs ago and I was happily in Tshirts all week then VERY cold on the Wednesday and awoke on Thanksgiving to sub-zero and falling snow. The " Big Match " on TV was quite amusing, they kept having to sweep the pitch so that they could see the lines. One thing, your flight should be cheap at the moment... Have a lovely trip anyway - and it's great that Zehava's found a dress. Will her bridesmaids be subject to the same restrictions as she will be? I think what I mean is (a) will they be unmarried and ( does that make a difference? (my friend is " conservative " rather than orthodox or reform so not a strict adherent of all dress codes - eg even her " orthodox " brother's wife wears a snood not a wig - so I'm not totally up to speed here) Do tell us how it all progresses! Anneliese and Toddler Tim who was allowed to get paint, glitter and glue ALL OVER HIS NEW SHOES BOTH UPPERS AND SOLES yesterday at nursery and so mummy was up till 11pm cleaning it off... Re: NYC shopping trip > Ruthie, you have NO need to feel guilty! You deserve some time out - after > all you have the wedding of the millenium to plan... > > Take MIL when you have others to share the load! I'm very envious of you > (and pondering putting in a request as my sister has cancelled her NY > trip) - have a GREAT time! Probably best you don't have Zehava with you - > it would be a rare mother and bride who managed the trousseau/meringue trip > without falling out at some stage, so add jetlag and you've got a stressful > situation. Have fun! > > Anneliese and Toddler Tim I managed to persuade my antenatal class that I teach every Monday night to come twice the week before I go, and give me the week off, so it looks like I am going! :-)) Yeeehah!! Yes I do agree that Zehava might cramp my style! LOL!! What was your request? If it's not too big/difficult to get and doesn't involve going too far from Brooklyn I might be able to do it. I hope it's not too cold there yet Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2001 Report Share Posted October 30, 2001 Dallas weather is very different than in the Northern states. Last Thanksgiving, there was tons of snow all over the northeast and it was something like -15C at the Macy's parade. Right now, the weather is still fairly warm in the daytime (I'm wearing shorts today), if you ignore last weekend. Over the next few weeks it will get colder and colder, with freezing temps fairly guaranteed for Thanksgiving. In two weeks, it will be fairly iffy. Pack warm clothes and dress in layers, I'd recommend. Joyce -----Original Message----- From: Anneliese Handley [sMTP:Anneliese_Handley@...] I do hope it's not too cold yet. I went to Dallas over thanksgiving 8 yrs ago and I was happily in Tshirts all week then VERY cold on the Wednesday and awoke on Thanksgiving to sub-zero and falling snow. The " Big Match " on TV was quite amusing, they kept having to sweep the pitch so that they could see the lines. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2001 Report Share Posted October 31, 2001 Arrrgggghhhhhh > Anneliese and Toddler Tim who was allowed to get paint, glitter and glue ALL > OVER HIS NEW SHOES BOTH UPPERS AND SOLES yesterday at nursery and so mummy > was up till 11pm cleaning it off... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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