Being a mother never ends, does it?

[Guest guest]

Ruthie wrote:

> She came off the phone from him and said airily that he seemed a bit

> depressed, and that he wasn't enjoying yeshivah quite as much as he

> had last term. I got all anxious and fretful at this, <snip>

Ruthie remember that he has just gone back having had a few days at home with

you, and he probably missed out a bit on the " in " jokes or whatever and maybe

it is just taking a few days to settle back down. He maybe feeling a little

jealous with the wedding coming up - who knows what goes on in the minds of

young boys.

I wouldn't worry too much at the moment. As you say he is not far from his

sister and her husband and he seems to get on really well with them so will

surely confide in them if he has any real problems.

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

Jack 8, 6 and Isaac 2

[Guest guest]

Yesterday Yeshaya phoned a couple of times from Israel. He seemed

fine, but kept asking to speak to Zehava, and would she phone back.

She got the message but didn't call him back, for whatever trivial

reason, so when he finally caught her, he was a bit miffed.

She came off the phone from him and said airily that he seemed a bit

depressed, and that he wasn't enjoying yeshivah quite as much as he

had last term. I got all anxious and fretful at this, and she got all

shirty with me saying " you didn't care as much when *I* wasn't so

happy in sem, did you? " (a bit different, I feel, as sem is only in

Gateshead, this is thousands of miles away.)

As he has had his English mobile phone taken from him after running up

huge bills, (going back on PAYG forever!) he can't send *me* text

messages from his Israeli PAYG one, but I can send him some, so I did

3 of them, alternating from concerned to jokey. I spoke to Tavya (my

support, counsel and wise old owl!) this morning, asking her to ask

Dov to speak to Yeshaya and suss out exactly what's going on. She

reckons it's all a bit of a storm in a teacup, and he probably was

just in a bit of a down mood, nothing for me to worry about, and it

will pass, but he's going to them for Sabbath this week, so they'll

have a good chance to talk. I was sitting there talking to her and

crying. I know it' silly, and of course kids when they are away from

home go thru up times and down times, but I just have this need for

all my kids to be OK and happy, otherwise I fret. Well, I have given

up on Azariah, as he is a bit of a lost cause, but the others still

have the power to make me happy or miserable, even the older married

ones.

Logic tells me he didn't tell *me* he was feeling down because he

didn't want to upset me, but...he didn't tell Zehava NOT to tell me,

either. *SIGH*.

Thanks for listening. I'll update you once Dov has spoken to him. By

the way I think Tavya and Dov are the most wonderful wonderful kids.

They are so wise, and sensible, and Dov is the most supportive and

helpful SIL. (Still got tears running down my cheeks, it's so

stupid, it's probably nothing at all and I am fretting away.)

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

(((hugs))), ruthie. I'm sure it will turn out to be a storm in a

teacup. I hope it all resolves itself over Sabbath.

Vicki

[Guest guest]

> Ruthie remember that he has just gone back having had a few days at home with

> you, and he probably missed out a bit on the " in " jokes or whatever

I always found home visits a little unsettling at boarding school. I think

Trisha may have hit the nail

james

[Guest guest]

Ruthie, he probably is a little bit homesick, especially

just after getting back from a trip that you said wasn’t

all that successful. It seems like it should be the other

way around (that he be more homesick after a great trip

than after a not-so-good one), but for me it has always

been the other way. He probably saw that home was neither

so good nor so bad as he had ‘remembered’ it (though he’s

only been gone a short time, one tends to idealize and

vilify exponentially) and that everyone else’s life is

going on without him (especially Zehava’s!), and yet he’s

not really sure of fitting in and having started his ‘new

life’ at Yeshivah.

So be supportive, but don’t get too frantic yet. If he’s

really miserable in the long term, then you’ll have to

rethink, but for now, he’s almost definitely perfectly

fine. Poor thing in the short term, though

And my mom says that being a parent never ends for her,

either.

Hugs to you all,

The periodically homesick,

Phyllis

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

> > Ruthie remember that he has just gone back having had a few days

at home with

> > you, and he probably missed out a bit on the " in " jokes or

whatever

>

> I always found home visits a little unsettling at boarding school.

I think Trisha may have hit the nail

>

> james

I hope that's all it is. Dov spoke to him today and reported back

that he seems OK, no obvious signs of distress there, except maybe

his lack of a suitable evening study partner which leaves him in limbo

a bit.. Moishi is also going to ring him, to invite him to an

all-male engagement bash tonight, so hopefully that will cheer him up.

Thanks!

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

>

> Ruthie, he probably is a little bit homesick, especially

> just after getting back from a trip that you said wasn't

> all that successful. It seems like it should be the other

> way around (that he be more homesick after a great trip

> than after a not-so-good one), but for me it has always

> been the other way. He probably saw that home was neither

> so good nor so bad as he had `remembered' it (though he's

> only been gone a short time, one tends to idealize and

> vilify exponentially) and that everyone else's life is

> going on without him (especially Zehava's!), and yet he's

> not really sure of fitting in and having started his `new

> life' at Yeshivah.

>

> So be supportive, but don't get too frantic yet. If he's

> really miserable in the long term, then you'll have to

> rethink, but for now, he's almost definitely perfectly

> fine. Poor thing in the short term, though

>

> And my mom says that being a parent never ends for her,

> either.

>

> Hugs to you all,

> The periodically homesick,

> Phyllis

Thanks Phyllis. As reported, he seems to be OK, so as you say, and

others too, it is probably just a reaction to his unsuccessful trip

home. We were thinking of going to Israel in the Xmas hols, which is

*very* quiet for us, but I wouldn't want to disorientate him again,

although it would be different, cos we'll be going to *him* rather

than t'other way around IYSWIM.

Personally I find Israel in the winter incredibly boring, no sun or

swimming, but it would be nice to see T, D and Rafi, and maybe get

some writing done. DH loves it there; he works on his own (more

scholarly) writings when he has peace from work.

Ruthie