Guest guest Posted November 3, 2001 Report Share Posted November 3, 2001 Hi Sonjia, hope you don't mind my 2p as a family lawyer. I have often found that children (even younger than Hannah) will say things to one parent about the other to get a reaction. (They do this even where parents are together still!). The trouble arises where one parent (usually the absent parent) does not use a bit of common sense or is bitter about break-up/amount of access etc. I don't know how much you can talk to your ex about Hannah but if possible try to discuss the things that Hannah is saying and present a united front (ie, you and him) to Hannah as this will help. Hope you don't think I am speaking out of turn - it is just that I have seen this kind of thing escalate and parents getting more and more isolated from each other about it. Francesca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2001 Report Share Posted November 4, 2001 Francesca, thankyou,of course I don't think you are speaking out of turn.This is exactly how I feel.....even his sister says she has to reprimand him for saying things to the children and for over-reacting to things Hannah comes out with,the trouble is he is a VERY difficult person to talk to and reason with because he makes up his mind about what you are going to say before you have even said it and so will read what he likes into what is actually said.You can't have a discussion with him because he ends up screaming at you and so can't hear what you are attempting to say anyway. I am just hoping his sister will be able to keep him on the level and also that the fact Hannah hardly ever says such things to me means that I give a suitable response when she does,and so she doesn't bother to try it. Hey ho just keeping my fingers crossed that we can keep things calm. Have just had a fantastic weekend with the kids though so here's to hoping. Thanks for the advice Sonjia Hi Sonjia, hope you don't mind my 2p as a family lawyer. I have often > found that children (even younger than Hannah) will say things to one > parent about the other to get a reaction. (They do this even where > parents are together still!). The trouble arises where one parent > (usually the absent parent) does not use a bit of common sense or is > bitter about break-up/amount of access etc. > > I don't know how much you can talk to your ex about Hannah but if > possible try to discuss the things that Hannah is saying and present a > united front (ie, you and him) to Hannah as this will help. > > Hope you don't think I am speaking out of turn - it is just that I > have seen this kind of thing escalate and parents getting more and > more isolated from each other about it. > > Francesca > --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.291 / Virus Database: 156 - Release Date: 25/10/01 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2001 Report Share Posted November 4, 2001 Hi Sonjia, very relieved to hear that although your ex is " difficult " at least his sister seems reasonable! It sounds as though he is quite bitter at the break-up but hopefully with the passing of time he will improve! Take care, Francesca Re:for Sonjia about Hannah > Francesca, > thankyou,of course I don't think you are speaking out of turn.This is > exactly how I feel.....even his sister says she has to reprimand him for > saying things to the children and for over-reacting to things Hannah comes > out with,the trouble is he is a VERY difficult person to talk to and reason > with because he makes up his mind about what you are going to say before you > have even said it and so will read what he likes into what is actually > said.You can't have a discussion with him because he ends up screaming at > you and so can't hear what you are attempting to say anyway. > I am just hoping his sister will be able to keep him on the level and also > that the fact Hannah hardly ever says such things to me means that I give a > suitable response when she does,and so she doesn't bother to try it. > > Hey ho just keeping my fingers crossed that we can keep things calm. > > Have just had a fantastic weekend with the kids though so here's to hoping. > > Thanks for the advice > > Sonjia > > Hi Sonjia, hope you don't mind my 2p as a family lawyer. I have often > > found that children (even younger than Hannah) will say things to one > > parent about the other to get a reaction. (They do this even where > > parents are together still!). The trouble arises where one parent > > (usually the absent parent) does not use a bit of common sense or is > > bitter about break-up/amount of access etc. > > > > I don't know how much you can talk to your ex about Hannah but if > > possible try to discuss the things that Hannah is saying and present a > > united front (ie, you and him) to Hannah as this will help. > > > > Hope you don't think I am speaking out of turn - it is just that I > > have seen this kind of thing escalate and parents getting more and > > more isolated from each other about it. > > > > Francesca > > > > > > --- > Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). > Version: 6.0.291 / Virus Database: 156 - Release Date: 25/10/01 > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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