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In a message dated 11/3/01 6:05:35 AM W. Australia Standard Time,

writes:

> Do your other children talk about much, or are they all too

> young to remember?

>

was just a year old when was born - he was at the birth as it

was 10 weeks early and happened so quick. I don't know how much he picked up

at the time - probably very little. was born a year after . We

talk about to the boys - in a very matter of fact way - not a great

deal, but we have always been very open about it. We have photos of

taken very shortly after he died, which are framed and placed around the

house with those of the other two boys. He looks as if he is asleep, and is

lying in a small moses basket (actually a doll's one). The boys know why he

died - which is significant as had the same problems, and would have

also died had the problem not been picked up before he was born and treated

before he was born. Not to go into too many details, they both had fluid in

their chest cavities, which squashed their lungs. In 's case, chest

drains were put into his chest to drain off the fluid (while still in the

uterus), so that by the time he was born, he could breathe, and his lungs had

matured. They just whipped out the drains and put steri-strip over the holes

as soon as he was born.

Sometimes the boys will say " I wish was here " . This is usually when

they've been fighting each other, and they have this belief that

would have been the perfect brother :-)

Debbie Slater

Perth, WA

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