Guest guest Posted May 10, 2003 Report Share Posted May 10, 2003 damn, you seriously need to dump that kid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2003 Report Share Posted May 10, 2003 That kid sure is a pain in the a**. Have you meet his folks? I wonder if they have any social skills. The BEST Ben story yet. Ben was here this morning for an hour or an eternity, depending on who you're asking. Then he had to go, because he had a playdate with somebody else this afternoon. He and spent the time playing on the ps2 and trying to skateboard in the driveway, until Ben's older brother dropped by and shot in the eyes with a watergun. <sigh> So Ben decided it was time to go and get ready for his afternoon. Well, around 3pm, the doorbell rang. It was Ben, and another boy. They came in, and Ben introduced the other boy as . Ben led straight to the ps2 and asked if they could play 's new BMX game. said yes, and Ben said he and would play first. I was VERY uncomfortable with this, and called my mom to ask what I should do. She said what any of you would've said -- listen and when is not being treated fairly, intervene. So I listened, and was pretty happy to watch and call out encouragement, so I was okay with that. So Ben and played on the ps2 for about half an hour. Then Ben got out one of 's 2-player table games, and got ready to play. " No, " said Ben, " me and DANIEL are going to play. " I came out of the kitchen and said (in a not very nice tone), " If you come to play with 's toys, you play with , too. " Hmph. Seconds later, Ben said to the other two in a sulky yet devious voice, " let's go play in the basement, " while shooting me a sidelong look. They were in the basement for about 15 minutes. During that time, I fired up the ps2 and loaded final fantasy, and settled in to play. Soon enough, Ben came upstairs headed straight for the game, in tow. He took one look at me, and then turned to . " Come on, " he said. " I just remembered we have to go. " gave him a blank and then quizzical look. " REMEMBER? " said Ben, willing to just go along with it. Now, this is where I got evil and stupid. " Go on, . Ben wants to leave because now I'm on the playstation and he can't play. Thanks for coming over, it was nice to meet you. Bye, Ben. " And off they went. I hate that kid. Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2003 Report Share Posted May 10, 2003 > That kid sure is a pain in the a**. Have you meet his folks? I wonder if they have any social skills. > You know, I hate to say this, but this is how *many* NT kids act...even with NT peers. It's always about them...about what they can get out of a situation...and it doesn't matter if you are using someone to do it. My kids took a lot of this kind of abuse from the neighborhood kids when they were younger, because they were homeschooled, and hadn't been " socialized " ...at least, that is what moms told me when I tried to talk to them about things that happened. Seems to me that kids these days are being taught survival of the fittest...am I wrong about that? Raena (sheltered homeschooling mama bear...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2003 Report Share Posted May 10, 2003 > Seems to me that kids these days are being taught survival of the > fittest...am I wrong about that? > Raena: I used to feel this way, I guess I still do, but now I have kids in school, I hope it isn't true. I think the problem with school is that you have groups and groups always behave differently than individuals. I used to notice when I went on homeschooled outings that the kids were always reasonably nice and polite, but they were there with their parents and the family was the group. School outings used to go sometimes at the same time, or when I was just out with my kids and the school outings were always sort of rude and obnoxious and they didn't seem very interested usually. So I do think, because I know that some of those kids in the groups are decent kids that it is herd mentality stuff. Get them on their own and they are often okay. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2003 Report Share Posted May 10, 2003 I don't think you are wrong about the survival of the fittest being taught to kids these days, Raena. Somehow people forget that social skills/empathy/sympathy need to be taught, or at least the appearance thereof. When I was a child and I did something mean to someone, I always heard, " How would you feel if that happened to you?? " And I was expected to answer. A few months ago, thought it was funny that one of his classmates cannot eat (he has a GI tube). I finally said to , " You shouldn't laugh at him for that. HE doesn't laugh at YOU because you can't talk. " burst into tears because he finally understood what he was doing was wrong. I told his teacher that story, and she thought I was " mean " for saying that to him. Harumpf. I see lots of kids like Ben, who have are only looking out for themselves, who do not consider others. And I wonder what they will be like when they are adults. Well, I know what they will be like, and I think it's scary. Maggie ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2003 Report Share Posted May 10, 2003 I'm sorry Ben treated (and you) that way. I see military school in his future. Maggie ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2003 Report Share Posted May 10, 2003 Ben was here this morning for an hour or an eternity, depending on who you're asking. Then he had to go, because he had a playdate with somebody else this afternoon. He and spent the time playing on the ps2 and trying to skateboard in the driveway, until Ben's older brother dropped by and shot in the eyes with a watergun. <sigh> So Ben decided it was time to go and get ready for his afternoon. Well, around 3pm, the doorbell rang. It was Ben, and another boy. They came in, and Ben introduced the other boy as . Ben led straight to the ps2 and asked if they could play 's new BMX game. said yes, and Ben said he and would play first. I was VERY uncomfortable with this, and called my mom to ask what I should do. She said what any of you would've said -- listen and when is not being treated fairly, intervene. So I listened, and was pretty happy to watch and call out encouragement, so I was okay with that. So Ben and played on the ps2 for about half an hour. Then Ben got out one of 's 2-player table games, and got ready to play. " No, " said Ben, " me and DANIEL are going to play. " I came out of the kitchen and said (in a not very nice tone), " If you come to play with 's toys, you play with , too. " Hmph. Seconds later, Ben said to the other two in a sulky yet devious voice, " let's go play in the basement, " while shooting me a sidelong look. They were in the basement for about 15 minutes. During that time, I fired up the ps2 and loaded final fantasy, and settled in to play. Soon enough, Ben came upstairs headed straight for the game, in tow. He took one look at me, and then turned to . " Come on, " he said. " I just remembered we have to go. " gave him a blank and then quizzical look. " REMEMBER? " said Ben, willing to just go along with it. Now, this is where I got evil and stupid. " Go on, . Ben wants to leave because now I'm on the playstation and he can't play. Thanks for coming over, it was nice to meet you. Bye, Ben. " And off they went. I hate that kid. Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2003 Report Share Posted May 11, 2003 I think you handled it pretty well. Ben sounds like he's trying to manipulate so that he can bring his friends to play with 's toys. What a brat!! Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2003 Report Share Posted May 11, 2003 > > Now, this is where I got evil and stupid. " Go on, . Ben wants to leave because now I'm on the playstation and he can't play. Thanks for coming over, it was nice to meet you. Bye, Ben. " > Not evil and stupid at all, you know. Just beautifully frank. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2003 Report Share Posted May 11, 2003 > Get them on their own and they are often okay. Except when it's Ben. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2003 Report Share Posted May 11, 2003 Maggie, I think you handled it right . How else will he realize that others have feelings of their own?? I frequently say the same things to . Unfortunately, he doesn't think about it the next time something like that comes up, or he doesn't generalize it. Sue Re: The BEST Ben story yet. > I don't think you are wrong about the survival of the fittest being > taught to kids these days, Raena. Somehow people forget that social > skills/empathy/sympathy need to be taught, or at least the appearance > thereof. When I was a child and I did something mean to someone, I > always heard, " How would you feel if that happened to you?? " And I was > expected to answer. A few months ago, thought it was funny that > one of his classmates cannot eat (he has a GI tube). I finally said to > , " You shouldn't laugh at him for that. HE doesn't laugh at YOU > because you can't talk. " burst into tears because he finally > understood what he was doing was wrong. I told his teacher that story, > and she thought I was " mean " for saying that to him. Harumpf. > > I see lots of kids like Ben, who have are only looking out for > themselves, who do not consider others. And I wonder what they will be > like when they are adults. Well, I know what they will be like, and I > think it's scary. > > Maggie > > ________________________________________________________________ > The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! > Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! > Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2003 Report Share Posted May 11, 2003 > > Get them on their own and they are often okay. > > Except when it's Ben. > Well, there are always exceptions! Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2003 Report Share Posted May 11, 2003 > I'm sorry Ben treated (and you) that way. I see military school in > his future. At this point, I just think it's funny. hasn't caught on, so he's not suffering, and Ben is just so predictable it's laughable. Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2003 Report Share Posted May 11, 2003 Thanks, Sue. I think I handled it right too, but well, Mrs. and I have two different styles. She's Southern, and I'm a Yankee. That says it all, I think. But I appreciate YOUR support! Maggie ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2003 Report Share Posted May 11, 2003 Maggie, I think you handled it well also...but I am a Yankee too so...... Warm Regards Mom to ASD 11/25/00 & 5/10/99 In Maine Re: Re: The BEST Ben story yet. Thanks, Sue. I think I handled it right too, but well, Mrs. and I have two different styles. She's Southern, and I'm a Yankee. That says it all, I think. But I appreciate YOUR support! Maggie ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2003 Report Share Posted May 11, 2003 Maggie, I think you handled it well also...but I am a Yankee too so...... Warm Regards Mom to ASD 11/25/00 & 5/10/99 In Maine Re: Re: The BEST Ben story yet. Thanks, Sue. I think I handled it right too, but well, Mrs. and I have two different styles. She's Southern, and I'm a Yankee. That says it all, I think. But I appreciate YOUR support! Maggie ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2003 Report Share Posted May 11, 2003 And we Yankees must stick together, ! Maggie ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2003 Report Share Posted May 11, 2003 And we Yankees must stick together, ! Maggie ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2003 Report Share Posted May 11, 2003 > Now, this is where I got evil and stupid. " Go on, . Ben wants to leave because now I'm on the playstation and he can't play. Thanks for coming over, it was nice to meet you. Bye, Ben. " > > And off they went. Nothing evil and stupid about that. > I hate that kid. I can see why. Sissi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2003 Report Share Posted May 12, 2003 Took me awhile to get this far as I still have 70 emails to go. Actually I was pretty excited for even though Ben was being a jerk. This about it this way... if and Ben are friends and Ben brings over one OTHER friend every say month or so then how many new friends will make Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2003 Report Share Posted May 12, 2003 > this way... if and Ben are friends and Ben brings over one OTHER friend > every say month or so then how many new friends will make Yeah, but what do we do...mug the kid for his last name and phone number? (I wish) Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2003 Report Share Posted May 12, 2003 Bleech. I will tell you the rule of thumb for any playdate. Never, never, never ever! Never have 3 children playing. It should always be an even number if at all possible. Lots of children will get like Ben and when there are 3. Jacquie H The BEST Ben story yet. Ben was here this morning for an hour or an eternity, depending on who you're asking. Then he had to go, because he had a playdate with somebody else this afternoon. He and spent the time playing on the ps2 and trying to skateboard in the driveway, until Ben's older brother dropped by and shot in the eyes with a watergun. <sigh> So Ben decided it was time to go and get ready for his afternoon. Well, around 3pm, the doorbell rang. It was Ben, and another boy. They came in, and Ben introduced the other boy as . Ben led straight to the ps2 and asked if they could play 's new BMX game. said yes, and Ben said he and would play first. I was VERY uncomfortable with this, and called my mom to ask what I should do. She said what any of you would've said -- listen and when is not being treated fairly, intervene. So I listened, and was pretty happy to watch and call out encouragement, so I was okay with that. So Ben and played on the ps2 for about half an hour. Then Ben got out one of 's 2-player table games, and got ready to play. " No, " said Ben, " me and DANIEL are going to play. " I came out of the kitchen and said (in a not very nice tone), " If you come to play with 's toys, you play with , too. " Hmph. Seconds later, Ben said to the other two in a sulky yet devious voice, " let's go play in the basement, " while shooting me a sidelong look. They were in the basement for about 15 minutes. During that time, I fired up the ps2 and loaded final fantasy, and settled in to play. Soon enough, Ben came upstairs headed straight for the game, in tow. He took one look at me, and then turned to . " Come on, " he said. " I just remembered we have to go. " gave him a blank and then quizzical look. " REMEMBER? " said Ben, willing to just go along with it. Now, this is where I got evil and stupid. " Go on, . Ben wants to leave because now I'm on the playstation and he can't play. Thanks for coming over, it was nice to meet you. Bye, Ben. " And off they went. I hate that kid. Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2003 Report Share Posted May 12, 2003 In a message dated 5/12/03 10:17:16 AM Eastern Daylight Time, vhunnius@... writes: > Yeah, but what do we do...mug the kid for his last name and phone number? Sure why not?? Be sure to offer good food Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2003 Report Share Posted May 12, 2003 > Bleech. I will tell you the rule of thumb for any playdate. Never, never, never ever! Never have 3 children playing. It should always be an even number if at all possible. Lots of children will get like Ben and when there are 3. > Yup...and the strongest personality will run the show... Raena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2003 Report Share Posted May 12, 2003 Exactly! Jacquie H Re: The BEST Ben story yet. > Bleech. I will tell you the rule of thumb for any playdate. Never, never, never ever! Never have 3 children playing. It should always be an even number if at all possible. Lots of children will get like Ben and when there are 3. > Yup...and the strongest personality will run the show... Raena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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