Guest guest Posted November 5, 2001 Report Share Posted November 5, 2001 Which book would you buy for a newly pregnant friend? I'm looking for the informed choice kind of thing rather than the " don't you worry your pretty head about it my dear, just do as they tell you " type, or the " ain't it awful " mother who hasn't grown up herself yet type. My favourite (ie the one I had out of the library my entire first pregnancy) was the BBC book Having a Baby by Kohner and Penny Mares, but it is a 1996 publication and things change - I know that dietary advice changed whilst I was pregnant (ie the avoiding peanuts if there is any allergy in the family CMO recommendation). I feel a bit like the midwife-lecturer at the beginning of my obstetrics module who said " I can't recommend a good textbook because I haven't written it yet " Has anyone got the NCT Complete Book of Pregnancy and what do they think of it? I'm intending the book for someone who has access to plenty of other women's experiences, so having lots of personal experiences in it isn't a particular plus point. (Already planning to give her NCT membership) I know we had a sort of similar discussion for ?Lonnie's pregnant (and lucky!) friend when she was making up a parcel. -- jennifer@... Vaudin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2001 Report Share Posted November 5, 2001 Has anyone got the NCT Complete Book of Pregnancy and what do they > think of it? I'm intending the book for someone who has access to > plenty of other women's experiences, so having lots of personal > experiences in it isn't a particular plus point. (Already planning to > give her NCT membership) : I bought the NCT book for Tavya when she was expecting Rafi and she loved it, I thought it was good too, just the breastfeeding latch position wasn't very good which was a shame in an NCT book. Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2001 Report Share Posted November 5, 2001 > Which book would you buy for a newly pregnant friend? I'm looking for > the informed choice kind of thing The books I found most useful were: Enken et al - Evidence Based Care Pat - Every Woman's Birth Rights Nicky Wesson - Labour Pain Typing this quick 'cos have 101 things I should be doing whilst Nia is sleeping and shouldn't be on this damn addictive thing anyway!! So titles may no be 100% correct. Jenni ( & Gethyn) 17yrs; Mari 3yrs Home Birth; Nia 7 wks Home Water Birth http://www.picturetrail.com/jennihughes P/W = gwenni " If you don't know your options - you don't have any " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2001 Report Share Posted November 5, 2001 I nearly always buy newly pregnant friends Vicki Irvone's The best friends guide to pregnancy. Not because I think it is 100% wonderful but I do think that it is a good read it is humorous and that is often lacking in pregnancy books.. (gets very dry) and also most women rush out when they first find out they are pg and buy 2 or 3 pregnancy books so the best friends guide is usually a welcome addition.. I liked the NCT one when I had a look at it at a friends house (but not read it through) There is the Miriam Stoppard New pregnancy and birth book (updated 2001) not read it though but that might be a idea?? Lonnie mama to Phoebe and Eloisa and expecting a Christmas delivery.. When the jar is always full of biscuits What's the fun in biscuits?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2001 Report Share Posted November 6, 2001 Thanks for the suggestions. Having read the reviews of Best Friend on Amazon which all sounded quite jolly until the review which included actual quotations (thank you, thank you that reviewer whoever you are!), it sounds exactly what I *don't* want to get her I'm afraid. She doesn't need flippant comments about ruining her sheets if she has a home birth - she fetched the sheets out of the washing machine after mine. Enkin et al eh Jenni? - I hadn't thought of that as a 'pregnancy book', but not a bad idea (though it can be very depressing to see how much of the care which is actually offered is, according to the research, ineffective or even harmful) I'm hoping for something which will tell her what to expect -- jennifer@... Vaudin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 My favourite book was 'The Encyclopedia of Pregnancy and Birth' by Janet Balaskas (of Active Birth Centre fame) and Yehudi Gordon (alternative-ish obstetrician?). It is quite heavy and quite hard going in places but I love the detail of it. Has quite an alternative feel about it - sections on yoga and massage etc. and on homebirth. I liked the A-Z of medical/obstetric terms at the back. Re: Which pregnancy book? > Thanks for the suggestions. > > Having read the reviews of Best Friend on Amazon which all sounded > quite jolly until the review which included actual quotations (thank > you, thank you that reviewer whoever you are!), it sounds exactly > what I *don't* want to get her I'm afraid. She doesn't need flippant > comments about ruining her sheets if she has a home birth - she > fetched the sheets out of the washing machine after mine. > > Enkin et al eh Jenni? - I hadn't thought of that as a 'pregnancy > book', but not a bad idea (though it can be very depressing to see > how much of the care which is actually offered is, according to the > research, ineffective or even harmful) > > I'm hoping for something which will tell her what to expect > -- > > jennifer@... > Vaudin > > *** NCT enquiry line - 0 *** > > Live chat http://www.yahoogroups.com/chat/nct-coffee > > Have you found out about all the other groups for the NCT online? > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 I swore by the What to Expect.. the first year by Eisenberg, Murkoff and Hathaway. They do a pregnancy book and a toddler book in the series. Toddler book is OK (not as good as the first year) but didn't have pregnancy to know what it's like. Todman Treasurer, Stansted Branch (R5) Mum to , 3¾ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 on 06/11/01 06:22 PM, Vaudin at jennifer@... wrote: > Thanks for the suggestions. One more - Janet Balaskas: The New Active Birth? I personally didn't like it because IIRC some of her ideas on things were too mainstream and far too co-operative for my liking Please don't ask me for examples as I can't remember and have buried my copy .... somewhere ... must shine the sink tomorrow Jenni ( & Gethyn) 17yrs; Mari 3yrs Home Birth; Nia 7 wks Home Water Birth http://www.picturetrail.com/jennihughes P/W = gwenni " If you don't know your options - you don't have any " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2001 Report Share Posted November 8, 2001 Let me know if you find a good one, . I loved the Best Friend one, exactly because it DID tell me what to expect in the nicest most flippant way , but we are all different. My problem with all the other pregnancy books were that they were all so bl..y POSITIVE and I was feeling a right miserable cow for not thinking that heart burn and swollen legs and varicose veins in intimate places were not the most FANTASTIC thing that had ever happened to me. If you are just getting one book, there are probably quite a few that are more informative (I had lots of those too), but the Best Friend's one was the only one that made it feel OK to be scared of birth and told it all as it is. But you know your friend best, for factual books I think the old classics are pretty comprehensive. Karina > Thanks for the suggestions. > > Having read the reviews of Best Friend on Amazon which all sounded > quite jolly until the review which included actual quotations (thank > you, thank you that reviewer whoever you are!), it sounds exactly what I *don't* want to get her I'm afraid. She doesn't need flippant > comments about ruining her sheets if she has a home birth - she > fetched the sheets out of the washing machine after mine. > > I'm hoping for something which will tell her what to expect Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2001 Report Share Posted November 8, 2001 >Let me know if you find a good one, . >I loved the Best Friend one, exactly because it DID tell me what to >expect in the nicest most flippant way , but we are all different. My >problem with all the other pregnancy books were that they were all so >bl..y POSITIVE and I was feeling a right miserable cow for not >thinking that heart burn and swollen legs and varicose veins in >intimate places were not the most FANTASTIC thing that had ever >happened to me. Thing is, she knows all *that* stuff - that's what Big Sisters are for, right? And the friends I have who say stuff like Vicki Wotsit are not my Best Friends - precisely because they say things like Vicki Wotsit. It's hard to get the balance right, even for one person - a newish friend of mine complained a couple of weeks before she gave birth " Why does everyone want to rain on my parade? " and a few weeks after " Why does nobody tell you that having a new baby is going to be like this? " :-)))))) I've decided to order the one that I liked myself, even if it did come out in 1996 and will take a while to get here (assuming it is not secretly out of print!), and the NCT one (perhaps I'll stick a label over the dodgy latch photo Ruthie ?:-)) and something called The Best Labour Possible? by Lesley Hobbs, but having them sent here so I can vet them first! I'll let you know what I think. (Since I have also ordered the company secretary's handbook, I have quite some bill. But I only have one little sister, who has not been blessed as I was with the experience of seeing her still all slippery, doing her nappies (I was a dab hand with the pins then!) and watching Mum feed her, and she was very good to me during my own pregnancies (she was always saying " Could we have a chair for my sister? " and sending me Stress Relief kits which consisted of chocolates, body cream and bath bombs :-) - which remind me not to be a total boring f**t and treat her to some Lush goodies too. And top of the list is NCT membership, which I think she would have done anyway) She'll have access to my vast personal collection of course - from " How Not to Let the Bastards Grind You Down " to " 1,001 Dreadful Things that can Happen to You and Your Baby " (I paraphrase, obviously :-)), including, if she really wants, a US style coached labour manual called Joyous Childbirth which includes a speech that the father is to make to the newborn which starts something like " Welcome to this phase of your being . You have arrived on Planet Earth in the constellation something or other. I am your Earth Father and this is your Earth Mother... " which just is *not* us and makes me fall about laughing. (But it does have a diagram of how big a 10cm dilated cervix is - I know that 10cms sounds pretty obvious, but..) There is a book which doesn't purport to be a guide (despite the title), and isn't one, but is very good on the personal earthy and not necessarily glad, glad, glad to be alive sort (more of a Pollyanna Plath this one) - it's Operating Instructions: A diary of my son's first year by Anne Lamott. -- jennifer@... Vaudin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2001 Report Share Posted November 8, 2001 LOL , this is so funny! I think unless they ask, there's no point telling someone what it's *really* like, partly because it's different for everyone anyway, and also because you can't convey what it will be like - they actually have to experience it. I did buy Kate Figes (?) book Life after Birth, but I'd already had at least one baby, maybe two and didn't agree with everything she said even then. Would you like that book? You're welcome if I haven't already chucked it out..... You could at least vet it and see what you think, but I seem to remember that it was quite negative, which is why I didn't enjoy it. Hannah -----Original Message----- From: Vaudin Sent: 08 November 2001 15:46 It's hard to get the balance right, even for one person - a newish friend of mine complained a couple of weeks before she gave birth " Why does everyone want to rain on my parade? " and a few weeks after " Why does nobody tell you that having a new baby is going to be like this? " :-)))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2001 Report Share Posted November 9, 2001 hmmn. Looking back, I think people *did* tell dw and I what it would be *really* like, but before the event we didn't believe them and afterwards, we were too tired to remember being told james eva 7 wks > LOL , this is so funny! I think unless they ask, there's no point > telling someone what it's *really* like, partly because it's different for > everyone anyway, and also because you can't convey what it will be like <snip> > -----Original Message----- > From: Vaudin [mailto:jennifer@v...] > Sent: 08 November 2001 15:46 > It's hard to get the balance right, even for one person - a newish > friend of mine complained a couple of weeks before she gave birth > " Why does everyone want to rain on my parade? " and a few weeks after > " Why does nobody tell you that having a new baby is going to be like > this? " :-)))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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