FW: I think this was written by a man!

[Guest guest]

I know you've probably seen this before but it still makes me laugh

Caroline

> Subject: FW: I think this was written by a man!

>

>

>> The last sentence of this is the best one . I'm sure it is true!!!!

>>

>>

>> The fundamental differences between men and women

>>

>> NICKNAMES

>> If , Suzanne, Kate and go out for lunch, they will

>> call each other , Suzanne, Kate and .

>> If Mike, Charlie, Dave and go out, they will

>> affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Sh*t-Head and

>> Four-eyes.

>>

>> EATING OUT

>> When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and will each

>> throw in 20, even though it's only for 32.50. None of them will

>> have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change

>> back.

>> When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

>>

>> MONEY

>> A man will pay 2 for a 1 item he needs.

>> A woman will pay 1 for a 2 item that she doesn't need but it's on

>> sale.

>>

>> BATHROOMS

>> A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and

>> toothpaste,shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M & S.

>> he average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.

>> A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

>>

>> ARGUMENTS

>> A woman has the last word in any argument.

>> Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

>>

>> CATS

>> Women love cats.

>> Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

>>

>> FUTURE

>> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

>> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

>>

>> SUCCESS

>> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

>> A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

>>

>> MARRIAGE

>> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

>> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

>>

>> DRESSING UP

>> A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the

>> bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.

>> A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

>>

>> NATURAL

>> Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

>> Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

>>

>> OFFSPRING

>> A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist

>> appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears

>> and hopes and dreams.

>> A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in his house.

>>

>> THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

>> Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two

>> people remembering the same thing.

>>

>> What a woman says:

>> C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean. Your pants are

>> on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now.

>> What a man hears:

>> C'MON . blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ON

>> THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, NOW

>>

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