Upsetting email

[Guest guest]

Ruthie wrote:

Well according to a moderator who contacted me, it *is* from a troll,

cos the person she purports to be is uncontactable. But it still

doesn't make any sense because she mentions how I " didn't even have

the decency to leave in the summer after I made so many nice people

leave " . How would a newly subscribed member know all of that?

I have missed the original message on this - however who ever it is could

have subscribed and checked the archives.

I hope you are not even thinking of leaving Ruthie - with the biggest social

event of our year - namely your daughters wedding - coming up soon you CAN

NOT possibly leave. We want to know all the details - your dress, your trip,

your planning. If you leave you will leave so many of us disappointed so

DON'T EVEN THINK about it. OK!

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

Jack 8, 6 and Isaac 2

[Guest guest]

I won't name names but I have just received a very nasty email indeed

from a member of this forum, it appears to be addressed to the list,

but it has not appeared in public. It is not a troll, as it is from a

long standing member. It accuses me of alienating members by being

spoilt and self obsessed, basically. Maybe that's true. If most of

you feel like this about me, I will do the decent thing and leave. I

am not going to leave in a strop or tantrum, but only if she is right,

and I have alienated lots of you by what I write about.

Maybe I am spoilt and self obsessed, and I do know that I have a

better life than most, so have no right to complain. What she says

has a core of truth about it, the question is, what the rest of you

feel, or is she a lone voice? I certainly don't want to be anywhere I

am not welcome.

Even if all this is true, the email was bitchy and catty in the

extreme, but as I said, if she is voicing a majority view then I have

got you all very very wrong indeed, and my place is not here.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

(((Ruthie)))

I don't support what you say this person has said, I feel that we are all

different and all self obsessed in our own ways - I know I am You have

never alienated me and there's always the delete button anyhow! I don't

want to see you go. I really don't see the better life thing - we've all

got different lives and wishes and dreams and things that we love about our

lives and things we don't - you're no different Ruthie

I for one would like you you to name names because I really don't want to

see a recurrence of bad feelings that there was on this list before

Check with the person first though and if they don't want it aired on list I

wonder WHY?

I know that others will disagree with me saying it should be aired on list

but I'm p****d off with crap like this. Life's too short for the sort of

email Ruthie describes. Plus I'm not sure I feel comfortable talking

honestly and openly about my life and my precious children on a list where

there is back biting.

Jenni (feeling sad)

on 08/11/01 07:36 PM, ruthie@... at ruthie@... wrote:

> I won't name names but I have just received a very nasty email indeed

> from a member of this forum, it appears to be addressed to the list,

> but it has not appeared in public. It is not a troll, as it is from a

> long standing member. It accuses me of alienating members by being

> spoilt and self obsessed, basically. Maybe that's true. If most of

> you feel like this about me, I will do the decent thing and leave. I

> am not going to leave in a strop or tantrum, but only if she is right,

> and I have alienated lots of you by what I write about.

>

> Maybe I am spoilt and self obsessed, and I do know that I have a

> better life than most, so have no right to complain. What she says

> has a core of truth about it, the question is, what the rest of you

> feel, or is she a lone voice? I certainly don't want to be anywhere I

> am not welcome.

>

> Even if all this is true, the email was bitchy and catty in the

> extreme, but as I said, if she is voicing a majority view then I have

> got you all very very wrong indeed, and my place is not here.

>

> Ruthie

[Guest guest]

Ruthie how awful for you.

I certainly don't feel you should leave,and you have never alienated me.

Kate.

[Guest guest]

Well according to a moderator who contacted me, it *is* from a troll,

cos the person she purports to be is uncontactable. But it still

doesn't make any sense because she mentions how I " didn't even have

the decency to leave in the summer after I made so many nice people

leave " . How would a newly subscribed member know all of that?

I certainly won't name the person she is pretending to be, if it isn't

her.

R

>

> > I won't name names but I have just received a very nasty email

indeed

> > from a member of this forum, it appears to be addressed to the

list,

> > but it has not appeared in public. It is not a troll, as it is

from a

> > long standing member. It accuses me of alienating members by

being

> > spoilt and self obsessed, basically. Maybe that's true. If most

of

> > you feel like this about me, I will do the decent thing and leave.

I

> > am not going to leave in a strop or tantrum, but only if she is

right,

> > and I have alienated lots of you by what I write about.

> >

> > Maybe I am spoilt and self obsessed, and I do know that I have a

> > better life than most, so have no right to complain. What she

says

> > has a core of truth about it, the question is, what the rest of

you

> > feel, or is she a lone voice? I certainly don't want to be

anywhere I

> > am not welcome.

> >

> > Even if all this is true, the email was bitchy and catty in the

> > extreme, but as I said, if she is voicing a majority view then I

have

> > got you all very very wrong indeed, and my place is not here.

> >

> > Ruthie

[Guest guest]

I have missed the original message on this - however who ever it is

could

> have subscribed and checked the archives.

Ah right of course, I hadn't thought of that. Well, if you are

sure... I am happy to stay of course, so long as I know I am not

alienating you all by my postings.

Please drop me a quiet word if you feel I am. I have tried to avoid

overdoing the Jewish angle, but sometimes people ask me things, eg the

question about Zehava and wigs. I am happy to answer everything so

long as I don't get accused of " ramming religion down everyone's

throat. "

I *know* I am better off than a lot of you. This is what made this

email so painful to read, it wasn't outrageously impossible to

believe.

It ended up " Enjoy your trip to NY Ruthie, but don't go to Manhattan,

we wouldn't want the stench to spoil your shopping now would we? "

The whole email was written in that kind of delightful vein. :-(

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

> Ruthie how awful for you.

> I certainly don't feel you should leave,and you have never alienated

me.

> Kate.

Thanks. But if someone is harbouring such venom I wish I hadn't told

too much about my flight details now. Me and my big mouth. I am

nervous enough about flying without even bad *vibes* accompanying me,

let alone possibly something else.

Silly I know. Or ..?

R

[Guest guest]

Ruthie

Down a bottle of Rescue Remedy and " Don't worry, be happy " and hopefully our

positive " vibes " will conteract the negative.

Caroline

Jersey

>

> Thanks. But if someone is harbouring such venom I wish I hadn't told

> too much about my flight details now. Me and my big mouth. I am

> nervous enough about flying without even bad *vibes* accompanying me,

> let alone possibly something else.

>

> Silly I know. Or ..?

>

> R

Germain

Jersey

British Channel Islands

49º11'30 " N

02º06'12 " W

WGS84

[Guest guest]

> Ruthie

> Down a bottle of Rescue Remedy and " Don't worry, be happy " and

hopefully our positive " vibes " will conteract the negative.

>

> Caroline

> Jersey

hehe. good idea. Thanks everyone I feel a lot better.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

on 08/11/01 08:12 PM, ruthie@... at ruthie@... wrote:

> Ah right of course, I hadn't thought of that. Well, if you are

> sure... I am happy to stay of course, so long as I know I am not

> alienating you all by my postings.

Phew!! Glad to hear it was 'a troll' should that be or ???

Just a thought though Ruthie, this has happened to you before - do you think

it could be the same person joining under different names? Wondering if

this is personal IYSWIM.

Anyway so pleased it's sorted, I'm feeling far too tired and emotional for

nastiness from within this community ... trolls? who gives a ---- pathetic

creatures - they need to get a life.

Jenni

( & Gethyn)

17yrs; Mari 3yrs Home Birth; Nia 8 wks Home Water Birth

http://www.picturetrail.com/jennihughes P/W = gwenni

" If you don't know your options - you don't have any "

[Guest guest]

In article <9seo30+57tv (AT) eGroups (DOT) com>, ruthie@... writes

>Well according to a moderator who contacted me, it *is* from a troll,

>cos the person she purports to be is uncontactable. But it still

>doesn't make any sense because she mentions how I " didn't even have

>the decency to leave in the summer after I made so many nice people

>leave " . How would a newly subscribed member know all of that?

>

>I certainly won't name the person she is pretending to be, if it isn't

>her.

It should be possible to tell from the full headers - dh has just

attempted to explain to me how but I didn't quite follow it - he says he

will explain in a post if required. He also says that assuming it is a

troll, if they can be identified from the headers, they should be

reported to their ISP, as most reputable ISPs will respond to such

reports by pulling accounts.

HTH.

Cath

[Guest guest]

Don't leave Ruthie - it is probably that same saddo sicko person who

was a troll on this list in the summer under a different e-mail

address. She's the one with the problem - not you.

Francesca

Upsetting email

> I won't name names but I have just received a very nasty email

indeed

> from a member of this forum, it appears to be addressed to the list,

> but it has not appeared in public. It is not a troll, as it is from

a

> long standing member. It accuses me of alienating members by being

> spoilt and self obsessed, basically. Maybe that's true. If most of

> you feel like this about me, I will do the decent thing and leave.

I

> am not going to leave in a strop or tantrum, but only if she is

right,

> and I have alienated lots of you by what I write about.

>

> Maybe I am spoilt and self obsessed, and I do know that I have a

> better life than most, so have no right to complain. What she says

> has a core of truth about it, the question is, what the rest of you

> feel, or is she a lone voice? I certainly don't want to be anywhere

I

> am not welcome.

>

> Even if all this is true, the email was bitchy and catty in the

> extreme, but as I said, if she is voicing a majority view then I

have

> got you all very very wrong indeed, and my place is not here.

>

> Ruthie

>

>

> *** NCT enquiry line - 0 ***

>

> Live chat http://www.yahoogroups.com/chat/nct-coffee

>

> Have you found out about all the other groups for the NCT online?

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> > Ah right of course, I hadn't thought of that. Well, if you are

> > sure... I am happy to stay of course, so long as I know I am not

> > alienating you all by my postings.

>

> Phew!! Glad to hear it was 'a troll' should that be or ???

>

> Just a thought though Ruthie, this has happened to you before - do

you think

> it could be the same person joining under different names?

Wondering if

> this is personal IYSWIM.

This theory carries some weight, apparently, yes. I don't want to say

too much.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

> Don't leave Ruthie - it is probably that same saddo sicko person who

> was a troll on this list in the summer under a different e-mail

> address. She's the one with the problem - not you.

>

> Francesca

Yes, you could be right.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

I concur with Jenni; I enjoy most of Ruthie's posts - and where she

wants support I am glad to give it - I find what she says about relig

interesting and it is after all enlightening about another faith, I'd

be just as interested for someone to tell us about their Moslem /

Buddhist ceremonies.

I hope you will stay, Ruthie... I also very much value your input as

ANT and BFC and your wider experiences of family and teenage life, and

for goodness sake, you can't go or we won't hear about Zehava's

wedding!!!!

love

Caro

[Guest guest]

>

> It ended up " Enjoy your trip to NY Ruthie, but don't go to

Manhattan,

> we wouldn't want the stench to spoil your shopping now would we? "

>

> The whole email was written in that kind of delightful vein. :-(

>

> Ruthie

How horrible - who IS she pretending to be?

Caro

[Guest guest]

She is talking cr*p whoever this emailer is. If she was speaking for all of

us, she would have addressed the list, not just you personally. If she

doesnt like your views, she need not read them!

Dont worry Ruthie, she is definately a minority!

[Guest guest]

> I won't name names but I have just received a very nasty email

indeed

Ruthie - belatedly I wanted to add my 'voice' to that of the others -

I for one enjoy your posts (as you are aware) and would miss your

posts. It is worrying that potentially there is someone who is so

bigotted but let's hope that in fact it is 'just' a troll.

Beverly

PS I had a question that I wanted to ask you - maybe I'll wait to you

get back from NY or post you direct!

[Guest guest]

> > I won't name names but I have just received a very nasty email

> indeed

> Ruthie - belatedly I wanted to add my 'voice' to that of the others

-

> I for one enjoy your posts (as you are aware) and would miss your

> posts. It is worrying that potentially there is someone who is so

> bigotted but let's hope that in fact it is 'just' a troll.

>

> Beverly

> PS I had a question that I wanted to ask you - maybe I'll wait to

you

> get back from NY or post you direct!

Thanks Beverley, ask away whenever you want!

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

> How horrible - who IS she pretending to be?

> Caro

I think the real question is, who is she *really*, is she still on

here legitimately, and whose alias is she hiding behind to fire off

her cowardly shots?

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

I've just been catching up and I have to say that this has left a

*very* nasty taste in my mouth.

I sincerely hope you're wrong Ruthie, but I fear you may have hit the

nail on the head :-( and if you have, someone is sitting out there

basking in the upset she (or I suppose it could be a he) has caused -

not a nice thought.

Cerys

Mum to (1/12/95) & Kieran (31/12/98)

www.the-byrne-house.org.uk

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because

you stopped laughing.

>

> I think the real question is, who is she *really*, is she still on

> here legitimately, and whose alias is she hiding behind to fire off

> her cowardly shots?

>

> Ruthie

[Guest guest]

> Well according to a moderator who contacted me, it *is* from a troll,

> cos the person she purports to be is uncontactable. But it still

> doesn't make any sense because she mentions how I " didn't even have

> the decency to leave in the summer after I made so many nice people

> leave " . How would a newly subscribed member know all of that?

umm, think *archives*.

This is *exactly* what trolls do. Look for some sort of controversy (either by

lurking or searching archives) and then jump in and wind it right up. It sounds

like a pretty obvious tack for someone who really wanted to get at you and stir

up some trouble on-list. It isn't hard to mung the SMTP originator so it looks

like it came from someone else. Either look at the mail headers or just mail

back to apparent originator and ask them to confirm whether it is from them or

not (in a non-confrontational way since it sounds likely to be not)

james

[Guest guest]

It didn't come from a SMTP acct.

-----Original Message-----

From: bin man [sMTP:postmistress@...]

This is *exactly* what trolls do. Look for some sort of controversy

(either by lurking or searching archives) and then jump in and wind it

right up. It sounds like a pretty obvious tack for someone who really

wanted to get at you and stir up some trouble on-list. It isn't hard to

mung the SMTP originator so it looks like it came from someone else.

Either look at the mail headers or just mail back to apparent originator

and ask them to confirm whether it is from them or not (in a

non-confrontational way since it sounds likely to be not)

[Guest guest]

> She is talking cr*p whoever this emailer is. If she was speaking

for all of

> us, she would have addressed the list, not just you personally. If

she

> doesnt like your views, she need not read them!

>

> Dont worry Ruthie, she is definately a minority!

>

>

Thanks , it's good to hear, but she obviously did *try* to post

her vitriole to the list, it was moderated and stopped, so she sent it

to me.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

Ruthie,

You wrote that there was a core of truth in the criticisms this

person made about you. It's always very painful (well it is for me -

I've had my share of 'helpful' emails, though not in association with

this list) when people write stuff that you feel has a grain of truth

because you can't just mentally dump the whole lot in the bin. But

sometimes that's still where this kind of stuff deserves to go. Dunno

about you but I prefer to get pointers about my behaviour from people

who care about me and don't get a kick out of telling me.

I was reflecting on this and have concluded that we like apples

because they are tasty, juicy and good for us - stuff the cores!

Looking forward to lots more of the tasty, juicy and good for us stuff Ruthie!

And enjoy the Big Apple.

Hugs,

--

jennifer@...

Vaudin