Thanks... was zombie

[Guest guest]

I think Karina you are getting conflicting advice from people is that you

have to decide what you are comfortable with. Some people hate having baby

in bed with them - some babies hate been in bed with you-others prefer baby

to be in their own room and will used controlled crying.

They all probably work to some extent but you have to decide what you are

comfortable with.

And another suggestion...... what about trying baby massage before you send

him to bed? Or lavender or another oil in his bedroom (check before you do

that)? My son loved having my Avon relaxing lavender spray on his arms

before he went to bed.

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

Jack 8, 6 and Isaac 2

[Guest guest]

I'm still reading... but thanks to everyone for advice on DS'

horrible sleeping patterns.

Still struggling to pick a strategy - half of you say he needs more

comforting (as in cosleeping), the other half that he needs less (as

in controlled crying)... and I agree with both, in a way. But doing

both at the same doesn't work, as he gets just as confused as me...

Thursday night (night after Wednesday horror night) gave him Calpol

and dressed him in nice thick suit on top of sleepsuit. And

miraculously he slept from 8 to 7.

Then Friday night he did his favourite party trick, which is to do

the exact opposite of what you expect. Basically you mimick totally

what you did the day before (same tea, milk, calpol, sleepsuit etc)

and he does the exact opposite - ie cried from 1 to 3.

I DID to controlled crying with him in the summer (Francesca's

advice, I think) even though I never thought I would, but it DID

work, and he WAS killing me, so I had to do something (at that point

he was 10 months and still waking up every 2 hours every night for a

feed).

So we've gone a long way, at least now I don't feed him in the night

anymore, and he CAN sleep through the night - but only about 3 nights

in every 3 weeks, and never when I expect him too.

But I shall read all your mails again and pick out some more advice -

might try homeopathy and cranial osteopathy for no other reason than

being desperate. And do the accounts to see if we can afford to have

some childcare for both babes in January (even if just 2-3 hours one

morning), to save my sanity if he doesn't start sleeping. (My mum

would have done it, but she's in Oslo...bit far to fly for a nap...).

Also nice to hear I'm not the only one...

Karina

Mum to Emilia (3, sleeps as a log from 8 in the evening to 9 in the

morning) and Sebastian (1, sleep what's the fun in that).

[Guest guest]

Karina - for what it's worth - I do think babies who experience

controlled crying take a while to settle fully into it, perhaps

there are some who settle completely after just a few nights, but

there is so much going on in terms of different developments within

them, that *they* aren't the same baby from week to week - they are

constantly adjusting to new skills and experiences and growths - so

worth being persistent, and - crucially - being absolutely sure that

they have had

bowlfuls of comfort throughout the day time. That was what worked

for DS who is a very good sleeper now (as is his Dad) whereas I was

very let it all hang out with DD who is not such a good sleeper (but

neither was *her* dad) - so I don't really know what worked!!

But we did do several bouts of controlled crying with DS, particularly

had to do it again whenever we had been away - and I wouldn't do it at

all when he had asthma or colds - and it did eventually pay off - but

I do very very much sympathise with your zombie state, been there done

that and would prefer not to have to suffer like that again!! Will be

thinking of you Karina...

DS is already a back seat driver, at just four yrs - asked DH rather

exasperatedly why he had just driven through a red light!!! (DH was

turning left on a green filter light)....

Have just read Trisha's post and do agree with that and also the

lavender drops suggestion which we've also done..

love

Caro