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Re: Priceless *Sissi

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Sissi

That made me so sad to think about Boone not having any birthday

parties.

Then, I was sad for you, as a mom who probably misses those big

things like that.

Then I wondered if Boone would like to have a birthday party. Or if

it would be an unwelcome change in his routine.

Now I'm all befuddled, because I don't know exactly what I was going

to say, what I should say,...

all I know is it feels sad, because I wish for those moments for you.

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I may be way out in the weeds on this one but aside from small family parties I

do not plan to have big parties for my boys (even the NT one). Now easy for me

to say when they are 2 and 4 lol. I think the special day and taking one or 2

close friends to an event better. I hope my children will too.

Warm Regards

Mom to ASD 11/25/00 & 5/10/99

In Maine

Re: Re: Priceless *Sissi

> That made me so sad to think about Boone not having any birthday

> parties.

>

doesn't have them either.

>Then, I was sad for you, as a mom who probably misses those big

>things like that.

You get over it pretty quick, once you see your kid at somebody else's party

and realize that it's just NOT a good idea.

It's easy to make a special birthday without having a party. Last year we

took and one little girl to a drive-through safari park. They had a

GREAT time, and he still talks about it.

Jacquie

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> That made me so sad to think about Boone not having any birthday

> parties.

>

doesn't have them either.

>Then, I was sad for you, as a mom who probably misses those big

>things like that.

You get over it pretty quick, once you see your kid at somebody else's party

and realize that it's just NOT a good idea.

It's easy to make a special birthday without having a party. Last year we

took and one little girl to a drive-through safari park. They had a

GREAT time, and he still talks about it.

Jacquie

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> That made me so sad to think about Boone not having any birthday

> parties.

>

> Then, I was sad for you, as a mom who probably misses those big

> things like that.

>

> Then I wondered if Boone would like to have a birthday party. Or

> if it would be an unwelcome change in his routine.

>

> Now I'm all befuddled, because I don't know exactly what I was

> going to say, what I should say,... >

This post really hit home to me...not so much because never

has had, and probably never WILL have a birthday party with

friends...but because it is such a clear example of the struggle of

raising very severely impacted kids...and how hard it is for others

to know what to " feel " for a mom dealing with it. :-)

So, here's my take on it...being one of those moms. Altho there was

a time when it really stung, I am very rarely sad that doesn't

have birthday parties anymore...I am sad that he doesn't know or care

that it's his birthday. I am sad that he would rather leave presents

sitting unwrapped than deal with the stress of even one new object in

his world.

And I am sad that his older siblings never have a completely " normal "

birthday party, because is invariably there being at least a

little odd. I try to think of it as one of those " growth

experiences " for them, where you gain some life changing perspective

because of being forced into a situation where you must learn

compassion and understanding for those who are different, but it

rarely turns out that way. :-\ Every part of our life is colored by

the enormity of ' differences...and that is both good and bad,

for everyone.

> all I know is it feels sad, because I wish for those moments for

> you. >

What I do is look for other " moments " ...just as valid, just as

wonderful, like this one:

In February, I was looking for ...and I called out, " Where's

? " Now, this was directed at the other kids, as is not

one to respond to such things...but suddenly I heard a cheerful, " Hee

I am! "

I have not heard those words come out of ' mouth since he was

four.

That's better than any birthday party...trust me. :-)

Raena

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I bring birthday cake, party paraphenilia, and party favors to 's

school, and we celebrate there. All the kids love it, has a

blast, and I'm guaranteed a captive audience for my son's birthday.

Maggie

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> I bring birthday cake, party paraphenilia, and party favors to 's

> school, and we celebrate there. All the kids love it, has a

> blast, and I'm guaranteed a captive audience for my son's birthday.

Boone's birthday is in June. :(

I try not to let it bother me that he'll never have parties like Amber and

Dillon had when they were little, but it does. It bothers me a lot.

Sissi

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> In February, I was looking for ...and I called out, " Where's

> ? " Now, this was directed at the other kids, as is not

> one to respond to such things...but suddenly I heard a cheerful, " Hee

> I am! "

Oh, RAENA! Did you tell us this before? I can't believe I wouldn't have

remembered.

>

> I have not heard those words come out of ' mouth since he was

> four.

>

> That's better than any birthday party...trust me. :-)

Oh, much much better; Putter's speech was and still is SO slow to come in.

Yes, he can read well, yes, although I do not know how well he understands,

but the words are still so difficult for him.

As I have said before, the highs are higher, but the lows are much lower

than when you are raising NT kids. I know this for I spent quite a few

years thinking that that was what I was raising as did you, Raena.

Salli

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