IEP meeting from Hades

May 12, 2003

This would be a clue to me that IEP goals were for a classroom and not for

your son. This is why I did this because the goals from another child is the

classroom were so different from mine I couldn't see how both her being

addressed.

There are two other options: One from diff2learn which has a sheet with

circle time etc so that you can facilitate language (sign as well). If you

don't know what he does during the day you cannot do this.

I hope you did not sign the IEP and I know that I would go to mediation over

this. But I'll be going to my next IEP within the month which will make a

total of 5 in 6 months even if you don't include mediation.

May 12, 2003

's IEP meeting was today. The participants were: Mrs. Lussier

(school principal), Mrs. ('s primary teacher), Mrs.

(interpreter), lie Nagler (occupational therapist), Libby

(speech therapist), Dr. Goodrich ('s psychologist), Jo (Family

Resource Center Director and friend), and me. Mrs. Sutton (reading

specialist) and Mrs. Bowers (third grade teacher) made brief cameos. The

first hour, which essentially involved reporting 's progress, went

smoothly. I have learned not to argue with test results, because

although they don't reflect 's knowledge and ability, his skills do

not exist unless he performs them at school. Dr. Goodrich exited after

the first hour…her presence was actually quite nice, since she

essentially listened and then complimented the school performances on

their work with . Sadly, it was the second hour that was MOST

dramatic.

Mrs. reviewed HER goals for for next year. I had minor

corrections, but I was agreeable. And then I did the dastardly deed…I

introduced my spreadsheet for 's goals ('s idea).

Essentially, it required that Mrs. check off each day which IEP

goals had worked on. This information IS NOT given to me on his

daily note typically. I made it clear that I would provide the sheets

each week and that I wanted the information simply to have a better

knowledge of 's day, which would determine which skills I would

focus on in the evening. Mrs. flat out refused to do this. She

said she conveys enough information to me, that I am only required to

have IEP goal information every nine weeks during report card time, and

that she has nine other children whose needs she must attend to. I

pursued this, because I was puzzled why it was so difficult for her to

check off boxes. Even Mrs. Lussier seemed a bit perturbed by Mrs. '

response. I am certain that I conveyed my disappointment and frustration

(I was chewing on a pen cap which cracked in half during this time), but

I finally said, " I'm not going to get this. Let's move on. " And at this

point, Mrs. checked out emotionally from the meeting. She made

little contributions to further discussion, busying herself with her many

papers. So Mrs. Lussier and I led the meeting…wait, I should correct

myself. Mrs. made little contribution except to veto all my

requests.

Next, lie made a strong case for sensory integration for . I

was hesitant to work with her at first, since I considered her lazy, but

I have corrected those wrong impressions. She worked damn hard to

evaluate for SI and to advocate for him to have this during the

meeting. No comment from Mrs. . She was looking for a piece of

paper she had neglected to bring to the meeting. will have OT

focusing on sensory integration for an hour a week, to be scheduled when

school resumes. YAY!

I next asked that 's IEP contain a sign language goal. Nope, said

Mrs. . He has a reading program and other programs during which he

can learn sign. I pointed that that much of 's difficulty in

communication is a result of insufficient sign vocabulary. Even though I

study signs every day, I am not fluent, and it is difficult to learn on

one's own. So Libby took over, since it is a communications goal. She

wrote the goal so that would learn signs to reflect social studies

and science curriculum. I KNEW there was no way I would get social

studies and science goals, but Mrs. Lussier promised I can borrow

textbooks….joy, I get to teach all that he's missed. But I was so

glad that Libby stepped in--for whatever reason, Mrs. defers to

her.

Finally, cringing inwardly, I requested that be included in third

grade recess. 's special ed class doesn't have recess (some

nonsense about having difficulty getting the children in wheelchairs

outside), and I believe it's a wonderful opportunity for to play

with his NT peers. Nope, said Mrs. . Recess would be during

's reading time, and Maggie, if you want one thing, you have to

give up another. I said, Mrs. , surely you don't think I would

sacrifice 's reading for recess. At this point I was ready to

lunge across the table to throttle her and put her out of everyone's

misery. Mrs. Lussier stepped in--she assured me that a compromise can be

made, that can have recess at least twice a week, that she will

check classroom schedules and we can decide next year when he will be

included. Mrs. Lussier will do this. She does what she says she will

do, and she rather adores my boy.

At one point during the meeting, I pointed out to Mrs. that

has chunks of time in his day when nothing of particular importance is

occurring. For example, he doesn't need to watch Nickelodeon at school.

(Between 1130 and 12, the kids watch Nick. Every time I go into the

classroom at this time the TV is tuned to that channel.) SO, the last

thing Mrs. says to me, in an extremely snotty voice, is " We hardly

ever watch Nickelodeon. The kids watch educational programs. " Well, I

suppose one could consider Blue's Clues educational.

I know Mrs. is very unhappy with me. To her, I am like chalk

across a blackboard, and vice versa. However, I only want what is best

for --my motivation is not to make her school life hell. Although

at this point, if that occurs too, who am I to quibble? I cannot express

how grateful I am that Mrs. Lussier and Libby were there, particularly

Mrs. Lussier. She is a great advocate for , and I specifically

asked her to be at the IEP meeting, to make every effort to attend,

because I knew Mrs. would deny my input. Before I left the school,

Mrs. Lussier patted my arm and said, " Don't worry, Maggie. We'll get

everything together for you. " And I know that she will.

Mrs. IS a wonderful teacher-- has made tremendous strides in

her classroom. And it is not my wish to alienate her. I just want what

is best for . But I'm sure at this point, Mrs. has laminated

my photo and is throwing darts at it.

Maggie

May 12, 2003

Never having had a IEP, I don't know if that is a good or bad one but I am so

glad that you had some people on your side. Mrs. sounds like a PITA with a

lot of things. Why do they have TV at school? Just wondering. I hope I can be as

strong as you when I have to go to an IEP!

Warm Regards

Mom to ASD 11/25/00 & 5/10/99

In Maine