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Caro wrote:

> Does it drive anybody else mad the way toys (and clothes) are so

> strongly stereotyped these days? (on the high street, anyway) I

> have no problems with my children playing with gender specific toys

> but also want to be able to find lots and lots of neutral type of toys

> (OK there are lots!) but also lots of other colours to wear.

I think there is nothing wrong with boys playing with dolls but MIL and DS3's

godfather would have a fit if they saw Isaac doing so.

He played lovely at a friends last week with her 3 year old daughter putting

the babies in the buggy and pushing them about. Makes a lovely change from

AM killing DR X.

DS1 would also play for hours with a doll but only at Grandma's where nobody

else could see him (ie DS2 who would tease him).

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

Jack 8, 6 and Isaac 2

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Does it drive anybody else mad the way toys (and clothes) are so

strongly stereotyped these days? (on the high street, anyway) I

have no problems with my children playing with gender specific toys

but also want to be able to find lots and lots of neutral type of toys

(OK there are lots!) but also lots of other colours to wear.

Caro, hoping to start off lots of lively debate....

SAHM to Livi (13) Toby (4), menagerie, DH is branch secretary, I'm

newsletter editor/gen enquiries/ trying to decide whether to train for

ANT/BFC Surrey/Sussex border.

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> Does it drive anybody else mad the way toys (and clothes) are so

> strongly stereotyped these days? (on the high street, anyway) I

> have no problems with my children playing with gender specific toys

> but also want to be able to find lots and lots of neutral type of

toys

> (OK there are lots!) but also lots of other colours to wear.

>

> Caro, hoping to start off lots of lively debate....

Oh this " give a girl a toy car and a boy a doll " debate? I have found

it doesn't work. Girls will be girls, and boys will be boys, and

girls will tuck their toy cars up in a pram, and boys will play action

man with their dolls.

If you don't give boys weapons to play with (and we didn't) they'll

make some from lego.

Ruthie

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Totally agree here. After 2 boys, our toys and clothes were all targeted

at boys. When dd came along, she only ever wanted to play with the few

girlie toys we ended up with, and all her clothes *have* to be pink or

purple. Even dd2, who doesn't seem as girlie (she climbs and wrecks things

like a boy) still only wants to wear girls' clothes and play with girlie

toys. I can honestly say that we did not encourage sex stereotypes - they

really did come naturally.

Joyce

-----Original Message-----

From: ruthie@... [sMTP:ruthie@...]

Oh this " give a girl a toy car and a boy a doll " debate? I have found

it doesn't work. Girls will be girls, and boys will be boys, and

girls will tuck their toy cars up in a pram, and boys will play action

man with their dolls.

If you don't give boys weapons to play with (and we didn't) they'll

make some from lego.

Ruthie

*** NCT enquiry line - 0 ***

Live chat http://www.yahoogroups.com/chat/nct-coffee

Have you found out about all the other groups for the NCT online?

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You’re all stiffening my resolve to get Calvin a doll for

Christmas. He already has a tea set ( a few bits and bobs

from a car boot sale) and he really likes it - especially

to dump water in the bathtub. And I agree that the clothes

(here and in the US) all seem to be ‘boy’ or ‘girl’. If

this new baby is a girl, she’s going to be wearing a lot of

blue stuff. Maybe she’ll get my blue eyes...

And on to knowing the gender, I certainly don’t mind

knowing, but won’t stress out if it can’t be seen. It goes

both ways in the US, too - I remember some people on my

Jan00 bulletin board who paid for a private scan after the

official ones just so they could try to see if it was a boy

or girl. Others were averting their gaze when the baby was

doing splits and pointing.

Phyllis

__________________________________________________

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My two DDs wear a lot of blue (both have Daddy's big blue eyes) when I

can wrestle them away from the pink and purple!!!

Francesca

>

Phyllis wrote

If this new baby is a girl, she's going to be wearing a lot of

blue stuff. Maybe she'll get my blue eyes...

>

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>Youre all stiffening my resolve to get Calvin a doll for

>Christmas.

My nephew requested a Barbie for the Xmas before his mum was expecting

her second child - the Barbie which has a pushchair and baby

(?Shelley?). He probably won't thank me for telling people this now -

he's 11 and his sister is almost five and he tells everyone it's hers!

He wanted a family to play with though, with Barbie, two Action Men and

the baby driving round in Action Man's Jeep.

--

Sue

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Did anyone see photos of the doll for sale in Japan atm? It's a Barbie-type

model of a pregnant woman, supposedly in honour of the Japanese Crown

Princess xxxx who is about to deliver the first royal baby for 30 years.

Apparently, anyone who purchases the doll will receive the matching baby in

the post two weeks later!!!!

Lesley

SAHM to four

Chair, Deeside NCT

-----------

From: " Sue

>

> My nephew requested a Barbie for the Xmas before his mum was expecting

> her second child - the Barbie which has a pushchair and baby

> (?Shelley?).

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> Did anyone see photos of the doll for sale in Japan atm? It's a

Barbie-type

> model of a pregnant woman, supposedly in honour of the Japanese

Crown

> Princess xxxx who is about to deliver the first royal baby for 30

years.

> Apparently, anyone who purchases the doll will receive the matching

baby in

> the post two weeks later!!!!

>

>

> Lesley

> SAHM to four

Yes I did see that picture, and read the article about the baby frenzy

in Japan at the moment. Apparently she was pregnant once before and

the media blame themselves for her miscarriage as they literally

followed her to each antenatal visit in a helicopter!! This current

media frenzy is what they call " leaving her alone!! "

Ruthie

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Phyllis - the big Boots at Kew used to do a nice boy doll which had

the gt advantage for toddlers of being soft bodied - and/or I still

have the one DS had, very little played with, if you would like it?

Caro can't quite remember how old Calvin is, not very old I think?

> You're all stiffening my resolve to get Calvin a doll for

> Christmas. He already has a tea set ( a few bits and bobs

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Caro,

That would be great! Name your price and I'll send a

commission to the NCT for the virtual NNS ;)

Phyllis

> and/or

>I still

>have the one DS had, very little played with, if you would

>like it?

>Caro can't quite remember how old Calvin is, not very old

I

>think?

> You're all stiffening my resolve to get Calvin a doll for

> Christmas. He already has a tea set ( a few bits and bobs

__________________________________________________

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Gender toys & clothes

> Does it drive anybody else mad the way toys (and clothes) are so

> strongly stereotyped these days?

> but also lots of other colours to wear.

YES, Sorry to shout, but DD1 has sort of indecisive light ginger hair (what

polite people call strawberry blonde). Really bright bold fuchsia pink,

orange and deep purple are fine, all shades of green and blue are ok and so

is red. But Barbie pink, strange shades of rose and raspberry and esp. pale

violet look awful!

What have the cloth shops been full of for the last two years.

DD2 (more brunette) looks great in the present fashion (and is in pink and

violet from the last NNS as I type), But of course her hand me down fleece

is red and DD1's green trousers are uncleanably crawled in :-(

Sue Hutchinson, Mum to 30/01/98 and Isobel (HB) 23/02/01

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My mum the child psychiatrist was very determined her first two kids

should be gender " free " (they were a girl and a boy) that she

insisted they got non-typical presents.

It didn't work at all though... he still chose the cars and she still

chose the dolls - but at least they had a choice.

I'm trying to do the same with my kids, and DS has inherited all DDs

toys so has both types, but he still chooses to play with buses and

fire alarms - and he is much more " physical " , wants to playfight etc.

What have I done wrong!!

Karina

> Whats wrong with your son having a doll? How can we expect men to

grow up > and be good fathers if we never give them the chance to

learn how to nurture, > like girls do with dolls? Socialisation is a

horrible thing, I dont think > there should be boys and girls toys,

they should play with whatever they > want, without parents

predudice. My stepson has a cooking set, and a doll > becasue that

was what he wanted.

>

>

>

>

>

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Which reminds me: I've always got " sensible " colours for major items

like jackets, fleeces etc - don't really like pink at all, and

thought if a boy should inherit them it'd make more sense w neutral

colours like red, orange, and navy.

But we've inherited some things from my big sister which are ALL

pink. It's quite incredible - my niece must have had only pink

clothes, light pink, dark pink, purple pink, you name it but pink it

is. It doesn't help that they are all 10 years old, so have that

college sweater cut. Apart from a few frilly white blouses.

Anyway - there are a few very useful snowsuits and autumn jackets -

casual wear really, but good for an (English) winter day. So Dylon

comes to mind, but will they come out OK?. It's mostly cotton, which

dyes well I think, but what can be certain to camouflage the pink?

Strong red or navy perhaps? Bit worried about green and orange, might

turn out quite awful, and black is a bit heavy on kids I find.

There's also a baby pink snow suit which looked quite cute on DD, but

less so on DS (or is that just my prejudice ;-)) but it's got a pink

zip and a white rim around the hood. And taking all that off before I

dye it is starting to look like hard work... hmmm.

Karina

But Barbie pink, strange shades of rose and raspberry and esp. pale

> violet look awful!

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> My mum the child psychiatrist was very determined her first two kids

> should be gender " free " (they were a girl and a boy) that she

> insisted they got non-typical presents.

>

> It didn't work at all though... he still chose the cars and she

still

> chose the dolls - but at least they had a choice.

>

> I'm trying to do the same with my kids, and DS has inherited all DDs

> toys so has both types, but he still chooses to play with buses and

> fire alarms - and he is much more " physical " , wants to playfight

etc.

> What have I done wrong!!

>

> Karina

Well exactly. Having had a mixed sex family, both types of toys were

freely available and I never guided my kids in either direction of

toy. I certainly didn't slap the boys' wrists for choosing the cars

and weapon type toys, or the girls for wanting to play with Barbies.

Left entirely to their own devices that's what they chose.

Ruthie (mum to 5 girls and 3 boys)

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I have two DDs and again have tried not to have too many pink fluffy

things, dollies etc in the house. DD1 is very pink and fluffy but DD2

seems to prefer cars, fire engines. That said however she does give

them cuddles and take them for a ride in the pram!!!!!

Francesca

My mum the child psychiatrist was very determined her first two kids

should be gender " free " (they were a girl and a boy) that she

insisted they got non-typical presents.

>

> It didn't work at all though... he still chose the cars and she

still chose the dolls - but at least they had a choice.

>

> I'm trying to do the same with my kids, and DS has inherited all DDs

toys so has both types, but he still chooses to play with buses and

fire alarms - and he is much more " physical " , wants to playfight etc.

> What have I done wrong!!

>

> Karina

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> >Anton Mosimann etc!!

> Met him when I took part in a cookery competition - lovely man -

I have as well - he was a dad at my little sister's primary school

so he did a cookery presentation for the PTA - as you could

imagine it was the most successful event they've ever held!

Caroline

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DD1 is very pink and fluffy but DD2

> seems to prefer cars, fire engines. > Francesca

Similar here - francesca, we gave DD1 neutral clothes, TTTE videos, etc,

( OK the occasional party dress!) but she turned out pink and fluffy,

very girly, into clothes, '`s Secrets' magazines with free make

up, etc at 10.

DD2 - had DD1`s hand me downs, & due to living in the same house as

DD1, was exposed to pink & fluffy & Barbie from age zero - especially as

we weren`t planning on a DS, so we could go the whole hog and go Girly.

However she has turned out camouflage green - a real tomboy!

Barbara

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Karina,

Its not just the toys you give them that socialises boys to want to be

playful, and girls to want dolls, and make up etc, its mostly the fault of

advertising, tv, school and how they interact with friends. Both me and my

brother were brought up to respect otherpeople and have no predudices, but my

brother still says things like " Im going down the paki shop to get ... " which

I find highly offensive.

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